Picklepea - many commenters here have talked about energy balance, calories in minus calories out. Law of physics and chemistry being what they are, you won't lose unless this balance goes negative, this is true. But attempting to manange this head on pretty much never works, a t least never in the long run. Calories in and and calories out are both so much more slave to the complexities of your endocrine system than to any direct, conscious behavioral manipulation you might try on your own, such as counting calories, food logs, workout plans, etc.
Instead, manipulate things which will change the endocrine system functioning, and that will in turn bring the energy balance naturally to negative. From your comments it sounds like youve got real problems mainly with insulin, leptin and cortisol, and other stuff is not working right either. Your system is probably not responding properly to signalling of all these.
Commit to a disciplined eight week plan, disciplined in the sense of what you eat and when, but don't obsess about how much.
First, on the cortisol, you are definitely chronically over-stressed. Working six day weeks and working out four days, with only eight hours of sleep (even if it seems like good sleep) is more than enough stress to keep your system in emergency store fat mode. Cut out all workouts for now. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but you need to get your system back to a sate where it is willing and able to lose weight, and that means lower stress hormones and/or increased stress hormone sensitivity. This is how to do it.
Take plenty of long, easy walks, three or four miles each walk, three or four days a week, but no cardio or weights for a while. Turn off the computer, telly, and most electric lights as early as you can, and limit yourself to gentle social chatting or quiet contemplation after the dinner washing up is done, then get to bed early, and increase your eight hours sleep to at least nine. If this plan simply results in your waking earlier in the AM after eight hours, so be it, the stress benefits will still be there.
For food, First two weeks go stricly super low carb. Zero sugar (well, that's for life actually), zero fruit, zero grains, no starchy veg. Just protein and good fats, and plenty of low carb veg. No dairy either expect maybe butter and cream. Supplement well, esp Mg, D, and Omega 3 oil on days where you don't eat fish. The first few days of ketosis may bring some mild discomfort, but it will pass soon and you'll soon feel great. No need to focus on the quantities here, but you'll almost certainly quickly find your caloric intake drops naturally by the second week, with no hunger problems and no need to deliberately control portions. Drink plenty of water and don't bother with the scale. This will start improving your insulin sensitivity.
Follow this with six weeks of big, high protein breakfasts, at least 75 grams, more as soon as you get used to it. This mean plenty of eggs plus some meat/fish with enough good fats to make it palatable. You must eat this soon as you rise in the AM and must not skip a single day. Lunch will be optional, you won't be terribly hungry midday, but whatever, lunch and dinner stick to veg, a little meat/fish, good fats. A little bit more vegetable-type carbs anda little fruit can come back in now, but again, no grains or full starchy veg. And never sugar or grains. This will change the way you respond to leptin, which is the key to get the loss working and keep it working. Again, plenty of water, don't worry about the scale, you will be losing. Keep walking, no workouts.
After this you can drop the big protein breakfasts and GRADUALLY reintroduce a few more carbs, and one day a week of brief but intense weight training. One of your carb meals should be after this workout. Dairy can come back in now, but best to limit to cultured stuff, keefer or yogurt. Two or three days a week you can skip breakfast, but just have two or three Tbls of coconut oil or butter, and coffee or tea. This will keep you feeling energetic and not hungry, break your fast later, whenever you are hungry, which will probably be mid afternoon. Eat according to normal paleo guidelines, but a low carb-ish version, and try to keep the low stress plans and extra sleep at least halfway in place. If you gradually up the workout load, you can up the carbs commensurately, but best to do infrequent, intense weight training and plenty of long walks. Again, too much hard workout for you will bring stress hormone problems and will actually cause you to want to eat so much you start to gain again.
If you really follow this plan, you will lose all you want to, or most of it. (last five to ten pounds sometimes requires tougher measures for people who start with somedegree of metabolic confusion like I suspect you have.) If somehow this plan doesn't work, then you really have more profound metabolic issues, but this should work even if you have some problems; this will put most stuff right.
Good luck.
