Last year around Christmas I went paleo and lost about 50 pounds and I was the leanest I've ever been in my life and loving it at 135--my lowest weight! Except for a glitch where I was hospitalized with sepsis in May of that year I felt pretty damn good! October of this year I found out I was pregnant and due to people telling me I could no longer eat paleo I panicked and went back to SAD. Unfortunately things were not to be and I miscarried, at the point I was holding at 165 (having gained 10 pounds before I even missed my period---I put on weight like its crazy). Following that month it was a crazy tailspin of moving, my mother (who's had longstanding cardiac issues) being hospitalized and attempting suicide in early March-ish. I've been on and off anti-depressants however am now going back to my instincts of healing with food and time.
At this point I've gotten back on the paleo wagon but it feels like it just won't come off anymore. I'm about a month in and holding 178 (down from 182 or so) no matter what I do.
I'm 4 '11, 21, female and have a physical disability, so my previous run at paleo consisted of me using only food changes untill I got down to about 160 or so---otherwise I just cant physically manage any sort of exercise.
I've tried IF, low-carb/high fat, medium carb/low fat, it just seems it does NOT want to come off. Trying to move around my joints ache, I've got almost permanent lactic acid in my muscles (OUCH!) and I sometimes feel dizzy and tired. My face/body are a mess of acne I havent seen in years and I swear I could sleep/cry about 16 hours a day left to my own devices and some days just housework is a stretch. I wake up most days with nausea or heartburn and YET---all my blood tests are normal.
On one hand in my life right now, if I want to go out with my friends and eat sushi or pizza till I puke it does my mind good. On the second, I am thoroughly disgusted and ashamed of my own body now and depressed that none of my clothes fit. I know what its like to feel thin and look good and feel good and such. I just, I feel frustrated, deprived and cut off when I'm drinking a glass of fruit smoothie for breakfast, a very lean salad with only romaine/cucumbers/mushrooms and some tuna with balsamic dressing for lunch and a piece of meat with broccoli for supper. I can't even predict what my own body wants anymore---some days a low-fat/med carb does wonders and meat makes me feel sluggish, other days I lose my mind with hunger for carbs, other days I pig out on protein and eat way more than I should and poof the weight drops. So then I think thats the key, keep at it and then dammit I gain weight.
I need some guidance, I dunno what to do anymore.