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Ok gang,

Impress me with your gluten free creativity and let's have a haiku competition.

The winner gets Kamal Patels voice on their home answering machine.

Again in case you forgot the haiku class in emelentary school, they go like this:

Haikus consist of three lines, consisting of five, seven and five syllables respectively.

Ex.

Haikus are easy,

Sometimes they do not make sense,

Refrigerator.

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2 
Will do anything/ for paleohacks up votes/ Except maybe that – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:01
1 
Don't forget that it's traditional to reference a season, and there's usually a juxtaposition of two images or ideas. – Casey May 24 at 4:13
9 
it is now late spring / Kent Cowgill please don't read this / Kent Cowgill read this. – Colin H May 24 at 4:22
2 
Love the refrigerator tag. – Kelly May 24 at 4:32
1 
Oh tasty morsel/ tell me not your nutrients/ I am only a beast/ -Alexander – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:40
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18 Answers

11

Is this Paleo? / if you have to ask me, well / the answer is no

Enjoy most whole foods / avoid grains, sugar, gluten / and get enough rest

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1 
Love these two! – Jean May 24 at 8:38
2 
Paleo haiku?/Poems are neolithic!/Time to drive home now. – PaleoVenus May 25 at 2:28
10

cinnamon, sugar / toasted white bread, margarine / falling health, like leaves

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2 
Hello! It's a nightshade/ how local is it really?/ Drown it in butter – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:56
10

You can keep your bread
Gimme some bacon instead
Is that beef grass-fed?

And mine rhymes too saywhutttt

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any grass-finished beef?/ should cod liver be fermented?/ is it hyper-palatable? – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 5:01
9

Do not Overlook / the Elephant in the Room / Orthorexia

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1 
Very smart answer/ It's unfortunately true/ are starches really safe? – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 3:41
beef and brocolli/ it is the sweetest form of/ orthorexia - Alfredo – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:50
9

Paleohacks is
Community based around
Mostly poop questions

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1 
LOLOLOLOL....sigh. – PaleoVenus May 24 at 17:01
2 
Paleohacks newbie, I am. Talk like Yoda, I do. Give now, me votes please. – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 17:36
8

You say I only

hear what I want to. You say

I act so Dr. Oz

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1 
.....so . – Kamal May 24 at 4:17
2 
too many syllables. haiku fail :( – Kamal May 24 at 4:17
2 
But now we know you're a Lisa Loeb fan. – April S. May 24 at 4:21
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Turn frown upside down/ Cause we still love you Kamal/ Sorry we hacked your balls – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:22
3 
LOLOL. omigod i'm rolling. I dunno if i should keep reading, i might hurt something. – PaleoVenus May 24 at 17:03
7

Feeling amazing / Likely the lamb tongue and eggs / Kashi: dead to me.

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2 
It's soy paleo!/ said Kamal on Facebook today/ Paleo gurus not impressed – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 3:47
1 
Kashi: dead to me. AHAHAHAHHAHHA. yes, there was a time I thought that was the perfect food. sigh. – PaleoVenus May 24 at 17:00
7

There once was a gal from Schmitting

Who ate a whole cow in one sitting

Liver, brains, pancreas too

Until erupted a startling moo

Not to mention the hooves she was...


Oh, sorry. Wrong form!

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2 
A Burrito please/ but without the wrap. No beans./ Thanks, no chips either – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:59
7

This should be simple
Expansion begets strangeness
A tub full of ice

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1 
I don't understand/Is this a reference to Kruse?/It needs ellipses... – PaleoVenus May 25 at 2:40
5

Zombie Utopic- / Lo! Hordes of Free-Range Humans! / Lovely Juicy Brains

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1 
Mmmmmm..... Braaaaains/ muuust eeeat arrrre deliiiiiiciiiioooous / PaleoApproved? Pendergrass!!! – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 3:57
5

Over Thanksgiving

Politics and religion

Just don't bring up food

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4

They say eat whole grains,

and shun saturated fat.

We just Eat Real Food.

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1 
Um, is this grass-fed? / Add gelatin to your tea/ start drinking bone broth – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:54
3

disclaimers aside / Harris, Guyenet, Sisson / are names of Gurus.

not very funny, I'll do better...

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4 
Harry Truman, Doris Day / Red China Johnny Ray / Kruse didn't start the fire – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 3:36
3

1 2 3 4 5 / 1 2 3 4 5 6 8 / unhappy 7...

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3 
Kerry Gold Butter, Checking my poop for ketones, Let's Call It A Day. - Thomas Seay – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 4:46
1 
hahaha! nice one. – Colin H May 24 at 5:20
3

Paleo hacks is / bad for newbs to the lifestyle / it complicates things

Paleo has yet / to make me look or feel good / I hope it does soon

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4 
You should get a book / You can follow that book too / Come back in a year. – Joshua May 24 at 12:23
1 
^ i.e. I think that newbs are better off getting a book from one guru, following it, then using the "hacks" here to augment after they have the basics. – Joshua May 24 at 12:24
1 
good idea you guys / I will try mark sisson first / and see how i go – HuntingBears May 24 at 16:37
mark sisson! great start!/cordain was my start and then/Mark said fat's okay! – PaleoVenus May 24 at 17:05
6 
Still love Mark Sisson / He popped my primal cherry / Now: paleo slut. – Annika May 24 at 21:38
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3

A good source of fat? / Avocados are divine. / Protein? Wild salmon.

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3

grass-fed rib eye steak/ keeps my waste very tiny/ with bodacious cheeks ;)

Marilyn Monroe/ The best modern cave woman?/ she loved to eat meat

body comp is great/ but health is more important/ I feel amazing

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2 
"Vegetarian", is Native American, word for "bad hunter". – ThinnerStrength May 24 at 22:09
3

I am wide awake

After I eat my lunch now

No more food coma!

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