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Paleo through tragedy

by (1523)
Updated about 12 hours ago
Created June 30, 2014 at 7:26 PM

Earlier this year I started paleo in hopes of losing 150lbs. I started in January and was very consistent for three months. I'd lost 38lbs and most importantly, felt amazing. Until April 6th when my 35 year old husband suddenly passed away from a severe heart attack. Here I am three months later, raising a 10 year old son, weighing more than I did in January, half of my hair has fallen out and a variety of autoimmune issues are surfacing.

Every time I try to begin paleo again, I lose focus. Planning, preparing, and cooking a meal seems impossible at times and I give up. I've tried turning to friends and family for support but their responses typically consist of "you get a pass" or "you should be on antidepressants".

I really don't have a specific question and am not sure what I'm hoping to gain from this post, other than maybe someone has some profound words of wisdom or encouragement. Or maybe I just need a swift, no nonsense kick in the ass instead of "you get a pass".

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3 Answers

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40 · July 01, 2014 at 4:09 PM

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss and hope that you don't give up on yourself. Your late husband would not want to know that his passing is making you distressed and unmotivated. It's okay to find happiness--he would want that. You and him have been on a journey to raise a family, and now you need to carry on that journey for the both of you.

You can re-start paleo slowly, if you want. Don't make it stressful; make it fulfilling. And don't forget that goal you wanted to reach--you can still get there.

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8065 · June 30, 2014 at 9:16 PM

Wow, I'm so sorry for your loss, I just can't imagine the pain you are in.

I agree that a good medical workup is in order to make sure you health issues are addressed. You might really benefit from a functional medicine or integrative physician who can address both the physical issues and the grief you are experiencing. An allopathic MD won't take the time to address that at all.

Then take a good look at your son. You are ALL he has. You need to be here for him, and if you are 150 pounds (or more?) overweight, you are jeopardizing that for him. Let him be your motivation. Go through your home and eliminate anything that you know will be harmful to you. Do it for your son. When you are sad, write down your feelings, take a walk, or call a friend instead of stuffing the feelings down your throat with food. If you are going to eat, let it be healthful natural whole foods, not too sweet or carby. Don't beat yourself up when you slip, but every time you eat something healthful, tell yourself how proud you are that you are doing such a good job for your son. "Wow, I'm eating this liver so I can be well for my son." is much more reinforcing than "I'm a horrible person for eating that corn chip." Prepare healthful meals for both of you and be proud of yourself for taking good care of your son. Think about how pleased your husband would be.

If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your son. He needs you.

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245 · June 30, 2014 at 8:50 PM

I'm not one for encouragement.

But hair loss could be a sign of thyroid problems, if you're dieting, specifically if you're doing paleo you should make sure you're doing it properly, E.G. get enough carbs and keep if mind even if you reduce calories you still need to get in all your nutrients.

As far as adherence goes, it's important to set small achievable goals, a goal of 150lbs of weight loss is too big of a goal to start out with. For meal cooking maybe you should look up some things on mass prep 1 day of the week so you can cut down your cooking times significantly.

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