I'm backing this contest with a whopping 50 of my own reputation points (plus 50 matching points). This contest is not sanctioned by PaleoHacks. The moderator may remove this post without warning. How it works:
Write your best poetry or verse about any paleo-related subject. You do NOT have to "pitch" paleo, as in the "elevator pitch" thread: http://paleohacks.com/questions/1665/the-best-paleo-elevator-pitch
You can use any style or format you wish--haiku, limerick, free verse, blank verse, rap, etc. Please announce if you're using a specific format so we can tell how well you fit the format (eg. haiku).
You can be as funny or serious as you wish.
Keep it brief--this is Hack Poetry after all. There is no minimum length. Maximum length shall be English sonnet length (14 lines).
Vote up your favorites!
After 2 days, I will add the bounty. Six days later, I will select the entry with the most votes as the winner. In the event of a tie, the earlier-posted answer will be the winner. I will not judge the answers. Also, I can submit entries, but I'm not eligible for the bounty.
The winner gets all the reputation points from votes received, plus 100 bonus points, plus bragging rights.
Deadline: about 8 days from the date of this post.
Enter as often as you like.
Edit, 3/16/2010, 11PM Eastern: Anna's expressive acumen has proven formidable so far. Surely we have some more paleo poets here in the hack-o-sphere! Plenty of time--deadline is in 6 days.
Edit, 3/21/2010, 9:45AM Eastern: Reminder--get your poems and votes in. The bounty will be awarded Monday evening, 3/22/2010.
Edit, 3/22/2010: Congratulations to Anna, who has taken first place and the 100 reputation points bounty--well done Anna! Thank you to all who participated--poets, voters and readers.
I was a product SAD but true
Of things you really shouldn't do.
Mistakenly I ate whole grain
And felt my health go down the drain.
The fat I ate was not enough-
I started to feel really rough.
I skipped the fruit and drank the juice,
But over time I learned the truth
That I'd been fed a pile of shit-
(I'm still not really over it!).
I'm now eating grass-fed meat,
And not really anything too sweet.
Over time my hurts will heal,
Paleo chow is food that's real!
Mounds of sugar, Piles of starch
Unable to resist the golden arch
Insulin spiking, Pancreas scream
Sugar rising in the stream
Discover Grok and his way of life
Convince myself and then my wife
Fat and meat are now the treat
That we and our child love to eat
Skip the sugar, pass on the grains
Say goodbye to all the pains
Go out lifting heavy stuff
To get a body that is buff.
Drink only water when you're parched,
Hope kids are fully dental arched.
Eat your kidney, heart and liver
Even though it makes you quiver.
Learn your scientific reasons
For what to eat in certain seasons.
Get some sun without being screened
And watch what kids eat when they're weaned.
Don't stuff yourself three times a day,
And leave yourself some time to play.
These words won't make you super wealthy
But sure as fate they'll get you healthy!
Finally a limerick.
There once was a fellow so large
That he had to travel by barge.
He quit eating wheat
And ate more fat and meat
Now his meds cost is at 'no charge'.
There was a man from 3 million years ago,
who said, "You're eating grains? No, no!
Fructose, glutens, and industrial oils will kill you,
so eat real food, like your genes tell you to do!"
Burgers nestled in lettuce bun,
Butter sauce on meat does run,
Nix the cake, don't eat the toffee,
Just give me whipped cream in my coffee!
Sprint up the stairs and 'cross the field-
Just feel the power meat can yield!
No sugar lows can touch me ever-
This Paleo diet's really clever.