The past years I had these nostalgic feelings towards eating SAD: enjoying it, without having to worry about my sufferings afterwards (which were present, I just didn't know), etc....
And from time to time I fell of the Paleo wagon or whatever you want to call it. Maybe fell off isn't even the right description because sometimes I just stepped off wondering how it would taste after a whole30, etc...
The thing is, everytime I experimented my "binge foods" tasted good. Maybe a little to sugary at first but after a few big bites through the sweet apple I eased into it. But now? I try them and they taste awful. Out of curiosity (because this seriously conflicts with my memories) I try something else and more and more and more until I'm left with my huge nostalgic feeling of what they used to be and how I so enjoyed them.
This has also repeated itself a few times:
The first time eating pancakes → doesn't taste good at all → must be because I tried a chocolate bar first. Second time eating pancakes → doesn't taste good at all → must be because I actually wasn't hungry at all. Third time eating pancakes → doesn't taste good at all → must be because they were baked softer in the past
SERIOUSLY, who am I kidding?! It somehow doesn't get into my head. There is no room left because of that "It tasted good so it still tastes good, you're the issue"-feeling, nostalgia and my latest issue with cooking 3 times/day and doing the dishes + my studies + shopping + lousy neighbors +....
Anyhow, I've had enough of it (been there already a few times but now it's for real [cliché]) and will have to accept crap tastes like crap and the past is and will stay the past. Also these face breakouts are definitely not worth the "cheats", stand alone the other health issues. Good night.
