Paleo Diet and Paleolithic Diet Questions & Answers

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With all these threads on religion, I felt rather left out :( So anyone out there who follows the great Elder gods? How do you deal with the prohibition on eating cephalopods? I miss calamari :(

What about the commandment to eat as many cute and cuddly animals as you possibly can? I have so much trouble with this one. Yesterday I ate 12 hamsters I stole from a crying preschooler and then devoured a small puppy, but then I remembered I also had a baby bunny wearing a polka dot bow to eat in the fridge. I just couldn't eat any more though.

I also have a lot of trouble finding virgin blood to drink. Maybe it's easier to find if you live near an engineering school? I am finding vegan blood a rather nice alternative, though some of the high priests of Chaos in my neighborhood said it's too low in Vitamin D and omega-3.

edited Dec 17 2010 at 5:08

asked Dec 17 2010 at 4:59

Bread-Eating Beelzebub
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Vegan blood? Come on peeps, everyone here should know by now that you should not consume sick animals! – Eva Dec 17 2010 at 5:14

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This is ALL your fault Jae. Leviticus 20:3 says "He who incites doubt about the bounty provided by the Lord shall be punished by farcical paleohacks." – Kamal♦ Dec 17 2010 at 5:19

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Don't forget about Leviticus 129:29.4 which says "Woe befall upon ye who posteth folly upon the great and might domain of Melissa the Paleohacks moderator. She shall arrive home full of several excellent cocktails and proceed with mockery upon your house and all generations that proceed from ye." – Bread-Eating Beelzebub Dec 17 2010 at 5:23

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@gilliebean--is it grass-fed unicorn? i find the conventional stuff affects me in really adverse ways, mostly digestive and inflammatory wise. – amanda Dec 17 2010 at 6:00

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Grass is NOT the natural diet of the unicorn - they only eat the petals of flowers!!! – ScottMGS Dec 17 2010 at 6:54

show 11 more comments

James · Answer 1 · 2010-12-17 05:55:38Z UTC

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I used to follow the great noodly one. Unfortunately I was excommunicated when I started going low carb. It didn't appreciate me cutting back on spaghetti.

answered Dec 17 2010 at 5:55

James
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You have it all wrong! Just like Hindus do not eat the revered cow, we do not eat the noodly appendages. – uep Apr 6 2011 at 11:21

Nasty Brutish and Short · Answer 2 · 2010-12-17 16:15:43Z UTC

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I wouldn't be so dismissive of religion if I were you.

Irrespective of their particular religious faith, studies have shown that religious people tend to be healthier, happier, and more charitable (even when you consider non-religious charitable donations such as donating blood) than non-believers. Religious people also live longer, commit less crime, perform better academically, have better self-control, are less likely to cheat on their spouse, and are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol as compared to nonreligious individuals.

Although I personally am an atheist I'm also pro-religion.

answered Dec 17 2010 at 16:15

Nasty Brutish and Short
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I'm with you, and this is why I think distinguishing between pseudoscience and religion is important. Unfortunately, the two often go hand in hand (e.g., Intelligent Design, belief in the medical efficacy of prayer) -- at least (or especially) in the US. In theory, it is possible to be religious without being pseudoscientific. In practice, it doesn't happen all that often, but that is mostly a sign that people often fail to be good skeptical empiricists. Much of our wiring makes it difficult for us to practice skeptical empiricism. – JJ Dec 17 2010 at 17:14

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I am not dismissive of religion and I share your opinions. Notably atheism is also a neolithic phenomenon. I hate how the atheist asshole brigade emerges whenever religion comes up, eager to dismiss other people's beliefs. healthcorrelator.blogspot.com/2010/05/… – Bread-Eating Beelzebub Dec 17 2010 at 18:16

Sorry, I misinterpreted your post. BTW that was a really interesting discussion over at healthcorrelator. – Nasty Brutish and Short Dec 17 2010 at 22:39

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Thanks for that link Melissa. It was nice to see this said in the comments for me: "One thing I have observed amongst those who claim to be atheist is that they often treat science and the scientific method with the same sort of religious zeal that you see amongst those who claim to have spirituality" because that is one of my turn-offs in lots of circle, including paleo. That blind zeal often precludes discussions of reverence, ethics, emotion or questioning the entrenched primacy of logic over bodily knowledge which are all really interesting to me. – amanda Dec 17 2010 at 23:27

amanda · Answer 3 · 2010-12-17 05:40:17Z UTC

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I cannot make this claim, however on a tangentially related note, I can say I am a Paleo member of The Cult of Skaro. Studying evolution in order to advance my program of manipulating DNA to evolve my species into a superior one is actually how I got into Paleo. I think the hardest part about reconciling my spiritual beliefs with my WOE is resisting the urge to turn the Pig-slaves I need to help carry out this work into a whole bunch of bacon.

answered Dec 17 2010 at 5:40

amanda
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Wow - bringing Doctor Who into this raises the debate to a whole new level! :) – CT Dec 17 2010 at 6:13

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Davros is wicked into science and therefore Paleo. – amanda Dec 17 2010 at 6:28

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Additionally, the Doctor's belief in regeneration is relying on woo-woo mysticism rather than acknowledging biological reality. Plus from 1985-1989 he was a vegetarian which obviously means my way of life, questionable in some aspects or no, is far better and I must plot to kill him and his kind. – amanda Dec 17 2010 at 8:34

wheelhouse · Answer 4 · 2011-02-01 17:35:11Z UTC

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answered Feb 1 2011 at 17:35

wheelhouse
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL – MasterB Feb 1 2011 at 19:21

Fearsclave · Answer 5 · 2010-12-18 00:56:40Z UTC

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Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftaghn!

answered Dec 18 2010 at 0:56

Fearsclave
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Philosopher · Answer 6 · 2010-12-17 16:57:04Z UTC

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I have never found any, but I have met quite a few believers in the sect of Abaddon, who seem to be rather obscure people....

answered Dec 17 2010 at 16:57

Philosopher
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Pieter D · Answer 7 · 2011-02-01 15:44:51Z UTC

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I think I am not a normal member of the cult. I think I'm a preacher and a missionary. Always converting. Where do I apply? I want to convert the bushmen and the pygmees to this cult.

edited Feb 1 2011 at 15:44

answered Dec 17 2010 at 16:28

Pieter D
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Chickenosaurus Rex · Answer 8 · 2011-02-01 22:12:25Z UTC

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Yes, every day, I face "The Thing That Should Not Be".

edited Feb 1 2011 at 22:12

answered Feb 1 2011 at 21:43

Chickenosaurus Rex
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Any cult of Cthulhu paleos out there?

8 Answers