This is PaleoHacks...PaleoWhacks is on the other side of the internet.

I see bears at the zoo masturbating all the time, dude.

I'm pretty sure that your body is just about done with the minerals by the time they make it to your balls...

Dogs, cats, lions, bears, and a number of other mammals self-stimulate with their front paws; randy walruses use their flippers. Horses and donkeys, whose masturbatory habits have been particularly well-studied, engage in "rhythmic bouncing, pressing, or sliding of the erect penis against the abdomen" (PDF); male deer do the same. The 19th-century physiologist Karl Friedrich Burdach has even described something like female ejaculation among solitary mares, which "rub themselves against whatever obstacles they find, often spurting a white, viscous mucus." A bull, meanwhile, stimulates itself by alternately protruding its penis from a genital sheath, while some moose can ejaculate simply by rubbing their antlers on bits of vegetation. According to observations made at the University of Buffalo in the 1940s, both male and female porcupines manipulate their genitals with inanimate objects—they're also known to "seize, straddle, and ride sticks about the cage."

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2009/07/hands_or_paws_or_anything_they_got.html

It appears that there are many reasons for masturbation, even though it may seem like a "waste of energy". There are theories about it with wild animals, and I'm not really an expert in that. But I know that humans also masturbate for pleasure, such as in times of stress and anxiety or even boredom. Even toddlers masturbate, not because of sexual needs, but because the brain releases "feel good" chemicals during the process. It's considered a healthy part of development. I would say that since humans these days have goals on earth extend far beyond just food and shelter, masturbating makes sense. Why not? It's self-medication in a way.

Anyone masturbated and though "gee, this is going against my basic nature"? Anyone?

I would prefer to have sex, but if she doesn't want to it's called rape.

SIGH I probably shouldn't do this, as it seems to be a troll...

If this is not an attempt at trollint, I'd suggest a little Google research before posing the question.

Dude, I have a cat and he knows how to use his tongue on himself. Many, many animals masturbate and I am positive cavemen did it as well.

Anyone else reminded of the 'precious bodily fluids' quote from Dr. Strangelove?

There was masturbation before the Internet? Wow!