Paleo Diet and Paleolithic Diet Questions & Answers

Question

13

The apocalypse is happening. Do you eat people? Which ones do you chomp on first (given you aren't a zombie, cause they don't discriminate).

edited May 29 at 4:24

Colin H
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asked Apr 29 2012 at 23:25

Lyndsay
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Duh! Braaaiiiiinnsssss!!! – FED at LiveCaveman.com Apr 29 2012 at 23:41

3

I was gonna comment, but it turned out way too disturbing. :) – Blitherakt Apr 29 2012 at 23:43

5

who is trying to close this? They shall be gobbled first! – Lyndsay Apr 29 2012 at 23:53

2

What kind of question is this? What supplements/vitamins are you taking? Stop eating those magic mushrooms! – VB Apr 30 2012 at 4:17

The Aztecs, cause they've got it comin'! – Dave S. Apr 30 2012 at 13:56

killer Nibs · Answer 1 · 2012-04-29 23:28:24Z UTC

11

organic, free range humans.

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:28

killer Nibs
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Good call, but how to tell the grassfed ones? – Lyndsay Apr 29 2012 at 23:51

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They have tanned skin and are harder to catch – josh Apr 29 2012 at 23:53

i guess i would look for paleos i suppose. – killer Nibs Apr 30 2012 at 0:05

ComplexRehvenge · Answer 2 · 2012-04-30 00:01:06Z UTC

9

Vegans. The grassfed little bastards. :)

answered Apr 30 2012 at 0:01

ComplexRehvenge
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Ahh... Careful!! Vegans are grainfed. It's the "healthier" diet don't you know? On the bright side they'll be easier to outrun! – ecks Apr 30 2012 at 1:43

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Raw vegans! Problem solved. – Jess Apr 30 2012 at 4:52

I don't think so - there omega 6:3 ratio would probably suck and they might be too fatty or too lean ... – Lady_Arwen May 29 at 1:01

desi · Answer 3 · 2012-04-29 23:56:04Z UTC

5

Well,I like my meat marbelled,crossfitters won't do.

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:56

desi
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Sunny Beaches · Answer 4 · 2012-04-30 00:27:06Z UTC

My mom and her boyfriend went crazy with canned goods when there was that "Y2K" fear. We got a battery operated portable stove and lots and lots and lots of canned food like tuna, potatoes, peas (not paleo, but eh, whatever), water, and juices. LOTS of it. I'd be hiding out in my mom's basement, eating tuna and drinking mini tomato juice cans...and reading with a cat on my lap and drinking some tea.

Plus, I'm pretty sure all the stores wouldn't mind if I helped myself to some nice food while you guys are all out eating each other. Hey, more food for me.

I'm going to keep my doors bolted to keep all you guys out.

James · Answer 5 · 2012-04-30 00:37:54Z UTC

4

Humans are the last thing you'd want to eat. Asides from all the diseases we carry and are more than happy enough to give to each other, you'd be adding on the possibility of zombie virus carriers infecting you by eating them...

answered Apr 30 2012 at 0:37

James
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Not true - there are like a lot of humans and one would probably last you a week or even more. – VB Apr 30 2012 at 4:14

CoachCanadan · Answer 6 · 2012-04-29 23:34:09Z UTC

3

That's what I'd say. Grass-fed humans only. Well, grass-and-meat-fed. ;)

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:34

CoachCanadan
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Nell Stephenson fits that bill. I'd like to eat her. – foreveryoung Jun 2 at 21:21

Kaitlin · Answer 7 · 2012-04-30 00:10:26Z UTC

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Sadly girls would be tastier and less stinky than guys--so would be hiding not hunting

answered Apr 30 2012 at 0:10

Kaitlin
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OMG - I never thought of it... Thanks for the tip! – VB Apr 30 2012 at 4:14

April S. · Answer 8 · 2012-04-29 23:29:05Z UTC

2

Considering the nature of my last question, I'd be a picky zombie eater and would say zombie beef rib eye.

*EDIT: HAHA oh we're supposed to be cannibals. Okay um, I guess I'd eat other Paleo people. Ooh! Or maybe the Inuit. Y'all know why.

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:29

April S.♦
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1

would SAD people be like CAFO meat? not optimal, but cheaper and more readily available? – killer Nibs Apr 30 2012 at 0:08

Wisper · Answer 9 · 2012-04-29 23:44:26Z UTC

1

Isn't cannibalism kinda like the problem in the first place during a zombie apocalypse?

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:44

Wisper
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	Guess it'd be like the beginning of The Stand. – Renee Apr 29 2012 at 23:46
	Yeah, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! – Lyndsay Apr 29 2012 at 23:56

HeatherN1321 · Answer 10 · 2012-04-29 23:57:15Z UTC

1

So...if I'm not a zombie...what would be my motivation to eat people?

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:57

HeatherN1321
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Lack of livestock, they have all escaped. Humans are easy to catch. – Lyndsay Apr 30 2012 at 0:01

4

In that case...I'd start with the Amish. – HeatherN1321 Apr 30 2012 at 1:44

OMG LOL. Heather, I couldn't help but crack up with your response to Lyndsay... – Esther May 1 2012 at 6:31

MrsD · Answer 11 · 2012-04-30 00:05:16Z UTC

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Depends on which humans had the best omega 6 to omega 3 ratio.

answered Apr 30 2012 at 0:05

MrsD
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Jac Guillory · Answer 12 · 2012-04-30 00:26:46Z UTC

1

MMMMMMMMM BRAINS!

answered Apr 30 2012 at 0:26

Jac Guillory
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ZombieApocalypseKitten · Answer 13 · 2012-04-30 01:12:17Z UTC

1

groaaaaaaaaaaaan Braaaaaains! Braaaains are Paaaaaaleooooooo

answered Apr 30 2012 at 1:12

ZombieApocalypseKitten
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Rigton · Answer 14 · 2012-06-02 21:27:33Z UTC

1

People flare up my GERD/IBS.

answered Jun 2 at 21:27

Rigton
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Renee · Answer 15 · 2012-04-29 23:46:09Z UTC

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Enough animals around and weeds to eat...I'd die first then come back and EAT YOU!!!! (this thread is weird lol)

answered Apr 29 2012 at 23:46

Renee
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ancestral_stars · Answer 16 · 2012-04-30 00:07:16Z UTC

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Becoming a zombie would be more paleo lol

answered Apr 30 2012 at 0:07

ancestral_stars
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Scotty Von Porkchop · Answer 17 · 2012-04-30 16:40:37Z UTC

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I wonder if pretty people taste better and is it a bit gay eating guy? A zombie apocalypse is so confusing, maybe it would be better to raid a off licence and drug dealer and just 'have at it'

answered Apr 30 2012 at 16:40

Scotty Von Porkchop
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Pretty people are doused in silicons, dyes, synthetic hair, inedible implants, and Xanax. They probably don't taste better. Lol. – Esther May 1 2012 at 6:40

Esther · Answer 18 · 2012-05-01 06:36:32Z UTC

I think I'd somehow steal a huge yacht, stock it with a bunch of necessities, etc... and wind up in the middle of crap-nowhere in the ocean and anchor down. Once my canned goods run out, I'll fish in the sea. I'd even have a little topside garden on deck.

Other than that, if things really started to get rough out there, I'd hightail it to the nearest mostly excluded tribe I could find that wouldn't be affected by the virus because of their lack of interaction with outsiders.

I mean, you now... providing the tribe wasn't a bunch of cannibals.

And I guess I should learn how to swim, first...

EDIT: Oh, and I should probably learn how to sail a yacht...

foreveryoung · Answer 19 · 2012-06-02 21:24:00Z UTC

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I would definitely eat a human being. Brains first, and preferably a brunette with a nice body- maybe a model.

answered Jun 2 at 21:24

foreveryoung
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In the case of zombie apocalypse, would you turn cannibal?

19 Answers