The point is not to emulate a paleolithic diet. The point is to live as healthy as possible. The things you are citing: caffeine, nuts, seeds, dairy, and high-GI fruits are not counted by many as being "paleo" or healthy for you in large quantities, for various reasons. These things, in a strict "paleo" sense, can be consumed in very small quantities, but not daily. There have been many arguments for and against each of these. I suggest you research each of thse individually and make up your own mind as to whether or not they are something you want to eat. No one is a fascist dictator here. We are a "cheer-ocracy". Do what you want. If it works for you, keep on keeping on.

Beating a dead horse isn't paleo either. But it's still done. This has been visited ad nauseum here but just for a recap....

Alcohol - Is not paleo, but is one of the "cheats of choice" for many people that follow a paleo diet.

Coffee - See above.

Nuts - Edible species of nuts have been eaten all over the world by hominids well before agriculture existed. We simply eat the ones that are available today. Many people restrict them, but they are far from being a "neolithic" food.

Dairy - Paleo with Dairy is Primal, which doesn't focus on reenactment.

Veggies and Fruits in high quantities - That really depends on what region of the world you lived in. Tropical areas would have had considerably more fruit (and sweet fruit, at that) than we have access to, as well as edible starches.

Humans adapt to many environments, and primitive human food was directly related to their environment. Some may have only eaten seasonal fruits and veggies, but some could have lived in warmer climes where different fruits and veggies were available year-round.

Here in Florida, I pick and eat wild oranges in November, wild strawberries and blackberries from December - March, and pretty much any vegetable I want for the rest of the year. I've walked out of the woods quite a few times with a duffel bag full of non-animal food.

In short - the Paleo world you are envisioning is quite small. Open it up a little.

Because booze, nuts, veggies, coffee and seeds are tasty.

First and foremost: Paleo is not reenactment.

Onto specifics:

• Alcohol - as much as folks like to gripe about toxins and antinutrients, people give ethanol a pass all too often. Certainly, more modern examples show the benefit of alcohol (i.e. beer/wine is safer than water for drinking).
• Nuts/Seeds - Again, it comes back to toxins and antinutrients (and O6). O6 is not bad, toxic, or otherwise. It's a nutrient we need it, it's just rather easy to obtain and easy too obtain too much. Humans have been processing food for a long time, more and more evidence that we've been cooking and processing foods earlier and earlier. Cooking mitigates these toxins and antinutrients. Seasonality plays a part, but at least in terms of nuts, they store really well.
• Dairy - One food that there's some evidence that some folks have adapted/evolved to consume (i.e. continued lactase production into adulthood).
• Veggies and fruits - Seasonality, so what? Eat seasonally. Many veggies store quite well into winter. Though not things like tomatoes; think roots, cabbages, etc... Wild veggies/fruits are different than modern cultivars, but think about what people forage from the wild: greens, mushrooms, berries, etc... hardly no options. You can't imagine eating non-enhanced veggies/fruits, but folks did so for generations.

I have seen wild hazelnuts in nature. They are only available for a very limited period of the time, like for two-three weeks. They are in abundance and... then they are gone.

Thank you for your question because I have been asking this question myself many many times. I also loved the way you worded it. I think you are quite talented with words.

So, here is my answer:

We as species designed (by evolution) to eat a wide variety of food.

It is important (if not crucial) to eat natural foods (the way that mother nature intended) and allow limited processing like our ancestors (cooking, extracting from shells, etc).

Even neolithic foods (like grain, milk, beer, mead) could be consumed in small amounts and not on a regular basis under the conditions they are minimally processed and organic.

Of course, strict Paleo is always the best but, considering our circumstances (21 century), even that is healthier than SAD.

Chinese eat everything or almost everything. People in Siberia eat choke cherry berries and grind their seeds, and the seeds contain cyanide. There were some deaths from cyanide poisoning. However, it has not deterred humanity. What does not kill us, makes us survive.

Acorns were a staple food of California Indians. They required grinding and leaching to remove tanic acid. This could be accomplished with stones and very tightly woven baskets. Paleolithic peoples were likely able to accomplish a similar level of processing.

You're right. These things are low-carb, but not Paleo.

If you don't want to eat or consume those things, then you don't have to. If others want to, let them.