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There's one in every classroom, it seems. The kid with an unfortunate smell of pickle loaf or salami. Oddly, the kid in question is mostly vegetarian according to his mother. I suggested feeding him megadoses of salami, in accordance with William's Law (TM) which is to doeth that which is the opposite of what you should expect. This advice met with resistance. She is not a fan of lunchmeat. For that matter meat in general.

Anyone have a diagnosis (other than "Lunch Meat Olfactory Extrusion Syndrome," which does not appear in my latest Merck Manual), home remedy, and/or advice?

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Check his pockets? – Diane Oct 12 at 17:55
I have noticed these salami stinkers, what's up with this? Oh wise paleometrists, what metabolic process exudes the same chemistry as a hard stick of cured meat? – ccorradino Oct 12 at 23:14

4 Answers

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This is your evolutionary sense of finding the weakest in the herd (obviously the vegetarian). You subconsciously want to eat the child/cull the herd, so they smell like delicious, delicious lunch meat.

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Ahhahaha. This makes me laugh so hard because I put salami and cheese slices in my kids lunches at least 3 times a week. I'm sure they smell like salami.

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ROFL! Seriously though, the kid probably has an overgrowth of bacteria on his skin.

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I have smelt the same phenomenon with a few adults. Drinking alcoholics mostly, so this doesn't say much about grade-school kids.

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