Paleo Diet and Paleolithic Diet Questions & Answers

Question

17

1

All things come to an end (except Saturday Night Live). One day, PaleHacks will come to an end. What will the very last question be?

Will it be:

a) Why can't I $hit anymore?

b) What can I have for breakfast other than eggs?

c) Is having a threesome Paleo?

d) My vegan relatives are visiting me. Should I torture them?

e) What will be the last question ever asked on PaleoHacks?

f) (None of the above. Supply one of your own).

flag	asked Jun 21 2011 at 0:06 Thomas Seay

Somebody downvoted. Please don't be a coward. Tell me why you downvoted. – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 3:33

the question made them sad, obvi :( – Kamal♦ Jun 21 2011 at 5:20

This question (+ answers) made my day :) – Dirk-Jan Jun 21 2011 at 9:06

1

i think the question is silly but i didnt downvote you – ben61820 Jun 21 2011 at 14:47

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There's plenty of room for silliness here. I deal with enough humorless careerists all day long. – Chickenosaurus Rex Jun 21 2011 at 16:08

show 2 more comments

Jonathan · Answer 1 · 2011-06-21 01:57:47Z UTC

26

Other than high dose Vitamin D, does anyone have a paleo hack for this pesky zombie pandemic?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 1:57

Jonathan
1,155●2●7●12

3

The Ronco Telomere Stretcher for only 3 easy payments of $9.95. – Chickenosaurus Rex Jun 21 2011 at 16:18

The Quilt · Answer 2 · 2011-06-21 00:35:40Z UTC

23

Hey this is Patrik I'm closing PH and opening VeganHacks! Come join my new community and let's hack us all to hell! Don't say anything here.....save all your words of wisdom for my new vegan brothers!

answered Jun 21 2011 at 0:35

The Quilt
27.4k●1●13●82

10

Hahhahahahahaha - that actually made me laugh out loud. Hat's off to the The Quilt. – Patrik♦ Jun 21 2011 at 2:08

MimsySeoul · Answer 3 · 2011-06-21 10:51:54Z UTC

Please hack my plateau: I've been paleo for about six weeks now, and while I lost some weight initially, I have been rather irritable and sleepy, often losing interest in fighting off the android invaders who have taken over the planet. Mostly I walk around the perimeter of the bunker and lift old machinery in search of food about 2-3 times a week. My typical diet includes a lot of intermittent fasting, with maybe one rat and three cockroaches for breakfast and a handful of dried up grass that still grows around the rubble that used to be the interstate. For dinner, I might catch a feral cat and share it with twelve other people. I have to admit, since we've had that radioactive cloud overhead for the last two years, I haven't been getting as much sunshine as I like. Do you think I need vitamin D supplements? Maybe I should up my intake of lean protein by not brushing the maggots off my meat? The warlord of our makeshift clan shakes his head and tells me to "just eat a balanced diet and eat in moderation." I am so frustrated! I am totally about to give up! Does anyone have any advice fo

...

Diana · Answer 4 · 2011-06-21 00:38:05Z UTC

19

what's a bagel?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 0:38

Diana
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I love this one. – tonysolo Jun 22 2011 at 11:51

ben61820 · Answer 5 · 2011-06-21 01:29:45Z UTC

12

Hopefully a better one than this.

answered Jun 21 2011 at 1:29

ben61820
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ha nice, you get my vote. – Futureboy Jun 21 2011 at 3:10

donat · Answer 6 · 2011-06-21 05:44:52Z UTC

10

how could we have been so stupid?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 5:44

donat
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Aaron · Answer 7 · 2011-06-21 17:07:28Z UTC

10

Wow, look at the news! Aliens are landing. The first contact indicates they are a super-advanced hunter-gatherer race! I wonder what they eat...

answered Jun 21 2011 at 17:07

Aaron
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Ed · Answer 8 · 2011-06-21 01:12:58Z UTC

9

Is anti-matter paleo?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 1:12

Ed♦
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How can we test that? Will it affect my telomeres? ;-) – Chickenosaurus Rex Jun 21 2011 at 2:14

smartcookie · Answer 9 · 2011-06-21 13:28:48Z UTC

9

Existential conundrum: Hey guys, if I don't have access to pasture raised cattle on a regular basis, is it better to have in vitro meat engineered with high omega-3's or caribou cloned from DNA found in Australopithecus' cave?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 13:28

smartcookie
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Upvoted, because I am hoping that you will have pity and continue to develop the thought that you started here: paleohacks.com/questions/45135/… – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 13:51

Thomas, I was playing hard to get. Though, since you asked, I think you'd make an excellent first subject. ;-) – smartcookie Jun 21 2011 at 14:50

Smartcookie, I was hoping you'd say that :) Don't play too hard to get, because you are already very hard to get. You don't have an email or blog listed in your profile, so I can't "hit you up" :) – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 17:13

1

BTW, I would go with the caribou cloned from DNA found in some Australopithecus' cave. – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 17:15

Chickenosaurus Rex · Answer 10 · 2011-06-21 00:31:42Z UTC

7

(g) A Satanic cult has moved into the apartment downstairs. Is that paleo?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 0:31

Chickenosaurus Rex
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Only if they're sacrificing the offal of unbaptized children, taking Natural Calm and 5000 IU of Vitamin D, and having threesomes. – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 0:34

They must also have foregone shampoo and soap. I'm pretty sure Anton Lavey had stopped using both. – Chickenosaurus Rex Jun 21 2011 at 2:17

I don't know. I'll say this about Anton. He had some hot women in his entourage. – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 2:41

Would you say that most or only some of them were unusually stacked for as thin as they were? – Koko Jun 21 2011 at 3:53

Koko, you're right. They were stacked and thin. I have noticed that in the photos I have seen. – Thomas Seay Jun 21 2011 at 13:48

Kirill · Answer 11 · 2011-06-21 02:51:18Z UTC

5

"Now that we're all genetically modified to secrete enzymes for every biological substance in existence, why the f%#k do we need this site for?"

answered Jun 21 2011 at 2:51

Kirill
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Caveman formally known as Dan · Answer 12 · 2011-06-22 03:08:06Z UTC

5

Red pill or Blue pill? Its up to you.

answered Jun 22 2011 at 3:08

Caveman formally known as Dan
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Pieter D · Answer 13 · 2011-06-22 13:07:54Z UTC

5

I don't know the question, but I do know the answer:

42

answered Jun 22 2011 at 13:07

Pieter D
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(tip: hitchhikers guide to the galaxy) – Pieter D Jun 22 2011 at 13:35

2

Deep Thought didn't know about Dolly Parton after her breast reduction operation, otherwise he would have known the question. – Thomas Seay Jun 22 2011 at 14:26

Jules K · Answer 14 · 2011-06-21 14:10:32Z UTC

4

Is soylent green paleo?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 14:10

Jules K
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mari · Answer 15 · 2011-06-21 00:10:11Z UTC

3

g) Paleohacks will continue on forever because of witty questions like this one.

answered Jun 21 2011 at 0:10

mari
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none · Answer 16 · 2011-06-21 00:17:40Z UTC

3

There won't be one. It will be deleted because it will break all rules of PH - and maybe even the universe!

answered Jun 21 2011 at 0:17

none
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Kinda like finding the end of the internet... – MadMav Jun 21 2011 at 0:45

Phoenix · Answer 17 · 2011-06-21 02:42:18Z UTC

Are you aware that you're dreaming and PaleoHacks doesn't exist?

Then you wake up screaming, at which point your significant other says "Baby, you were just having a bad dream! Here, take this spoonful of gluten and you'll feel all better."

Then you wake up again and realize bacon doesn't actually exist.

INCEPTION.

Natalie · Answer 18 · 2011-06-22 04:37:59Z UTC

3

Man meat.... yay or nay?

answered Jun 22 2011 at 4:37

Natalie
31●2

Let it be me ok? – Thomas Seay Jun 22 2011 at 14:31

greta · Answer 19 · 2011-06-21 02:20:54Z UTC

Paleo dieters maladapt to change in worldwide food supplies and die off while industrialized consumers thrive in a giant feedlot / drugpot. ie what if the whole worlds food got nuked and all those eating mass produced lab food adapted with the help of drugs and became a diseased offshoot race.

Carl_Stawicki · Answer 20 · 2011-06-21 10:49:42Z UTC

2

Can someone hit the lights?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 10:49

Carl_Stawicki
13.3k●1●6●32

1

Let's call Mary Tyler Moore! (old-school TV reference that no self-respecting paleo would know about since all of us are outside getting fresh air, sprinting while eating a ribeye, weeding our organic gardens, and picking pebbles out of the soles of our feet because we don't wear shoes. heh! – Deborah105 Jun 21 2011 at 11:25

"Hit the lights!"..sorry, old song. – ben61820 Jun 21 2011 at 12:44

I understood both references. – Carl_Stawicki Jun 21 2011 at 16:30

Dave S. · Answer 21 · 2011-06-21 13:05:34Z UTC

2

Honey, wake up!

Wow! I had the weirdest dream...

answered Jun 21 2011 at 13:05

Dave S.
20.9k●1●11●65

2

Were you face to face with Suzanne Pleshette when you awoke? I wonder if there's a paleo inn in Vermont. – Chickenosaurus Rex Jun 21 2011 at 16:07

Plus a million. – Kamal♦ Jun 21 2011 at 17:18

1

Thanks for getting the reference - sometimes I think I'm too old to play here... – Dave S. Jun 30 2011 at 17:14

Caveman formally known as Dan · Answer 22 · 2011-06-21 20:03:38Z UTC

2

Now that the governments banned everything I eat can I render the nurtrients out of oreo cookies and molecularly baked bagels?

answered Jun 21 2011 at 20:03

Caveman formally known as Dan
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aggromonk · Answer 23 · 2011-06-21 20:12:59Z UTC

(g) Too bad it took so long for the "mainstream to catch on to this diet! After the GMO grain crisis of 2030 killed off 90% of the worlds population from a deadly plague which fed off these GMO grains. Today a small breeding colony of modern day cavemen and woman exist, mainly eating animals, living plants and drinking water.

Edward J. Edmonds · Answer 24 · 2011-06-23 16:29:27Z UTC

1

Is simulated sex paleo?

answered Jun 23 2011 at 16:29

Edward J. Edmonds
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SphereMonk · Answer 25 · 2011-06-23 16:20:20Z UTC

0

I can't believe the former editor-in-chief of US News & World Report was just elected U.S. Presi "click"

answered Jun 23 2011 at 16:20

SphereMonk
31●1

What will be the last question ever asked on PaleoHacks?

25 Answers