I recently learned about the Paleo way of life and although its been tough to explain and I've faltered a few times, I'm loving it.
Problem is that I can't get my wife on board.
I've sent her the literature online, explained the benefits, etc. but she's just really, really bad when it comes to healthy eating.
Unfortunately, she doesn't see her poor eating is ruining her life and although she realizes she's not eating healthy, she's of willing to make any changes.
Is anyone in a similar situation?
I really want her to change her unhealthy habits. Besides her health, we have two children that I don't want to pick up any more bad eating habits.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Do it by yourself. Lead by example. Either she'll see the changes in you and want to jump on board, or she won't. When it comes down to it, you really can't make her do anything, but you can be a prime example of how awesome it is.
Even half-assed paleo is better than none at all. Minimizing wheat is nearly as good as eliminating it, particularly if you're not extremely sensitive to it (most folks aren't too sensitive to wheat). Replacing seed oils with healthier alterantives is a huge step. Increasing vegetable content, another biggie.
Going cold turkey isn't the only way to do paleo. Ease her into it, she won't likely quibble over little changes like she would with larger changes. The larger changes aren't always necessary anyway.
The BEST cookbook I have seen (and I have checked them ALL out from our library) is Paleo Comfort Foods. Make a few of those recipe for her and I think she'll be hooked!
Also, if she's making more of the food for the family, consider taking over dinners by loading up a programmable crockpot before you leave for work in the morning with a paleo meal to slow cook all day long. When you get home for dinner, I bet you that you'll find a happy wife (because she didn't have to cook dinner!) and a happy family ready to eat a delicious meal.
If she's pouring cereal for the kiddos for breakfast, get up early and make a crustless quiche or homemade breakfast sausage with scrambled eggs.
I do most of the cooking, shopping and food prep for our family. Going paleo was my idea; my husband didn't care because he still got fed. Because I pretty much just put food in front of my husband, he's never complained and now he loves the way he feels on our paleo diet!
I would bet that if you just started cooking more, feeding everyone good meals and letting them come to their own conclusions... you might really make some headway. :-)
I have learned you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Family is the absolute hardest to convince to eat healthier. I have lost 85lbs going Paleo, and am a new person. I have given my family all the information they need. They are just too stuck in their archaic beliefs. If anything, they resist far more than any friend or stranger that you try to get on board. I have to deal with an ex-wife who feeds my children processed food at every meal, leaving my children sick and grumpy. All they want to eat is garbage, instead of the healthy whole foods I give them because they are used to hyperpalatable (overly salty and sweet) foods.
Just do the best you can, and lead by example. Do not waiver in your beliefs, and sometime in their life when all this becomes common knowledge, they might change their mind.
For me, I don't care about about my ex, but just hope that once my young children are older they will see the value in eating a healthy balanced diet, devoid of grains and excessive dairy and make the decision themselves.
attraction rather than promotion and lead by example.
you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to.
you do what you gotta do and let her do what she has to do.
You also should remember that if your wife is non-paleo for another few months or years, or even a decade or two (depending on her age), it's probably not the end of the world. It's a bummer that I'm starting paleo at age 50, and it would have been much better if I had started at 20, or 2. We'll see what damage I've done but I've been at it for a year or two now and I'm doing quite well and I think I'm not deluding myself in believing I have a shot at a resonably long, healthy life, despite blowing it royally for 50 years. So, yes, like everybody says: lead by example and learn to cook. But also remember that she'll probably come around eventually, and she will probably get by fine in the meanwhile. It won't be optimal, but with a modicum of luck, she'll do alright until she comes around.
And as she grows less healthy and you grow more healthy, she will come around … eventually.
My son and I are the household. He's 12, and eats everything in sight. He loves the Paleo diet, and has commented on the positive differences he notices on the days he sticks more with it as opposed to the days he does not. When I started, I never said to him that he was going to do it, and I have never told him he can't eat something he wants. However, I have told him I'm not cooking those foods that I no longer eat. He can cook them, if he's up to it, or he can have them outside the home. And he's ok with that.
You didn't say who does most of the cooking. If you do, just don't make the foods you don't eat. If she really wants them, she'll have to make them. If she does the bulk of the cooking, perhaps taking over a portion of the cooking would go a long way to leading her to better eating. Also, if she does get on board with it, help her plan a cheat day once a week. My first cheat was mac and cheese. And man, did I feel awful after! But I allowed myself to have it, because I was craving it! My last major cheat was homemade ice cream with stevia. Big change there for me. My friends and I have noticed how much our cheats have changed over time.
Also, most people I have spoken to about Paleo initially assume that the diet is low carb/low fat and thereby unsustainable, which it would be, were it low carb/low fat. Perhaps she's not seeing it for what it is yet. Give her time. Be awesome in your new life. Don't flaunt it. She'll likely at least try it down the road. Especially if you help with the cooking!
Get some decent cookbooks (Everyday Paleo is ok, some of the recipes are good, but Well Fed is awesome) and start cooking some of those meals. Let her eat how she wants but if you take the effort to make delicious and healthy food, she won't reach for the cheezy poofs.
You have to win some battles before you win the war.
My biggest gripe with Paleo is that not only do I have to shop more often, I Leo have to cook every night and morning AND pack my husband lunch. He is the one who wanted to do it, but I would be much happier if he took over planning, shopping, and cooking for at least 2 dinners a week. I no longer have what I consider a mothers right to call for a pizza night. I am with the people who say cook for her and I'll bet she eats it.
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