Blog

3

Reading this site over the past few days, it's become clear to me that we are all just closet orthorexics struggling to cope with our demented badge lust.

Luckily I think that I may have found a solution to our mass psychosis; a nice, shiny new badge that we orthorexics can turn our hollow eyes towards, to distract us from the howling emptiness of an existence devoid of all meaning and whole grain goodness, rather like a loaf of coconut flour bread devoid of all vital gluten e.g. dry, an acquired taste, and often mistaken for nuts.

So, what should get you an orthorexic badge? Having 4 or more "concerned" co-workers officially register their distress over your continued rejection of office birthday cake? Or (cruellest of ironies) should the requirement be 10 or more other badges earned?

flag
OK, I know I participated on the badge-lust thread, but I think we may have crossed the line finally with this one, since we have about 6 questions on orthorexia right now. – Paul Apr 29 2011 at 18:21

closed as off topic by Paul Apr 29 2011 at 18:21

4 Answers

1

I propose awarding the Orthorexic badge for posting a certain number questions- maybe 20 or so?

link|flag
1 
Nice idea; I did consider the badge of honour/badge of shame angle. What about 20 questions within a certain time limit earns you a big, red "O" by your name? – Simibee Apr 29 2011 at 14:52
Haha, I like that! – Jules K Apr 29 2011 at 17:03
1

You have to ask at least 10 different chefs to cook your wild-caught Alaskan salmon in butter. No, you can't have the side potatoes; demand they substitute a second helping of steamed veggies instead.

link|flag
3 
Or what about demanding that one chef goes ice-fishing to ensure the salmon is really fresh and eco-friendly, demanding that another uses the latest gene technology to resurrect a rare breed mastodon, pasture raise it, milk it and hand churn the butter... – Simibee Apr 29 2011 at 14:48
1 
Mastodon butter! Now you're talking! – Dave S. Apr 29 2011 at 15:18
As soon as I typed it, I actually got a little curious. Sigh, so many potentially tasty extinct animals - science needs to hurry up and clone me some mammoth steaks in time for barbecue season. – Simibee Apr 29 2011 at 15:37
Heh, this is reminding me of the Northern Exposure episode where they ate the Mammoth. Man, I was so jealous! – A at Grain Free Diet Apr 29 2011 at 16:04
I remember reading an article that claimed the Siberian fishermen, or whatever they were, who found a frozen mammoth were able to eat some of its meat before the evil, meat-denying scientists got to it. Could be total bullshit, but how awesome would it be to be those fishermen? – becker Apr 29 2011 at 17:05
show 1 more comment
1

You should definitely get the badge simply for asking this question!

link|flag
Thanks - but all things considered it seems like a dubious honour at best! ;) – Simibee Apr 29 2011 at 15:34
Well, I want one! – Dave S. Apr 29 2011 at 17:57
0

"You know the Jews had flair that the Nazis made them wear..."

(yes I know I already used this quote...but the movie is funny!)

link|flag
Is that from Office Space? – Dave S. Apr 29 2011 at 17:59
Hey Peter-man, check out channel 9! It's the breast exam, WOO! – Futureboy Apr 29 2011 at 18:23

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.