My boyfriend's father is a sweet man and he likes buying gifts and doing things for people. We have told him we're on a diet and aren't eating wheat/sugar but he is foreign and doesn't really understand. He recently bought us a platter of cookies for the holidays. I do not want to hurt his feelings by turning them down (and it really is a beautiful platter). What do you suggest I do?
If explaining won't stop receiving non-GF or non-Paleo food items, consider donating it a food drive or local food bank. Many public schools and libraries and certain supermarkets have bins for food donations.
Honestly, when someone gives you a gift you say thank you, it's not an opportunity to lecture or refuse. I'm sure Miss Manners would agree.
What you do with the gift is up to you.
A grateful client brought in a Costco box of cookies yesterday. He was so proud to do something nice to me. I let him know how much I appreciated his thoughtfulness. It IS the thought that counts. And as soon as he left, I put the cookies in the office kitchen for my co-workers.
I didn't even want to bring them home for my kids--my kids aren't paleo (too old to change their ways at this point when DH is not onboard), but I'm feeling worse and worse about feeding them "poison".
Say "thank you".
Put them in some place you cannot see them.
As soon as he leaves, wrap up the cookies in individual gift bags and place them in your neighbors' mailboxes with a beautiful hand-written "Merry Christmas from Elle!" message (if you hate your neighbors that is).
Alternative suggestion. You might not want to do it, but it always works for me.
Get the platter and say with deep emotions, "What the hell is this? Cookies? What are you - some kind of sadistic mf? You damn well know we are on a diet and we only eat healthy foods? What, you maxed out your credit card and instead of buying us grass-fed beef you are poisoning us with gluten? You sob!"
Then you take the cookies and smear them in his face. Then take the platter and hit him a couple of times on the head.
Believe me, he will never give you cookies again, as long as he lives (and he might have a shorter lifespan after being hit with that beautiful platter).
In fact, he might not even give you any gifts again. In my experience, people tend to give less after things like that and actually try to avoid you.
But don't let it scare you. It is good for the environment and, in a long run, for your health.
Happy holidays!!! :)
Just tell him you're sensitive to wheat/sugar and that it really negatively affects your health. Until last year I got those treats too but I'm not going to harm myself by eating it or another by giving it away just because telling the truth would be seen as rude.
I definitely prefer the bitter truth above sweet lies and most people actually like that. They know I'm a no nonsense guy and they really respect (and even praise) that.
Step 1: Be polite, and refuse.
Step 2: If Step 1 doesn't end the attempt to gift unwanted food items, then the giver has violated any rules concerning politeness - so throw it on the ground.
I told my mother last year not to get me any gifts. I'm a minimalist and so I prefer experiences. She refused. Did I find use in any of the gifts? One - it's something I have used nearly daily all year.
This time around I am telling her the same thing. I think she kind of get's it. She refuses to literally get me nothing to open but I do think I'll only see a few stocking stuffers. The "big gift" will be her giving me a small amount of money to help pay for the WISE Traditions class that I am taking right now.
I have 3 siblings and we are continuing our tradition of doing no gift giving. We started this last year. We don't do gifts amongst us kids and our grandparents too. We started this last year.
For our relatives, we just do white elephant.
This makes it easy, saves money, manages stress, helps the economy, and allows us to do what's truly important: spend time with each other.
Now us kids have a little extra money to take our parents out for Dinner for the 4th straight year. Before we started this they would take us out.
I hope this sheds at a least a little insight on what I think is a very Primal instinctive way to approaching gift giving...
Do you really want stuff you don't use or an experience?
Be happy that he wants to give you gifts. Say 'Thank you' and mean it, then give them away when he's gone.
BTW if it is a beautiful platter only give away the cookies - keep the platter.
Next time he comes over serve something paleo on the platter. Tell him you love the platter and that this (Whatever it is) is one of your favourite dishes. Maybe he will ask for the recipe!
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