Given the chance to do it all over again, I would change so many things about how I picked a partner for life.

If I was to start dating now, I think I would definitely look for someone that was concerned about health and fitness. I don't think his views would have to be the same as mine on everything. I have changed my nutrition plan quite a bit over the last 10 years, so I would want someone that was willing to learn and try new things.

I agree with people talking about the importance of respect and tolerance, however if I were interested in someone as a life-long partner, who had a terrible SAD diet, I would feel as if I were watching them slowly hammer the nails into their own coffin every time that they ate. I don't mean to be melodramatic - ok, maybe just a little ;) - but it already drives me nuts to watch those I care about eroding their own health on a daily basis, so my own sense of self-preservation hinders me from becoming emotionally invested in someone engaging in self-destructive behaviour, be it smoking or living off frozen pizza and deep-fried Mars bars.

On the other hand, Paleo is very much a fringe movement (especially where I live) and I suspect that confessing to be Paleo outright would probably be the other person's a deal breaker on a first date. In short I would be very happy with someone who cared about their health (even if this manifested itself in eating the SAD version of a healthy diet), who was flexible enough to accommodate my food "eccentricities" and who was open-minded and scientifically-inclined enough to question conventional wisdom without his brains falling out in a mush of incoherent paranoia about chem trails and Elvis hiding behind the grassy knoll.

So, having decided on that, all that remains is to meet this rugged yet sensitive man of science...

when i met my now husband, i was vegetarian and he ate the frat-boy version of SAD, meaning a lot of meat sandwiches, favoring sausage, and beer. then i started to eat meat, favoring high quality stuff and he became vegetarian, then pescatarian. now im paleo and he is GF pescatarian who only eat meat from an animal he knows personally. relationships and diets evolve. its far more important to me what kind of shoes a dude wears. crocks are a deal-breaker.

ETA: i should say, that other than the very beginning of our relationship (frat-boy SAD), my husband has always been interested in healthy, good food and being politically and ethically responsible with where he puts his food dollars. the specifics of our diet have changed as we learn more and get older, but overall we both count food and diet as a Very Important Thing. food has always been such a big part of my life that i dont know if i could be in a long term relationship with someone who ate nothing but processed foods and/or was a very picky eater with bland tastes.

Great question!

I was vegetarian for over 20 years and dated many carivores so it wasn't an issue for me. My partner is a hunter however he eats SAD. :-(

I think what is important is tolerance and respect for the other person verses only being with someone who eats the way I do.

I consider Paleo a lifestyle, so yes, it would be very important to me if I were chosing a partner.

Absolutely. I'm very strict Paleo, so I would only choose a partner that our ancestors would have eaten.

i love my gf but me being paleo is a point of contention at times. i guess she's at about 70%. but with her being severely gluten-intolerant and having some signs of auto-immunity i've been trying to get her to go with the full buy-in. her response is that my food isn't "fun". sigh... the struggle continues.

My fella and I have been together for almost three and a half years, and he's seen me go from restrictive-type bulimia to vegetarian to Paleo. I'm very glad that he didn't decide to ditch me for not conforming to his SAD diet. ;)

Yes, I'm concerned about his health. I think, if his diet was of great issue to me, that would be the motivating factor to not pursue the relationship. I would hesitate to date a chain-smoking, non-seatbelt-wearing, corpulent alcoholic, just because I'd be worried about longevity (and yeah, I guess the attraction thing plays a part, too >.>), and I regard SAD on about the same level. However, I love him, not the food he eats.

While his diet isn't a definitely not a deal-breaker, I'm still taking measures to improve his health, though, just because it is important to me. I'm currently trying to ease him off gluten. I'm not nagging him or making a big deal about it; I simply haven't prepared him any meals with gluten in it for over a month now (and not necessarily on purpose or deliberately deceptively, either; I merely do not regard gluten as food, and therefore do not cook with it). I finally pointed it out to him about a week ago, and he seemed pleasantly surprised and said he loves the food I make for him. I was also thrilled when I looked back and realized he had eaten entirely Paleo on Sunday without even trying. It just happened spontaneously, which is how it should be. :)

Yes...

I have several key points that must be hit (I honestly thought I would never find anyone)

1. Must be Paleo (don't care what variation but food quality had to be there)
2. Must not smoke/drugs
3. Must Do CrossFit (or some other type of functional training)

There is a long list of other things that kind of fall into as well but honestly I don't think I could do without the above. My girlfriend falls into all of those and it rocks.

I have been married for almost 4 years now-- long before I turned Paleo. I think, that having an open mind and a willingness to try something at least once is much more desirable a quality. I am a pretty organized (read: control freak) person, so it was important that I found someone who was also somewhat structured. I suppose that is why I married a military man. :)

Seeing the changes that I have undergone not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.. my husband has certainly become a believer in the paleo lifestyle, and is now giving it a try for himself. Compromise can be a wonderful thing, and doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice getting what you want to be with a person. Sometimes you have to be creative or flexible to make both situations work. :)

I've only recently been introduced to the paleo way of life (since the beginning of Feb, loving it and feeling good) and have been married for quite a while now. My wife is one of those annoying people who can eat anything and not put on an ounce. She loves baking and cooks fantastic 'traditional' meals using fresh ingredients so I have no cause for complaints there - in fact, it's part of the reason I'm like I am now.

However, there is a total non-acceptance of the ethos of the paleo way. All the usual statements are rolled out (you've all heard them) and I'm constantly reminded that once I've reached my target weight she'll be glad that I'll be back to eating 'normally'. The other day I even got "it's a diet not a lifestyle change"!

Now, don't get me wrong, I love her but it does get mighty wearing. So, if I were to be looking around now, then yes I probably would put more emphasis on their views of diet and health being more aligned with mine.

I wish my husband was more concerned about his own health and fitness. He eats what I cook but he makes SAD choices for meals and snacks he does on his own. He is definitely skinny-fat, but since he doesn't have a visible weight problem or any autoimmune/allergy issues, it's impossible to convince him that his diet is affecting his health.

He supports me by never questioning the family meals I prepare and not trying to sabotage me or criticize my choices, but I have the visible weight problem and the autoimmune issue plus metabolic disorder. So it's like I need the "special diet" and he doesn't.

That said, I don't think I could've chosen a better partner for emotional and mental connection, he's so kind and loving and genuinely interested in just about everything I have to say, and he's an excellent, engaged father. I'm not a perfect wife, and I know don't give him 100% of all he could wish for in that perfect wife.

I guess like anything you have to determine your deal breakers. Given all his pros, the con of fitness and diet isn't enough for me to feel we're not compatible. Plus I have this never-ending hope that I can eventually convert him!

I would much rather that my partner is not paleo. That way I could impress her with my knowledge while on dates.

Paleo is not a deal-breaker, but health-consciousness is. My mom is from a family of 12 and all but two of them are now diabetic or prediabetic, and don't care to do anything about it. Half are morbidly obese. The two who aren't diabetic or obese are only marginally healthy because they run an hour every single day and pack on belly weight the minute they get off the treadmill. The summer before I met my husband I witnessed my uncle going into a diabetic coma, twice. Makes you think about what you want to watch your loved ones go through. Makes you want to choose a man who cares enough about you to do everything in his power to avoid putting you through late-night dramatic hospital scenes. Also that whole family goes through extreme blood sugar fluctuations - pre-meal times get downright nasty in their households!

Great Question Kim!!

I had partnered up long before going paleo. I chose the paleo diet and converted our household - it was met with "really - no more sandwiches - no pizza - awww...c'mon Bree please". My partner lost 40 lbs in 3 months. He will never second guess anything that I suggest - ever again!

Had he not been so successful or receptive I don't think it would be a deal-breaker, but it would be much more difficult. Food i my household is almost a ritual and is definitely a gathering, so if everyone was eating differently it would change the household dynamic a lot.

I wasn't Paleo when I got married, but had much higher food standards than my husband. I look at them as part of the give and take of our relationship. Also, he'll eat Paleo when at home, if I'm cooking it. I get really discouraged making him these dinners knowing he stopped through the BK drive thru for lunch, though.

I don't see it as an issue of respect or tolerance. I respect and tolerate anyone's choices to put whatever they like into their mouths. They just can't do it in my house. I'm well past my 20's where experimenting with foods is so common. I've been low carb and nearly gluten free for over 15 years now and paleo for the last couple of years. While I do expect and look forward to continuing to refine my food choices and beliefs I'm pretty sure I'll be a meat-eating, grain-free, high fat sort of eater all the rest of my days.

For a partner I wouldn't demand paleo per se but no vegetarians or vegans/no low-fat believers and certainly no SAD eaters. With my food and weight history my house needs to be completely clean and it will be. No crap in my house. Not now. Not ever. Now if my partner wanted to go eat a twinkie out on his own that would be o.k. with me. I have no desire to be anyone's mother and I won't be a nag. An 80/20-type person would be fine. Just don't even think about bringing it near me.

And I wonder why I'm still single, lol.

Yes. And I have. The paradox of life is we need to be congruent with thoughts.

Nah, back when I was dating I was only interested in her politics. Being a liberal was a sure sign of mental retardation.