In the spirit of the "Shit Girls/Guys/etc. say" videos and the "Shit Paleos say" post, what about stuff we've heard from the other side?
"You eat what?!?"
"But grains are good for you!"
"Oh, I could never live without ___ (sugar, bread, pasta, salt, cheese, muffins, snack cakes, peanut butter...)"
"You spend how much money on food?!?"
"Oh, so it's basically just like Atkins."
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"You're going to have a heart attack."
"I'm definitely going to have to go the gym after this cake/doughnut/ice cream/cookie."
"How can you not eat this cake/doughnut/ice cream/cookie? It's Debbie's release-from-the-hospital-after-her-fourth-heart-attack-from-too-many-cake/doughnut/ice cream/cookie-parrties-party!"
"Spin class is my faaaaaaaaaaavorite. But I'm still can't lose this 10 pounds. I must need to do more spin classes."
"After this meal I still have 1433 calories left. But I need to watch my fat intake."
"It's the saturated fat that you need to look out for."
"Yeah, I eat pretty healthy. I stay away from all red meat. Doctor said it's the reason for my high cholesterol."
"I stay away from red meat and pork. And I eat a TON of fruit and whole grain. Want a slice of my papaya?"
"Are there any 100 calorie snack packs left?"
"I did Zumba last night and burned over 800 calories!"
"So you eat raw meat?"
"Have you read the china study?"
"But lamb has so much cholesterol!"
"But eggs have so much cholesterol!"
"But liver has so much cholesterol!"
"I'm sorry, but I just can't fathom how that much cholesterol is good for you!"
"You look great! I baked these cookies for you..."
After explaining no grains, legumes, dairy, sugar....
"Then what DO you eat??"
"Yeah but you have a crazy metabolism. I could never eat like that or I'd get fat."
"I can't give up starches, I need fiber for constipation."
"... it's fat-free!"
"Anything is OK in moderation."
"Just eat a balanced diet."
"I support Paula Deen."
"We can't have you over for dinner anymore, because there's nothing we can cook for you. What do you eat?" (Repeated monthly.)
"You must come see this movie our vegetarian club is showing. It's called Veducated, and it will change your mind for sure."
"But you're clogging up your arteries!"
"But that diet is so unhealthy!" (This from a morbidly obese person who had asked how I lost weight.)
"That's really extreme. I believe we should eat a healthy, balanced diet. And anyway, grains are good for you."
"I'm going back on Weight Watchers for the 17th time. This time I'm going to make it work!"
(I have one this acquaintance who struggles with her weight, is metabolically resistant to all the usual methods, and IMHO is perfect candidate for paleo. I have sent her information, book recs, shared my experience. She keeps going back to ww, hating it, going off, and gaining 10 more pounds. She comments frequently on how great I look and complains frequently about her struggle to lose. SHE CANNOT GET PAST CW. I think she thinks, about me, "it's ok for you because you're diabetic and so of course you can't eat [sugar]." But I'm some kind of exception or anomaly and of course "Atkins" would be unhealthy for normal people like her. I have vowed to shut my mouth about this with her unless she comes to me and asks. Everytime she goes back to ww I feel like...I want to stab her with a baby carrot. I do understand, in a way, because I remember when I was too emotionally attached to my bread and pasta to even consider the idea. But I also know I was willing to TRY anything, and results and feeling good on low carb convinced me, and that eventually evolved towards paleo. ANYWAY! Long parenthetical. Sorry. Point is: I don't get why people will return again and again to something that fails them every time but won't take a chance on something unconventional just once. That is crazy shit.) (eta it's like going back to a bad boyfriend or girlfriend again and again!)
I also hear the no-time excuse a lot.
I also hear its close cousin, "I could never afford to feed my family a paleo diet." This comes from a woman who should own stock in those cookie/cracker/chip snack packs, cereals, dinosaur-shaped microwave chicken nuggets, "Go-gurts," diet soda and other incredibly expensive convenience foods. It's all her three kids eat. o.O
Today, at lunch
Her: "Wow, that smells SO GOOD! What is it?"
Me: "It's just some salmon with lettuce and spoonful of tzatziki." Her: "That's so healthy!"
The puzzling thing to me about other people's diets is that they make themselves miserable eating food they don't like. I like what I eat on paleo (I do eat yogurt. Shoot me.). I miss some other food (cookies), but at least I'm not miserable eating what I DO eat.
"There are many ways to be healthy."
"Different things work for different people." (Yeah, right. So does a lion have several different theories and methodologies for her diet? No? I didn't think so.)
"My dad just reduced his cholesterol intake and takes statins, and now he's fine." Ugh.
Coworker: "Well, bread is in the Bible, so I'm eating it."
My view is that simply finding oneself in such a dialogue with a SAD person is a no-win situation. I consider myself successful when I am eating the way I want to eat, without providing any form of explanation or justification or rationale. Without even discussing diet. If this means my non-eating of cupcakes captures the attention a serious pastry eater, at most I'll find myself simply saying, "No thanks" and refusing subtle invitations to argue.
Imagine that you're a pagan, or an atheist. And you decide to go to the local Southern Baptist congregation where you think it might prove fruitful to make general statements in behalf of the tenets of your pagan or atheist worldview. Would that be a conversation you'd like to have? Would you expect to be greeted warmly and kindly?
People very rarely switch paradigms based on evidence. In the present case, this is because the evidence that a Paleo eater produces (studies, research, science) is ipso fact considered invalid at worst, irrelevant at best.
Now, if someone I love or care about is eating SAD and asks about the diet I seem to be on, I may choose to "share" but only in a setting that is free of contention or the need to be right or to make anyone else wrong. The key is: I need to receive an invitation to talk about my diet, before saying word-one. Barring an invitation, I simply notice that my diet is different from yours, or hers, or his, and that's about it.
1) "but dr. oz said..."
2) my ex-mom-inlaw: "dr. oz said red meat raises ur chance for diabetes" me: "that's impossible cuz meat doesn't trigger insulin imbalance" her: "i know that. but why would he say that?" me: "because he's wrong and doesn't fact check!" her: "i know he's wrong. but why would he say that?" ((i don't think she understood she was stuck on a loop like a computer operating on pre-set assumptions - "people on tv must make true statements all the time"))
3) "but this is complex carbohydrate, not simple carbohydrate" ((there will be 1-2hrs of a delay to ur blood sugar spiking but it'll be the same spike all the same))
4) "but this is carbohydrate, not sugar" ((and my head explodes...))
"We like liver but it's too high in cholesterol so we don't eat it."
"That was a great workout! Want to get pizza and beer after?"
"How many points is in this donut?"
"No, this is the HEALTHY ice cream. duh."
"Look, this microwavable dinner is called lean cuisine. It must be good for you."
Me: I'll take black coffee (possibly adding heavy cream later) Silly friend: Hi, I'll take a low-fat soy mocha latte...oh, and can you add hazelnut flavor syrup?
(friend and I stare at each other as if the other is crazy)
"Yeah, but what was the life expectancy of cavemen who ate like that? 25 years? 30 years?"
Edited to add one I just heard 5 minutes ago:
"That's why Paula Deen got the diabetes- for eating a pound of butter a day!" (I couldn't resist, I had to argue this one.)
Him: "I just don't understand why you want to do this whole...no-carb thing all the time. They won't kill you!"
Me [nomming down on sweet potato]: "no-carb thing?"
"I just ate two-hours ago and now I'm hungry again!"
I just downloaded this app to count my calories. I burnt 300 on the treadmill last night, which means I can have cheese on my tortilla today.
"Oh ok... But I can't do that... I have high cholesterol" "You are excluding an entire food group, you can't do that" "You can't eat that much eggs... Three a week is is the maximum!"
Food Tech Teacher- " You know an amazing amount of information!"
Doctor - " You should be eating a variety of foods, such as pasta"
Health Class teacher ( Obese) - " No that's entirely wrong, saturated fat is bad for you and carbs give you energy * eats bagel* "
Uncle - " Yeah well if you were a REAL caveman you should go and hunt your meat , we aren't cavemen anymore"
Me just finishing explaining paleo to friend , friend- " oh so it's something called a glucose diet? " ( W T F )
friends- " Bread is everything, I would never chuck bread away or say it's bad. It's written in the book"
"I eat really healthy, I eat lots of whole wheat bread and lots of bananas. And I keep my meat intake very low"
"I get my magnesium from beer"
"I don't feel very well"
"Why do you go to sleep so early?"
"Why do you get up so early?"
(After I coughed once) "Are you okay? Do you feel sick?"
"Why do healthy things taste bad?"
"I can't afford to eat like that" As they spend $8 on a fast food meal. I cacn cook two or three paleo meals for that price.
'One of the guys from Ben and Jerry's died of a heartattack, that's what you get for eating so much fat I guess'
'So why does the NHS tell me that saturated fat is bad?? I think they know more than you fella'
'How many eggs do you eat?' Me: 'about 3 or 4 a day' Friend: 'What??? That's crazy! I eat 2 or 3 a week TOPS'
TV: 'Now 50% less fat!'
Me: 'I eat a high fat diet' Friend 'Dude, mcdonalds is BAD for you' Me: 'I know?'
'Ugh can't believe how many doughnuts I ate! Definitely going for a run tomorrow'
'Dude, shut the f*ck up, no one cares about your eating habits!' Me: 'Sorry'
'I really need to lose weight' Me: 'Just eat a high fat diet' Friend: 'hahahahahaha!'
Women on BBC Breakfast 'The link between red meat and cancer is now basically irrefutable' Reporter: 'So what sorts of things should we be eating instead?' 'Pulses, grains, soy, vegetarian options' Me: 'Aaaaagghhh!!! Shut up!!! Aaggghhhh!!!'
"You have some interesting ideas on health" (after I put coconut cream in my coffee + a square of 100% chocolate. I said "Why, thank you." despite her politically correct attempt at being scared. (This is a coworker that I regularly see eating doritos and other crap-in-a-bag all day long, but things like beef jerky are anathema to her.)
"I don't have time to make stuff at home."
This is probably one of the most common excuses for eating fast food which I heard again from someone recently. It was often my excuse pre-paleo as well, even knowing for years from a logical standpoint that eating straight-up junk food wasn't good for me.
SAD but true, unfortunately.
"You see, from my point of view, when I want to eat things like Pasta or Ice-Cream, I just train longer. I think it´s that simple." (Coming from a friend who´s trying to lose weight..)
Ummm..actually, it´s not.
From multiple coworkers several times a week: "Oh, you can't have [insert processed artificial chemical snack food]? I'm so sorry."
Me [to myself]: "I'm not."
You don't eat bread? You must be starving!
Yesterday I got this from a co-worker to me:
"You can't tell me this isn't healthy! Its a plain whole grain bagel without all the bad fattening cream cheese!"
"But I need potatoes, rice, and pasta to regulate my blood sugar." - Me a year ago.
"But cavemen weren't stressed out because they didn't have traffic or deadlines to worry about." - A newscaster after reviewing the Paleo Lifestyle
"Wanna go get nachos?" - My room mate every day, even after workouts to lose weight.
"You know a diet is bogus when you cut out an entire food group." - A nutritionist friend.
"Hey, that actually tastes really good!"
"Cave men were only 4 feet tall and lived to be about 20 years old. We need to be eating food that is for tall people and we want to live long lives and eating that much meat is not good for you." - Another nutritionist friend.
A family member to me: "Well, Asians eat grains all the time and they're not fat."
Copy and pasted from a message board I occasionally read; I saw this yesterday. The poster was slamming all saturated fats, but focused on butter (which, being dairy-free, I don't eat, but still would prefer over "butter substitute").
"Butter is butter, contains cholesterol and saturated fat. But it is rather that a lot of poor quality alternative products that are full of trans fat, which we now know can be be worse than butter. However, there are healthy alternatives that do not contain trans fat. Not all butter substitutes are the same. [...] If I am talking about the use in cooking, then using olive oil is healthier, without a doubt."
I did a very dramatic facepalm after reading this.
My 51 year old co-worker said: "Ewwww" when I told her I had an avocado as a snack earlier.
Then she said: "I've never had an avocado".
Really? in 51 years of living, you've never had an avocado?
"I can eat all the pizza and ice cream I want! Calories in, calories out!" - SAD person pounding away on a treadmill for 1 hr+
"I have never felt better." - acne ridden, puffy-faced, pudgy vegetarian/vegan
"I eat whole grains and drink Kangen (ionized/scam) water for weight loss." - obese coworker (nurse)
"All that weight you've lost is just water weight. You'll start packing on the pounds with all that FAT you eat." - SAD disbeliever in my 25+ lb weight loss so far.
In response to a youtube clip from Fathead that I sent my uncle to try to explain to him that the lipid hypothesis is false...
"Yeah, well what are your sources? I bet I could find a video that tries to prove that the Holocaust didn't happen..."
"I can't believe you're not dead yet"
"Are you vegan?" (when I refuse to eat the foods cooked with HFCS and vegetable oil, and settle for the fruits, vegetables, and salad with no dressing instead during most events)
"Yeah but those Eskimos/Africans/Cavemen didn't live for a long time. Their diet was supposed to only help them short term." (and, what about the harsh conditions that such people lived in? Predators? Lack of healthcare?)
"You need to drink 8 glasses of liquid a day"
"I only eat fat free"
"Well, acne and bad teeth is all genetics, you can't really do anything"
"Why are you on a diet, you're not even fat"
"That sounds so expensive" (I spend under $200 per month on food in an expensive city, it's not cheap but it's doable)
Friend: You NEED shampoo. Me: Egyptians didn't have shampoo. Friend: Yeah. but they smelled! Me: Hey, do I smell? Friend: No, why? Me: Does my hair look dirty or weird? Friend: No, why? Me: Well, I didn't use shampoo, conditioner, nor soap on my hair for two years. Friend: ... I think you should shampoo just in case there's bacteria living in your scalp.
I try to shut my mouth (trying to get my point across is useless when the SAD mentality is deeply ingrained in others) Instead I try to be a living proof that goes against conventional wisdom. I believe that one of my friends is now curious about my paleo diet. She's shocked that I am not dead yet. She lives on a low fat diet as recommended by her doctor due to her heart condition, but she slowly let go of her fear of trying out my food, and even asked to try my butter. Because she's surprised that I am not dead yet.
"So you won't eat brown bread, but you're happy to eat bacon?" - ffs...cannot even be bothered beginning to explain why.
"Life's too short" - yes, but I'd like to live the longest of those short years I possibly can...
and I was talking to my dad on the phone who said "You don't party? You've got to get a life!" Because I choose to go to bed early on a Friday night so I can be a beast at crossfit on Saturday mornings.
Yesterday from a co-worker: co-worker: "my friends father had heart disease, so he has to watch his cholesterol" me: "so he is at risk from heart disease because it is genetic?" co-worker: "no! he is at risk from heart disease because his cholesterol is high! I can't talk to you about this anymore!"
"I really want to have this 'x,' but it's 3 points and I'm saving my points b/c I'm going to the Cheesecake Factory later."
"At least I'm not going to die from eating some weird shit."
-my SAD friend while i put an avocado on top of a burger patty.
I can't believe that
"But what do you have for breakfast?"
hasn't made it on the list yet. I get that all the time. Usually it's the first follow-up question after asking me to explain how I eat.
Though I don't agree with the implicit assumptions in some of the above comments (Such as the notion that paleo is LC by definition) I must say this is probably the funniest and most true thread I've ever come across after many years on many different forums. As a personal trainer, I hear many of the above on an almost daily basis.
- It's "just all genetics"
- I can't lose weight eating...insert starvation level of calorie intake here
- Yeah you lose weight on X-diet, but gain it all back once you go back to eating "normal"
"Look at me, I ate bread and beans all my life and I turned out just fine."
Yes, my friend is not overweight, but she gets sick frequently, acne, never has a good night sleep, her knee "bothers" her, and doesn't have any muscle whatsoever. She can just barely lift 30 lbs.
You HAVE to see "Forks Over Knives "...
Co-worker: "You're on a diet? But you're not overweight!"
Friend who was cooking an all vegetable stir-fry: "I guess this is the exact opposite of what you eat, huh?"
From a recent health magazine for women: EAT MORE FISH!
(OK, I can get behind that.)
BUT IF YOU'RE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT, SKIP THE FATTY FISH LIKE SARDINES AND SALMON, AND GO FOR TILAPIA.
From a friend who is trying to get pregnant: "Well, I eat plenty of whole grains, so no problem there. But I'm going to stop eating fish and carrots. They're dangerous!"
Same friend to me (I'm also TTC): "Aren't you going to eat like a normal person once you're pregnant?"
"I can't eat artichokes. They're too high in fat!" (???)
"No avocado - too fattening. Could I have a side of ranch?"
"I'll have the (menu item), but could you take out the broccoli, cabbage, peppers, and onions?"
Waiter: "So.. you just want the tofu and noodles, nothing else?"
"Oh, I could never do that. I couldn't live without bread!"
"So, basically, you just eat meat, right?"
"You're so good for bringing your own lunch to work. I try, but I always forget." (Um, it's not that hard?)
My biggest thing, and this goes for my history of pre-Paleo eating as well, is that I just don't have a sweet tooth. Friends, family and coworkers just can't understand why I don't want a cookie or piece of candy or other "treat". They stare at me incredulously, like, how can you possibly be denying yourself? You might as well be from another planet if you don't take the proferred sugarbomb, no matter what your reason is.
I heard these two yesterday:
"After doing all that Zumba today, I deserve that corn dog!"
(after piling a plate with macaroni and cheese and a dinner roll, says), "I'm gonna be a fatty today and get some meat." (puts a piece of beef rib on plate that is approximately the size of my thumb)
Every once in a while when I get a cold or when my migraines come back, my mom blames "Paleo", and everyone in the family, just goes along...
"Aren't you too young to get your arteries clogged up?" "Cavemen died at the age of 30." <- I never know how to answer this "Coconut oil is bad for your heart" And there's always things that my friends the nutrition graduates start debating. "Why does your food look so weird?" and there's always my brother in law who argues with me about science and health (he has nothing to do with either, and he's very PRO-pharmaceuticals), yet is always drinking diet coke, and smoking.
- Me: I'm trying to eat healthier because of a digestive condition
Friend: Oh, so you must eat a lot of whole grains then? My husband has diabetes and doc told us to make sure he gets his whole grains.
Me: No actually I dont eat grains. They have these things called antinutrients-
- Friend glares at me and turns away
- She and her husband are both obese. Just sayin'
"You know, your brain can't function without carbs."
"What about the seven nations study?"
"Wait. . . you're NOT vegetarian?" - said by many, many folks who have seen me eating amounts of veg/salads they consider inhumane. My answer is usually, "I like vegetables. With bloody rare meat."
"You're not a doctor." - said by relatives, mostly, after they ask for advice and I tell them something they don't like.
"What smells funny?" - other office inhabitants who have the "misfortune" of walking into the kitchen as I crack open a can of kipper snacks. Cue them opening the freezer to retrieve #14 of 38 Lean Cuisines they have stashed.
"Can you eat that?" "Can you eat this?" "Can you eat ANYTHING?"
I know I'm late on this, but:
Bodybuilder friend trying to lean out while eating two sandwiches "I need to do more cardio, man"
Doctor "Have you heard of the China Study?"
Me "Have you heard of Denise Minger?"
Friend drinking and smoking "Man, I don't know anyone with as many health problems as you."
Me "You will soon enough."
"You may want to cut your current vitamin D level by 33 to 50%." --my doctor.
Um, no thanks.
Not from SAD people, but:
"It's great that way of eating works so well for you, but everyone is different, and my system just can't tolerate meat."
"Red meat causes cancer. Want proof? HERE - just look at all these Google search results!"
After saying I don't jog and I wear minimalist shoes
"But we aren't cavemen anymore! We've evolved! You need the arch support, and if you don't jog you'll gain weight!"
"Yeah, I'm going on a modified version of the paleo diet, because the original one is bad for your heart and your liver because of all the saturated fat and cholesterol, and when you go back to eating like normal, the weight just comes back on super fast... I haven't lost much weight though... oh yeah, and I have cheat meals once a week"
I really, really, really hate it when people think of the paleo diet as a weight loss or a fad diet because I spend so much time, effort, and money eating 100% locally grown organic paleo food. It's not easy.
In speaking of that, there's this one:
"Why don't you want to go to (insert place)?"
"There's nothing I'd eat there..."
"Well, maybe you could just go off your diet for a while... You'll still lose weight!"
Maaajor face palm.
"Paleo.... isnt that the fad diet I keep hearing about? Good luck with that."
"Soooo...... what do you eat then?"
"All that protein is gonna suck out your cartlidge."
I don't even..
"All you have to do to lose weight is eat less, it's a scientific fact! I had toast for breakfast this morning."
-My boyfriend (I have lost about 10 pounds and he hasn't lost anything. He's great and all but trying to convince him to go paleo with me isn't going so well, haha)
I've been gluten free for two years and this was from my mother last week - The entire family is at a steakhouse and I am waiting on my yummy prime rib. They bring the plates of bread and the whole table dives on it like they have never seen bread before.
She says to me - "Do you want some bread? Oh wait...does bread have wheat?" I have stopped trying.
~~~ My friend said "Dr. Atkins died of a heart attack from blocked arteries." I said "No he didn't. He died from hitting his head on the sidewalk." She said "Well, I don't believe in low carb diets.
I didn't know low carb was a belief system!
Do you get to use forks?
Conversation between a friend and me. He's 19 years old, approximately 40 pounds overweight, and sedentary.
"So, how much longer are you going to be on this diet?" (I've been on it for a month.)
"Well, I'm trying it out, and if I like it then I'll do it indefinitely."
"But that's terrible!" (You could hear the exasperation in his voice.)
"No, terrible is feeling lethargic every afternoon from 1 to 4."
Obese, sedentary roommate in his early 30s with arthritis:
"So, you know how doing this whole paleo crossfit thing is pretty much a full time job for you?"
This video has already been made!!!! haha
"I'm going to try what you recommend tonight."
From an overweight friend.
I recommended him paleo and weight training.
Tonight when we went to the gym, he headed straight for the treadmill.
"who do you think you are, Ron Swanson?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrIeP798hiQ
"you aren't going to eat this donut I brought the group?"
"we miss you, why don't you come out with us as much" :( need to work on ordering at restaurants so I can still have friends
"so you only eat raw meat?"
"I eat whatever the F*ck I want, as long as it tastes good"