I do have my binge foods. I'll still buy a half pound of Jarlsberg Swiss once in a while and inhale the whole thing on a drive home. Or the same amount of salami. Once on a snow weekend with friends (none of whom are 'paleo') I ate half the freshly made oatmeal raisin cookies - late at night when nobody was around. But oh my lord this is SO much better than what I used to do: buy six donuts when I went to the store and stuffed them in on the way home. Keep a tub of dough in the glove box. Then have dinner... I am very very lucky I didn't get obese and probably would have if I had continued!
But it's different now, and I give myself a LOT more slack, and I think you can too even if you change nothing. Some random thoughts:
-There are a couple diets that include a built-in 'binge day'. I'm thinking of Tim Ferris' Four Hour Body. He says pick a day to pig out, but just tweak it a little so it's less damaging (he has interesting suggestions).
I don't do this - I'm too compulsive to have a whole day of eating crap to not extend it to the whole week, but I do use the idea to forgive myself when do I overeat. "I guess that's half my binge day" I'll think.
-I try to be generally zero carb - sugar is too powerful for me to have some regulated amount (the cheese and salami, above, are where I 'binge'). If a packaged food has any sugar in it at all (or unless I know it's a very small amount) I don't buy it - I don't try to play games with "allowed amounts". That's why I don't 'count' - for me it's all-or-nothing and counting is too in-between for me to handle.
-Also, eating pure fat is protective. I'm still getting my brain around this! A big spoonful or two of coconut oil or butter (omg, butter! - just look for the good stuff like Kerrygold) or even both before a social occasion might help resistance - but even if it doesn't it slows down the pace some. A couple weeks ago I tasted some of the bacon grease after a breakfast - and it was so good I spooned it all down. I weighed a pound or two less the next morning...
-It can help to bring 'safe' binge food along or keep around. Hard boiled eggs are great for this. So is coconut oil. People suggest sardines but the smell is a little much for company. Even if you're eating donuts later, filling up on protein/fat first should give you a little 'space' to make better choices.
-'Lacto' is dicey for me, unless it's cultured into kefir or yogurt - again it's too much sugar.
-It IS a huge mystery why it's SO hard to deal with! Nobody has the answer yet, so if you don't yet you're in good company :-)