First pregnancy I followed all the rules, and then with the second, all I've wanted is what is on the forbidden list, so I did some research and have come to the conclusion that much of what we are told is waaaay overblown.
If you are eating pastured steaks, you don't have to cook them all the way through, just make sure the outside is sufficiently seared to kill any cooties that may have accumulated during processing. A well done steak makes me gag because of an enhanced gag reflex during pregnancy, but one cooked perfectly rare or medium-rare I have found to still be palatable.
Many aged cheeses are now pasteurized, so the listeria threat is greatly diminished, you just have to check the ingredients list. With fresh raw milk, the threat of running into anything nasty with it is far less than getting in a car accident, and I haven't seen any suggestions that pregnant women shouldn't ride in automobiles.
If the regulations about sushi are the same in the UK as they are in the US that fish has gone into a deep freeze for 2 weeks, killing any potential parasites. There is an eensy-weensy risk of listeria if it sits around raw for too long, but not enough that I stopped eating it with this pregnancy (don't buy sushi on Wednesday in Japan, you can check when your local restaurant gets its shipment, and plan accordingly).
Caesar salad was one of the only things that consistently sounded good to me in the first few months of being pregnant, so I just started making it at home from scratch, raw egg and all. Salmonella poisoning is supposedly no different in pregnant women than in non-pregnant women, and shouldn't threaten a pregnancy, and the chance of being exposed to it even with commercial eggs is less than 1 in 10,000 eggs. I've also been thinking that the amount of lemon juice and vinegar in the dressing should be anti-bacterial, and make the dressing safer than say raw yolks in a smoothie.
I can't stand cooking smells in the first 3-4 months of pregnancy either, so deli meat has made a common appearance on my plate. Again this is on the forbidden list because of listeria fears, but I just stick to high quality versions. If you are feeling paranoid you can nuke it for 10 seconds.
I understand the ambivalence thing too. It is well within the range of normal and healthy feelings, it is a life changing rite of passage. Whenever people start asking about how happy I must be, my response usually is, "I will be once the (nausea/swelling/shortness of breath/etc. is over)". I love the middle of pregnancy, the first part you just have to survive, and that is usually when you are telling people, and the last part is when strangers keep trying to feel up your belly like it is community property. Hang in there. There are some cool parts of pregnancy, but I have found it to be far more sentimental and precious to those not actually doing the gestating.