Paleo Diet and Paleolithic Diet Questions & Answers

Question

4

I'm backing this contest with a whopping 50 of my own reputation points (plus 50 matching points). This contest is not sanctioned by PaleoHacks. The moderator may remove this post without warning. How it works:

Write your best poetry or verse about any paleo-related subject. You do NOT have to "pitch" paleo, as in the "elevator pitch" thread: http://paleohacks.com/questions/1665/the-best-paleo-elevator-pitch
You can use any style or format you wish--haiku, limerick, free verse, blank verse, rap, etc. Please announce if you're using a specific format so we can tell how well you fit the format (eg. haiku).
You can be as funny or serious as you wish.
Keep it brief--this is Hack Poetry after all. There is no minimum length. Maximum length shall be English sonnet length (14 lines).
Vote up your favorites!
After 2 days, I will add the bounty. Six days later, I will select the entry with the most votes as the winner. In the event of a tie, the earlier-posted answer will be the winner. I will not judge the answers. Also, I can submit entries, but I'm not eligible for the bounty.
The winner gets all the reputation points from votes received, plus 100 bonus points, plus bragging rights.
Deadline: about 8 days from the date of this post.
Enter as often as you like.

Edit, 3/16/2010, 11PM Eastern: Anna's expressive acumen has proven formidable so far. Surely we have some more paleo poets here in the hack-o-sphere! Plenty of time--deadline is in 6 days.

Edit, 3/21/2010, 9:45AM Eastern: Reminder--get your poems and votes in. The bounty will be awarded Monday evening, 3/22/2010.

Edit, 3/22/2010: Congratulations to Anna, who has taken first place and the 100 reputation points bounty--well done Anna! Thank you to all who participated--poets, voters and readers.

edited Mar 22 2010 at 23:05

asked Mar 15 2010 at 0:35

Ed♦
12.5k●2●17●43

	O-M-G! This is delightful! – gilliebean♦ Mar 15 2010 at 4:28
	Sometimes I write poetry to vent or spout off things in a funny way, so this is right up my alley. Thanks for the fun Ed! – henny Mar 15 2010 at 4:43
	very good question, I fear I lack the poetry gene, however. – Louisa Mar 15 2010 at 10:19
	Wow! Happy AnnaA! This happened just in time for me to find out about it since we are turning our modem in tomorrow and heading home to Canada on Thursday. Thanks for the fun Ed! – henny Mar 23 2010 at 1:10

henny · Accepted Answer · 2010-03-15 01:51:54Z UTC

I was a product SAD but true

Of things you really shouldn't do.

Mistakenly I ate whole grain

And felt my health go down the drain.

The fat I ate was not enough-

I started to feel really rough.

I skipped the fruit and drank the juice,

But over time I learned the truth

That I'd been fed a pile of shit-

(I'm still not really over it!).

I'm now eating grass-fed meat,

And not really anything too sweet.

Over time my hurts will heal,

Paleo chow is food that's real!

tattooedchef · Answer 2 · 2010-03-18 03:37:48Z UTC

7

Haiku.

Paleo newbies/

please leave the hamsters alone/

They are not allowed.

answered Mar 18 2010 at 3:37

tattooedchef
2,509●7●18

The point is from me, not lucky! LOL – henny Mar 18 2010 at 14:05

henny · Answer 3 · 2010-03-15 03:35:27Z UTC

Go out lifting heavy stuff

To get a body that is buff.

Drink only water when you're parched,

Hope kids are fully dental arched.

Eat your kidney, heart and liver

Even though it makes you quiver.

Learn your scientific reasons

For what to eat in certain seasons.

Get some sun without being screened

And watch what kids eat when they're weaned.

Don't stuff yourself three times a day,

And leave yourself some time to play.

These words won't make you super wealthy

But sure as fate they'll get you healthy!

The Great · Answer 4 · 2010-03-18 00:09:41Z UTC

Mounds of sugar, Piles of starch
Unable to resist the golden arch

Insulin spiking, Pancreas scream
Sugar rising in the stream

Discover Grok and his way of life
Convince myself and then my wife

Fat and meat are now the treat
That we and our child love to eat

Skip the sugar, pass on the grains
Say goodbye to all the pains

Ed · Answer 5 · 2010-03-19 02:50:19Z UTC

6

a limerick:

My internist scolded me hard

For frying in tallow and lard.

If your doctors are quacks,

Come to PaleoHacks,

Where your favorite questions are starred.

answered Mar 19 2010 at 2:50

Ed♦
12.5k●2●17●43

This one is my favorite. ;P – Patrik♦ Mar 21 2010 at 2:58

score 5 · Answer 6 · 2010-03-15 19:34:01Z UTC

5

Finally a limerick.

There once was a fellow so large

That he had to travel by barge.

He quit eating wheat

And ate more fat and meat

Now his meds cost is at 'no charge'.

edited Mar 15 2010 at 19:34

answered Mar 15 2010 at 4:37

henny

Glenn · Answer 7 · 2010-03-15 01:59:54Z UTC

4

There was a man from 3 million years ago,

who said, "You're eating grains? No, no!

Fructose, glutens, and industrial oils will kill you,

so eat real food, like your genes tell you to do!"

answered Mar 15 2010 at 1:59

Glenn
4,283●1●13●30

henny · Answer 8 · 2010-03-15 02:00:39Z UTC

Burgers nestled in lettuce bun,

Butter sauce on meat does run,

Nix the cake, don't eat the toffee,

Just give me whipped cream in my coffee!

Sprint up the stairs and 'cross the field-

Just feel the power meat can yield!

No sugar lows can touch me ever-

This Paleo diet's really clever.

Ed · Answer 9 · 2010-03-15 02:11:12Z UTC

4

Haiku:

Run, lift, think better--

Meat, veggies fuel THIS machine.

Ah, paleo bliss!

answered Mar 15 2010 at 2:11

Ed♦
12.5k●2●17●43

puddlefoot · Answer 10 · 2010-03-19 18:56:05Z UTC

4

red meat glistening
gobs of yellow fat shine softly
my belly says yum

answered Mar 19 2010 at 18:56

puddlefoot
257●2●5

henny · Answer 11 · 2010-03-15 02:52:30Z UTC

3

A simpler time in ways, but yet,

In so much trouble Grok could get

In combat with potential food-

He really was manly dude!

Injuries were part of daily life.

Not traffic jams, but daily strife

Helped keep Grok on his toes-

Escape was fast when shit arose.

No grainy bread or tasty waffle-

Grok's fuel really was more offal.

Now I don't sit in trees to tweet

Nor off a squirrel for things to eat,

But nonetheless I'm not too sweet

'Cuz my best food is rare done meat!

answered Mar 15 2010 at 2:52

henny

	Oh gosh- I must have too much time on my hands. – henny Mar 15 2010 at 2:52
	I love the waffle/offal couplet! – Ed♦ Mar 15 2010 at 3:36
	Muchos gracias! – henny Mar 15 2010 at 4:20
	Okay, I voted for this one, ha ha ha ha ha! (And for a couple of your others, you are GOOD, Anna!) – Lucky Mar 16 2010 at 0:13
	SO glad you bagged a deer to go with the squirrel Lucky! – henny Mar 16 2010 at 3:22

show 1 more comment

Ed · Answer 12 · 2010-03-15 17:43:21Z UTC

2

Haiku:

The landscape is dense,

12-step plans ubiquitous.

Start with Dr. Kurt's.

answered Mar 15 2010 at 17:43

Ed♦
12.5k●2●17●43

henny · Answer 13 · 2010-03-15 19:32:23Z UTC

2

My first ever Haiku.

grass fed meat and fat

energy in solid form

body is happy

answered Mar 15 2010 at 19:32

henny

Ri · Answer 14 · 2010-03-19 12:57:39Z UTC

2

Well, why not give it a shot - haiku:

Paleo knowledge

Started a rebirth of mind

Body will follow

answered Mar 19 2010 at 12:57

Ri
226●6

puddlefoot · Answer 15 · 2010-03-19 19:20:57Z UTC

1

meat, bone, fat, offal
crisp grasshoppers, juicy grubs
berries on the side?

answered Mar 19 2010 at 19:20

puddlefoot
257●2●5

Hack Your Poetry Contest (with bounty!)

15 Answers