Little history first:
My weight has always been fluctuating. But it always averaged around 110-120lbs (5ft, female). Last summer, my eating disorders got worse and I got down to 105 lbs with low cal (700-1000 cal), low fat and a lot of cardio. Then, I started on Atkins and then moved on to Paleo last October. Since then, I stopped weighing myself and just focused on eating the right foods until point of satiety. Not weighing myself or counting calories really helped me control my disordered eating. Eating Paleo really helped me with my mood and energy. I started feeling better in general. For the last 9 months, I ate mostly Paleo with dairy and nuts with 16-20 hour intermittent fasting. I ate mostly green vegetables, meat and fish. I didn't eat tubers or fruit. With the exception of 4-5 weeks total in the period of 9 month, I did not cheat. When I cheated, I consumed ice-cream, chips, beer, pizza.... etc.
Here is when/what I eat:
Feeding window 4PM-8PM; Intermittent Fasting 8PM-4PM
1) One big salad with leafy greens, tomato, sometimes with cheese and/or olive oil
2) Meat--depending on what is available: 2-3 fish fillets, half of a grilled whole chicken, 4-5 eggs, three beef patties, OR 1.5 lb ground beef (I choose only ONE of these options)
3) more vegetables like asparagus, zuccini, carrots... *sometimes I overdo cheese and nuts. But I don't eat them ALL the time. I think I eat them like for one week every month.
Lately, I noticed that my clothes don't fit anymore. So I weighed myself for the first time in about 9 months, and I was really shocked. I now weigh 131.4 lbs. I think this is the highest I've ever weighed. I am heavier than when I ate SAD. With my height at 5ft, that makes me overweight (BMI 25.7).
I went on Paleo, thinking that as long as I ate the right foods, I would be able to maintain healthy weight. So I threw away my bathroom scale, stopped counting calories and hoped that I would be able to control my disordered eating patterns... I am afraid of counting calories and weighing myself. I am afriad that it will trigger my disorders.
Okay, I fell off the Paleo wagon at times. But I just don't get why I am heavier than ever. I wasn't looking to lose weight on Paleo, but I didn't think it would cause a dramatic weight gain either.
So the "all or nothing mentality" fueled my disorder all along. I used to restrict calories severely and then binge. I guess I turned intermittent fasting into some sort of built in starvation and binge in daily life...That's why I could have my ED tendencies under control. But even when I fast for 20 hours, I don't have the obessesive thoughts about food like I did during my ED days. Also, when I start eating, it's not uncontrollable mindless eating beyond satiety (binge-like). I stop eating when I am full.
Anyways, I see for the first time that my IF schedule is a little extreme...though I feel fine on it. I am going to eat strict Paleo (no dairy or nuts). I am going to try to eat a breakfast from now and see how that goes... I don't do well on small frequent meals because of my "all or nothing" attitude...
Thanks for all your answers!