This such as common issue, not only with diet and exercise, but even in business. I see it almost everyday. Someone asks someone for advice or information, the person gives the information and then the receiver argues or tells the person all the reasons it won't work. Watch for it, you will see it everywhere.

If you don't want to help her, just don't answer her questions and leave it at that.

If you do want to help, it's going to take some guts. When she argues with you you have to point out to her in the gentlest way possible what is doing - arguing.

It might go like this

Her: Tell me again why grains are bad?

You: Well lots of reasons, {insert your answer here}. they cause inflammation, leaky gut etc etc -

Her: But that can't be healthy, people need crabs and fiber

You: {As nice as possible, don't make her wrong} Here is the thing - you asked me what I was doing that was working, and I told you, but now you are arguing with me. I can't help you if you argue.

Her: I'm not arguing

You: You just did it again.

The main point is to stay out of the argument. Just be as compassionate as possible, if you can't take it anymore, which is totally understandable, just buy her a book and move on.

She will do something about her situation when she is ready and not a minute sooner.

She's already asked you what you're doing. She already knows. She sees the results you're getting. And she's decided to dismiss it anyway.

So be it, then.

If she's going to be convinced, it will be by your results over time. A month really isn't enough--any chronic dieter is familiar with losing weight in the first month on a new diet, only to have everything go to hell right after that. Dismissing what you're doing is probably her way of avoiding another disappointment--if she doesn't do paleo because it's "unhealthy," she can't fail at it.

But a year from now, when you've lost more weight and have kept it off and you're starting to show long-term, sustainable results? She might come around then.

Until then, I wouldn't bother arguing with her. Sometimes, defending reality is just an exercise in futility that only annoys you while failing to convince the other person. Next time she asks, just say, "I already told you what I'm doing, but you've already written it off as unhealthy. If you're curious, I'll send you some links to articles so you can read for yourself why this works and is actually healthy. But I don't want to argue about it, or try discussing it with someone who isn't interested."

And if she's willing to read up on it and understand it better, go ahead and email her links to articles, or to MDA. But save your own breath until she's finally ready for it.

I have learned not everyone listens even if they ask questions and seem curious. Just evince the change that you have made and when you get blood work done, show it to her. Tell her that once you realize that once you let go of the conventional dogma the changes that seem unhealthy really are healthy.

Just ... do your thing. She'll eventually believe you :) Or start printing studies of everything you say, make a book out of it and every time you claim something take the book out of your bag, and show her a relevant study. Seriously I love doing that. I win all discussions :D

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

I am going to tell you what works for me EVERY TIME (by the way, my mother-in-law loved me more than she loved her own son).

1. Show her how much you love her. Give her flowers every time you visit, ask her what to buy for her for Christmas, arrange getting together for Thanksgiving, ask her how her health is every time you talk on the phone. Call her once in a while and tell her how much you miss her and what a wonderful mother-in-law she is. Ask her questions about her life and other things.

2. Every time she says something utterly stupid (like all mother-in-laws) - don't object. Just say, "Really?" Then smile and talk about something else, something that she likes.

3. If she ever talks to you about your diet, just say that grains bother your stomach and processed foods make you very sick (insert some gruesome details). Don't go into "Paleo is the best diet" mode - you are not a preacher and she is not your audience.

If you do #1 and 2, she will love you forever. The scary part of it is that she will love you so much, she will probably want to be your friend. When people accept others, they do not accept them for what they eat or what they believe in - they accept them for making them feel good. If you like someone, that person will have to like you back. It is biological and it works every time.

Any advice on dealing with her? Answer: don't deal with her.

Some people are better shown the way. Keep doing what you're doing, lose the weight, and she'll have seen that you're in the best shape of your life, optimum weight for body frame, and both mentally and physically healthy. Time will win this battle for you.

PS - Monster-in-laws were meant to make you're life a pain in the ass. Pull it together!

Hope the advice helps and keep it up!

Diets don't work. Your MIL, like many obese people have been on every diet that exists…they might lose weight initially but it's often by losing what little muscle mass they have left along with some fat and water weight. Then they go "off" the diet and gain the weight back without building muscle…so in essence, the diet made them "fatter" by way of body fat percentage.

Paleo is not a diet, it's a way of life that is easily sustainable.

Her parents probably ate a diet very close to Paleo and depending on how old she is, she may have as a child.

Yes, it goes against conventional wisdom but there is plenty of evidence to support a paleo diet and if she's really interested, she'll look for it.

We are sold a bill of goods with all of these magic "diets" floating around…for some people paleo is just too simple to make sense.

The absolute best thing you can do in this situation (and this works for virtually every situation) is to become extremely educated on the subject.

What leads to arguments is:

"Saturated fat is clogging your arteries!" "No it is not!" "My doctor told me to avoid saturated fat." "Well, your doctor is wrong. I think sat. fat is good for me"

On, and on and on........

What works much better is actually supplying the person with information and the ability to draw their own conclusion. so it goes more like this:

"Saturated fat is clogging your arteries!" "You know I always thought that too but have you seen the new study from the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition? In a study of 350,000 people they found no link between saturated fat intake and and CVD. I'll send you the link so you can look at it."

It is hard to argue with that.

Two ideas:

1. A shorter version of what MattG said: Next time she asks you about it, tell you you already answered that, but she didn't like the answer! Or,
2. Talk it out with your Significant Other. Present your favorite of the answers you get here, and see which one(s) they think will work best.

Stop talking about it. Really. Why pick a fight? Thank her for caring about your health and move on. She has the info she needs now, if she wants to go out, do her reading, and have her own epiphany.

I would avoid the topic. Be as polite as possible when you tell her that you've already hashed this over and let your results speak for themselves.

My advice: give her a book and then drop it.

A book is less threatening than a conversation because when you're reading a book you don't have to worry about saving face. People don't like being proven wrong: face-to-face it's humiliating. The knee-jerk reaction is to argue to save face for yourself, to make yourself look knowledgeable and not like some ill-informed idiot. But with a book, you don't have to worry about what the other person thinks of you, since there is no other person. It's easier to put your ego aside and really think over the argument. And then it gives you time to fight past that knee-jerk reaction before you talk to another person.

It might not work, but it's worth a try.

I wouldn't argue with her. Just give her a list of sites to read. She can write them and argue.

Don't talk to her.

I would recommend to tell her to try it for just one week...just one! My very scientific boyfriend was a vegeterian (sometimes ate fish) when I first met him, and he thought my paleo autoimmune diet was bizarre, unhealthy, and against all the articles he read. But, because I was part of the Loren Cordain autoimmune study, he began preparing some of the paleo foods for me since he loves to cook. After awhile, he began eating some of the food. He found it all incredibly delicious though felt guilty for eating so much meat.

He soon noticed how good he was feeling and that his anxiety levels had dropped. After a couple months, he quit more SAD foods (grains, ice cream sandwiches, nightly cereal, etc.). He kept worrying that his next bloodwork check was going to be awful, but he was stunned when all his levels had radically improved. He was also so amazed at how he could eat tons and tons of food and he continued to lose weight easily. He had gained a lot of weight going vegetarian.

So, he's now an avid paleo preacher. He's lost over 30 lbs, and he recently told me how thankful he is that I shared my weird diet. He said, "I thought I was going to be like my father and probably only have 10 years left." (His father died young of a heart attack.) He has such a renewed zest back, and he's excited about the future.

And yes, he even eats the egg yolks now! Oh, how he looked at me like the devil when I first fought for the humble egg yolk! :)

You can't reason with someone who didn't reason themselves into thinking a certain way.

That being said, point her to MDA. I think he's pretty non-threatening and informative without being too overwhelming.