I agree... get the crockpot. Get the cheapest you can find -- you might not be able to program it, but hey.
Back in grad school, my diet was hot dogs and pasta. I actually considered writing a cookbook entitled "101 Ways of Cooking Hotdogs" at the time. This wasn't healthy by ANY nutritional idea out there, but fortunately this period didn't last so long, about a year and a half (with a cafeteria food plan for weekdays at lunch).
Suggestions: the eggs are a great idea. Not sure how to cook them in a crock pot or a microwave, but there must be some notion out there. (NOT whole!) Cabbage for sure, what a dense and long-lasting veggie! Romaine lettuce lasts longer than any other type in my experience. If a local grocery sells chicken giblets (liver, hearts, gizzards), go for it. The latter two items are really quite excellent -- chop them up if you put them in the nuker. The whole chicken is more affordable than parts ... and you can save the cartilage and bones for nutritious soup or stock.
Do you have a south-facing window that gets good sunlight? Try growing a few short term crops on your window sill. Spinach, or even herbs.
As was noted, food stamps and food banks may also be an option.
Hope this begins to help.