I just don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. It seems like everything I do is void. I have been dieting for as long as I can remember. I'm 20 years old and have done this paleo thing for 4,5 years now. Even today, EVERYTHING causes acne. I did elimination a while ago, and I was down to just beef and water, and I was still getting acne daily. The more I added back to my diet, the more acne I got. Fruit causes acne, vegetable causes acne, meat causes acne, literally everything else does too. The worst is fruit because it also flares up gout. Being strict 24/7 didn't do jackshit. Reaching 100%+ in the all the RDA didn't do jackshit. Elimination didn't do jackshit. Probably spent at least 1000 bucks on supplements alone in the past couple of years, and guess what, they didn't do jackshit either.
Not to mention now my health keeps on deteriorating day by day. Hair is falling out and thinning, dandruff is getting worse, dermatitis-like itchy dry flaky skin all over my entire body, gum recession, keratosis pilaris has spread to my forearms and stomach now covering my entire arms and legs and back, constantly peeling dry lips, zero motivation to do anything, you fucking name it. I went to see doctor, which I knew I was going to regret, and all he said was "oh you have acne? Here put some BP on. Oh you have dandruff? Wash with this shampoo. Put some hydrocortisone cream on. Yeah, put some lotion on. Take some antibiotics..." FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT! The money in my wallet, that's the only thing they care about.
Everything I did, all the money I spent and all the time I devoted into making things better are just that, wasted. All the things I have done for the past 7 years are one step forward, but three steps back. I came to a realization. I'm still at square one after so long, except now I have a ton of extra problems to deal with. I had been maintaining an optimistic and enthusiastic approach for all these 7 years, painting this illusion of a world for myself to live in, but the reality is, the situation now is way worse than when I first started, there's no two ways about it. Nothing improved and other things got worse. I am completely lost. I'm getting older. My high school years were a blank. I didn't make a single friend in the past many years. I'm considering dropping out of college now, since staying at home really helps calm my mind. I don't know what else I can do.
