WHY AREN'T YOU DOING EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN?

Tell him: It's because, deep down, I'd feel bad for you if we were divorced.

It sounds to me like although he claims to be "on board", he's not being supportive of you...Some people can make a life change like this overnight, others need to transition...You need to make this process work for you, and if transitioning gradually is what you need to do to succeed, he needs to support you in that...

@ Greymouser...Excellent answer :-)

All marriages are different and only you know what'll work with your hubby. When my husband talks to me in a way that I cannot deal with I tell him that "he has to stop communicating in that way because I feel _____ when he talks to me this way." We've been married a long time and he now gets that he has to listen to this. It took some good counseling before we both learned how to talk so the other would listen, however.

Prochaska wrote about different stages that people go through in health behavior change (http://www.amazon.com/Changing-Good-Revolutionary-Overcoming-Positively/dp/038072572X) and we all deal with changing our health behaviors (any behavior, really) differently. So no one can tell YOU the best way to change YOUR behavior. That's for you to discern based on what works for YOU. But their are some general things that often work. Here are some I personally think work well (YMMV):

http://tinyhabits.com/ http://www.behaviormodel.org/

Try to remember that people are generally doing as well as they can.

Perfection is not attainable. Tell him that you love him very much, but he makes you feel bad. Ask him for his support - tell him that you just need to take it easy right now, you are trying to start over. Just use a lot of positive comments, yet express your feelings so he knows it bothers you. Good luck! I know you will do well!

So about that baking business you didn't ask about...

At the last two small scale bakers I encountered and asked about the ingredients the first looked at me like I'd asked for a kidney and said she didn't recall the exact ingredients and the other told me it was a proprietary secret.

I doubt I'm the only one out there who doesn't buy things without looking at the ingredients first.

Paleo and SAD (calorie restricted) diets are based on two completely different theories of what mechanisms cause you to lose weight--and the theories are incompatible with each other.

The theory underlying paleo weight loss is that your body has a mechanism for maintaining a specific body-weight/body-fat level; that things like calorie-restriction, high-carb intake, restrictions on fat intake, and (yes even) over exercise "break" this mechanism; that the reason people are overweight is because this mechanism is broken; and that your first goal should be repairing this mechanism so it works properly.

SAD diets are built around the idea that your body is always trying to store more fat. So, you have to "fight" your body by restricting calories and burning off excess calories with exercise. It's a constant struggle between your mental desire to maintain a certain weight, and your body's desire to become obese.

Paleo views excess body fat as a symptom of your physical body abnormally functioning.

SAD views excess body fat as your physical body functioning normally; it is simply a result of gluttony and lack of discipline--a mental problem.

Your husband doesn't understand that paleo is a system with it's own set of rules, and that it only works if you stick to the rules for that system. You husband is trying to mix the rules of two different systems (which never works).

You need a common framework for discussion. Get Taubes' "Why We Get Fat" and read it out loud topgether or watch "Fat Head" together (or do both). While not strictly paleo, they do a good job of explaining the differences between the SAD diet mindset and the low-carb mindset.

You might pick one food such as vanilla ice cream and go 100% paleo with vanilla ice cream...