I go with what my body wants. I have noticed that the signs of hunger are much different than they used to be before I went primal. Instead of hunger pangs, I just start to feel slow and a little tired. I don't feel as mentally sharp either. So, the danger is that hunger can make me feel so dumb and indecisive that I can't figure out what to eat. :P

I'd say just find an amount of food that you know has you still losing fat, about 500 calories below baseline, and just eat at that amount, whether you're hungry or not. I sometimes have absolutely no appetite, probably partially because I eat very low-carb paleo.

I've been leaning out recently, while gaining strength, and this approach has worked great for me. I also have been eating a pretty low carb diet most of the time, occasionally throwing some sweet potatoes into my post-workout meal.

Also, putting your largest meal, +40% of your calories, immediately after training can help your recovery, preferentially shuttling nutrients into muscles. I've found that that this has been working quite well, and considering the fact that I'm already pretty lean(~8-9% BF) and a pretty high level CrossFit athlete, the fact that I've been leaning out WHILE gaining strength is a good indicator I'm in the right place. You'll have to tinker with it and find out where you're perfect area lies in terms of energy intake.

Are you eating more paleo now? You don't say. I've noticed my hunger pangs faded a lot when I eat more protein/fat. Example, I have a 2 egg + cheese+ avocado/turkey/ham/or bacon omelette at 8am and am not hungry till 2pm or so. When I ate cereal at 8am, I'd be starving at 11-11:30. This is without fasting though, so not sure how that part is affecting you.

In terms of calories, I ran into the same concerns as you (and did see my lifts dropping + my weight not dropping). I ended up spending a week tracking my calories eaten to make sure I was in the expected range. Had to toss in the avocado and some other fats to get it up higher. It's tough eating a ton more protein to get the calories up, so you do it with "good" fats instead. You've got to get the calories in, you can't really depend on hunger to do it for you.

I did my counts manually, but I've seen other people do it on sites like www.fitday.com.

I'm not tracking calories directly now (mainly because it's a pain in the you know what). But I am tracking my exercises and if I see issues, I'll revisit the calories to see if tweaks need to be made.