My answer is usually honest, but sarcastic: "Because I'm a health freak and that stuff will kill you." And then I make some kind of ultra-serious face. They usually laugh and say something about me being crazy and that is that.

Luckily, I work in an office and not at home, so I only really see this kind of crap when I travel for my job and have to go to meals with the people that I am visiting.

Whenever I am offered something I don't want, I usually just say, "no thanks, I'm good" or something to that affect. What I tend to notice is that if I say "well no, I don't eat grains, legumes, or dairy", people get REALLY defensive and will say shit like "well what exactly is wrong with grains?!?!" as if I just told them their mother was a whore or something.

People get REALLY defensive when you imply that something that they are doing isn't good/correct/positive/etc. When you say "well I don't..." that implies "I am somehow better than you because I can refuse this garbage", which in a sense is true, but again... people get defensive.

Most of the time a simple refusal works, but when people really are adamant about pushing, you need to know your shit to explain to them why. I find that once I start breaking out the science, people usually back the hell off. It's really sort of absurd that people give other people a hard time about what they eat/don't eat. Ultimately, we should only be concerned about ourselves.

Dilbert has an answer...

This happened to me the other day..

My response: "I f@#king HATE cake! Gimme a godamn tequila shot and if we gona CELEBRATE!!!"

Personally I am a very open-minded person, but just a year ago before I found paleo if I had heard someone say something like "no thanks its junk food" or "I don't eat processed food" or "articifical blah" to avoid eating a communal food item, I would have almost certainly thought "what a weirdo health freak!" ... I think we need to remember just how benign most people think a slice of cake is, no different to eating a little extra at dinner or not exercising one day. I really try avoid looking like a health freak in all circumstances, it just isn't worth it in the long run when people bring it up or target you because of it (like ridiculing you infront of the whole office!).

Something that we tend to forget around here is that barring major health issues, a bit of grain and sugar now and again won't kill you. Sharing meals is an important act for human beings. And acting like stereotypical vegans ordering a tofurkey sandwich at the local steakhouse is just plain wrong.

So in the situation you describe, I'd have a small slice of the boss's cake and not get fussed. I'm not gluten intolerant, and my diabetes (mild type II) has been so brutally whipped by nine months of Paleo that I can eat a pint of Haagen-Daz and barely break into the double digits mmol/L (I tested this, and it wasn't as much fun as expected and I haven't been tempted since). So I don't worry about eating the odd bit of crap now and again if there's a good social reason (such as not offending valued friends who've prepared a meal for me, not giving my boss the impression that I'm some sort of foodloon, etc) for doing so.

Why sweat the occasional small thing?

I just tell em "you can't get a body like this eating crap like that".

Whenever I was offered non-paleo food, I took it and threw it on the ground!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/e4e2187156/andy-samberg-i-threw-it-on-the-ground

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND

"Gluten and sugar make me sick." Sometimes simple is the way to go.

(Heh, if they demand elaboration, give'em TMI. IBS, toxic neverending farting, the runs...whatever's relevant that you can describe to make them wish they hadn't asked.)

Also, you have the tiny risk that if you DON'T actually get super sick short-term and occasionally indulge only for the highest quality treats, they'll happen to run into you at a fancy restaurant doing, say, your once-quarterly "actually worthwhile" cheat (say, gourmet flourless chocolate cake in honor of a birthday...instead of your boss' store-bought trans fat hot mess) - say goodbye to your cred.

Thus my advice is to use this line only if you mean it.

In social situations like you stated it is part of social thing to partake in the food. By not doing so you are not a team player. LOL! ACK! I would not point out or begin to do a sermon on paleo eating. Typically you do not come across too well. :) People are there to enjoy their food and if you point out why is bad, regardless if they agree you can come across as trying to be superior or making better choices. It makes the situation awkward and uncomfortable. You are sure a party downer. <<---- Ask me how I know. LOL! hehhehhee

A few options - I like your gluten intolerance OR just allergy - don't be specific so you don't end up with some gluten free - sugar laden food later. :)

See if you can save a piece for later - state you are not hungry and you are taking a piece to eat later?? depending on circumstances and just toss out when you can??

Or do the pretend to eat some and push around your plate as stated. Really depends on your environment and situation.

Or really sneaky and walk over to help clean up and grab a plate with crumbs?? ROFL!

Ask for permission and and a promise That you will tell them how to eat for a day,

Most people will back off after being frightened by the idea of YOU being in control of their food, not them!

Turnaound is fair play, right?

I would recommend educating yourself on paleo principles enough so that you feel comfortable explaining to others what and why your doing what your doing. This may be difficult or incomfortable in many situations, especially with old friends or superiors who are used to or expect you to act in a certain way, but when you learn how to adapt your intellect to explain to them why your eating the way you are to them, they will respect you much more for it, and possibly take their health into their own hands. Rejoining others in dietary ignorance is always a fun temptation, which I occasionally fall for, but eating paleo on your on time whenever you can so that mentally and physically adapt to this natural way of eating, is possibly the best preparation. So, keep learning about paleo and doing paleo lifestyle things, and you eventually won't even have to confront naysayers, they'll be genuinely interested in what your doing and respectful of who you are, because they'll see the results firsthand in you. Hope thats helpful, and doesn't sound like an excerpt from a bad self-help book.

I try to avoid getting into the whole Paleo thing, unless I am with good friends. People get defensive about their food. Try saying you are in training. That's worked for me. Of course, you have to be ready to come up with something you are training for if they press -- a 10K, a marathon... whatever. But they usually seem to understand that. Since I am already in good shape, that seems to be the only excuse for not eating crap that gets a pass from the crowd.

Act as if...meanwhile use your Paleo Superpowers to hunt down the boss. You are to become Tribe leader. Start your own Tribe, set your own dietary rules. You are a fat burner, not a sugar burner. You can outlast them all. Do the things that will make you become the boss. Then...invite us all to the party. I will bring some ancestral fermented fruits and grains. Ugh.

"No thanks, I'm diabetic." (that actually works pretty well. but you need to really be one)

"I'm on a gluten-free diet."

"Do you have anything with a little less Spam in it?"

"Do you know how those doughnuts are made?"

"I'm fasting for Lent/Ramadan/Kwanzaa/Festivus."

"I'm kinda doing a cave-man thingy and those aren't allowed."

"I haven't evolved to eat that."

"OOH! Look at that!!" (and walk away)

I have similar issues all the time. I travel for work and everywhere I go people want me to eat with them. I usually get away with, "Thanks, but I brought my lunch." My answer was insufficient yesterday as the food being pushed was dessert. My follow-up excuse that, "I can't have sugar, grains, or dairy" only prompted more questions. I suppose I should have used that as an "in" to educate them, but in most of these situations all you really want to do is get rid of the pusher. I thought my final response that "I nearly died due to a metabolic disorder from eating that kind of food" would have made them feel awkward enough to let it go, but do you know that same person was pushing it on me again today?! My answer today was a little more sarcastic: "I might as well swallow arsenic."

I thought your answer was perfectly appropriate, but by leaving it at "a problem with gluten" your boss might make one of those atrocious "gluten-free" cakes next time!

People at work have noticed I lost weight, so a simple "No thanks" from me should do and I'll know they will understand.

"I have an eating disorder, can't eat that."

Seriously. People catch the sarcasm but don't want to follow up on it in case I'm not kidding. Works nicely!

Sorry,

I can't have any cake,

I'm saving room for steak!

Unless I feel like explaining more, a good excuse is just "Oh, I don't really like x." Or "I'm not hungry, maybe I'll get some later." And most people don't push the issue. Or they say, "More for me." And I just smile. Of course, if I feel like the situation is right, I'll just explain why and about eating Paleo.

If you don't want to have a sudden discussion of why you've decided to eat in ways perceived as strange, just accept a small serving and leave it in front of you as you chat away about whatever else. Keep your eyes on your companions, don't keep stealing looks at your plate. Occasionally use your fork to absentmindedly separate a small mouthful and then just play with it a little on the plate as you continue to chat. If you feel particularly cornered, pretend to take a bite, and wipe your mouth with your napkin to jettison the unwanted morsel. By the time the dishes are collected, no one will have noticed you didn't actually eat any of it, unless you made a big deal about it in the first place.

Yes, this is subterfuge, but sometimes that's the better part of valor in social situations.

I keep a list of excuses and use them depending on the situation. Often, you can start with one and if that doesn't work, then go to another one by saying 'Well actually..'

-No thanx, I'm already full/already ate. (a quickie way out that works on most polite Americans) WOrks well with statements like "Oh Man, I am SOOOOOOOO stuffed. COuldnt' eat another bite!"

-No thanx, I don't eat processed food anymore due to health problems.

-No thanx, I don't digest that kind of food well. It's not worth the repercussions.

-Sorry, my doctor/wife/girlfriend/trainer/nutritionist has me on a special diet and I better be good cuz she/he has psychic powers/might find out/going to see me tomorrow, etc. With this one, you can always roll your eyes and make out like you are suffering a bit.

It's been said several times so I'm just joining the chorus, I'll usually just say something along the lines of 'Too much wheat and sugar make me really sick," it makes it seem more like a condition of your physiology instead of your personal choice. If someone pushes the issue I'll tell them about being treated for ulcers and horribel stomach problems at 19 and 20 years old.... turns out my body doesn't like grains (gluten esp!). Funny how the doctors treating me for stomach stuff never thought to suggest I avoid one of the most common alergies out there....

I guess I'm less suseceptable to social pressures and feeling awkward so I just say "no" and then "no" again to every follow up. I quit explaining it because people don't care. Kurt Harris has a great post on this called "smoking candy cigarettes" on why just giving on to appease is a bad idea.

What's wrong with: 'I'm not hungry'

I'd say take a bite and put the rest away. One bite doesn't hurt much, and you can actually say "it tasted good". If you become very tempted to continue, smell it until you can't feel the smell anymore. Oddly enough it makes me feel like I kind of ate it, and when I can't smell it anymore, it's not there. The smell is ALWAYS better than the taste for those cheap manufactured things. It might smell chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon etc, but it always tastes of sugar only.

Cakes and the like have the strange effect on me that I somehow don't feel like I'm eating them and don't get satiated no matter how much I eat. So eating it and not eating it somehow makes no difference in terms of satiation.

If it's not too much social pressure and somebody just offers something on a regular day, I usually say that I ate too much sweets before and my body can't handle it now.