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Yesterday, my son turned 6. I had to work, so my wife took him to John's Incredible Pizza (think Chuck E Cheese on crack!) for lunch with his grandma and I went to meet them for a few minutes on my lunch. That has to be the worst place ever. Gluten bomb city. It is a buffet place that has a pizza bar (my non-paleo wife went for the macaroni & cheese pizza - WTF?!), pasta/potato bar, dessert bar, and rancid salad bar. I knew this going in so I had a can of sardines and a banana in the parking lot before I went in. The worst part of all was that they won't let you in without purchasing a buffet! I had to pay $7.50 just to get in and play air hockey with my son on his birthday! I had restaurants.

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$7.50 well spent i say :) happy birthday to your son! – sage_ Jun 25 2011 at 18:31
Touche! That's what I felt...just don't like the extortion when there is nothing there I would touch. – Shanon H Jun 26 2011 at 3:01

15 Answers

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Olive Garden...and for some unknowable reason, in my town, there's a line out the door every night of the week. Actually, now that I think on it, that explains a lot.

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I just stumbled across the gluten free menu at OG. olivegarden.com/Menu/Gluten-Free Of course looks like no guarantees for celiacs, but for most people the mixed grill (beef, chicken, veggies) might be an acceptable item if otherwise coerced by social obligation to go to OG. – familygrokumentarian Jul 4 2011 at 2:50
I had the 'gluten free' steak there and zucchini with olive oil. I did get sick afterwards though... – Senneth Aug 22 2011 at 20:34
Olive garden is the only restaurant where I've ever had to send food back. I'm usually quite easy going and reasonable when it comes to food, but my chicken in veggies (subbed out for pasta) was so salty that it burned my mouth. – FED at LiveCaveman.com Aug 22 2011 at 20:58
I agree....why is that place so busy? – hemanvt Aug 23 2011 at 11:13
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Panera is pretty impossible.

The one time I was there since going lacto paleo I got a Greek salad, no dressing. No way for me to tell if gluten was involved in the proteins (chicken, beef, etc.) that they offer. There are also fresh apples available as a choice, but of course in a place like that going completely gluten free is not really going to happen - the title of the chain alludes to bread, for cryin' out loud.

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I have trouble if I'm at Panera for breakfast (egads!) but I generally like their "signature" salads, as long as I ignore the dressing. The one they have rolling right now has chicken and a ton of fruits. mmmm. I'm not especially gluten-sensitive though, so I'm not worries about cross-contamination. – Kirsten Jun 25 2011 at 16:20
Agreed about Panera. I was on their site, and all of their salads contain processed crap. I don't eat there anymore-- I don't trust their food. – Leigh Jun 25 2011 at 19:07
They will put whatever you want on the salads! I just usually go for chicken and some nuts, bacon, avocado and cheese. It may not be the best option, but it's easier for me than a lot of others. – sherpamelissa Jun 26 2011 at 2:59
Mmmmm that sounds tasty. – familygrokumentarian Jun 26 2011 at 12:07
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Unfortunately, Thai restaurants -- at least in the U.S. -- might as well be called "meat candy stores". I love all the dishes, but so many of them are spiked with so much sugar that I just get hungrier and hungrier as I eat. Pad thai, with those lovely rice noodles, makes things even worse.

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Pancake pantry.......I just got there after church and stand in line and give talks for those who will listen. Every Sunday I get several out of the line. Needless to say the owner does not dig me coming on Sunday. I tell him it is my PSA for the week.

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The owner of Pancake Pantry doesn't dig you coming in and lecturing? The gall!!! – Kamal Jun 26 2011 at 2:28
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My coworkers like this awful Chinese place and since we have office lunch together every Friday, I have to sometimes endure it, though now me and another girl are protesting and refusing it. Everything is cooked with crap!oil and drenched in corn starch sugar goo. Last time I went I tried to hack my meal, so I ordered just beef and veggies steamed. Uuuugggh, the beef was a horrible grey color and totally flavorless. I guess they get away with it normally because they cover it with sauce.

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I did the same when given no other option. It really shows the low quality of ingredients when you can't hide behind sugar sauces and grease. – sarah-ann Aug 22 2011 at 20:35
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Speaking of funky meat, what's with the chicken at Chinese food restaurants? It always comes in these funny squiggly strips that remind me of those fake rubber chickens. – FED at LiveCaveman.com Aug 22 2011 at 20:57
"Cats in the kettle at the Piking Moon" – Ebice Aug 23 2011 at 5:56
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I hate Chinese. I can usually find something to eat when I go somewhere, but not at a Chinese restaurant. Everything is stirfried in low cholesterol soybean oil (they advertise this) and they won't do anything steamed even on request. I ended up just having some white rice because the shrimp I ordered was oily and covered in sauce.

I did have a really good experience at a pizza place last night though. I was going in pretty pessimistic and fully expecting to not be able to eat anything, but they had gluten free crusts made only with safe starches and everything was organic. I got bacon, pepperoni, and peppers and it was delicious. My first pizza in probably a year and a half. I also may have had a gluten free brownie :)

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hmmm, interesting choices of food items – Aili Jun 25 2011 at 14:59
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Mari don't you hate it when those little buggers just jump right into your mouth like that? – Shari Bambino Jun 25 2011 at 18:59
Your Chinese places suck. No offense, but steaming things around here is very easy. Then again, we have Chinese people cooking the food. – Sara Jun 25 2011 at 23:24
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Honestly, Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, Oregon. Popular beyond its due, more of a drug house than a doughnut shop, with long lines of eager dupes snaking around the block before it even opens. I don't care if a doughnut is shaped like a penis or a boob, it's still a doughnut. And why do our out-of-town guests always insist on going there? For me, nothing to "eat" but a glass of water.

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I do miss the maple bar with bacon... if you are in Portland like me, we are incredibly lucky to have so many fresh options. – Eazine Jun 25 2011 at 18:46
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I am soooo making penis-shaped donuts for a bachelorette party some day. Screw the sugar and gluten. – Sara Jun 25 2011 at 23:27
I also have yet to discern a gluten intolerance. Soy, however, appears to be a problem. – Sara Jun 25 2011 at 23:28
Haha! I've seen that place on multiple TV specials and have to admit that their "Maple bacon bar" had me salivating a little bit ;) – FED at LiveCaveman.com Aug 22 2011 at 20:53
I have had to stand in the horrendous line so many times with friends and have yet to eat a single doughnut from Voodoo. At the end of each semester our professors will come in with a box. It's a little painful. – Lauren Aug 23 2011 at 0:09
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In my opinion, most restaurant are bad. It would be an interesting exercise to collect a list of "best" restaurants. I don't have one - I wish I did so I wouldn't have to cook so much for this insatiable brood I live with.

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A place here in Auckland called "bikanerwala" - Indian vegetarian cuisine. Everything is either a grain or a legume, hardly any vegetables in sight. Loads of sugar in the drinks and tons of gooey sweets. Literally, the only thing I could have was a glass of water. Yay for being able to skip meals easily.

If you did dairy, you will be able to get away with the grilled tikka paneer (a type of firm Indian cheese)

I kid you not, every Indian over the age of 30 in that restaurant was overweight or obese. Diabetes explosion, anyone?

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As I sit on the pot saying my final words, my vote right now for Applebee's.

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As I sit on the pot saying my final words, my vote right now for Applebee's.

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Pretty much all of them...

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The so-called "heatlh food" store out here. I decided to meet some friends for lunch, and the hot bar was all tofu, chickpeas, and soybean-oil coated pasta salads. Ick.

I wound up grabbing some chèvre and soppressata from a cold case. Not my ideal lunch, but it was literally the only thing they sold in the store that wouldn't make me sick, and I was ravenous.

ETA: I just got back from a microbrewery. Delicious pub food, no doubt, but gluten heaven. I wound up eating a side salad, filched a few of the fella's garlic-parmesan fries (<3 fries!), and ate the guts out of a roast beast and bacon sandwich. Every. single. thing. was either bread (sandwich, pizza) or breaded (battered fish, fried chicken). Even the drinks were gluten-laden. o.o

Even navigating it as carefully as I did, I'm sure I'll have a tummyache tomorrow.

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Yeah, there's an all-you-can-eat buffet near my house that advertises as being vegetarian friendly. Seriously the only straight-up protein I could find was the bacon bits and crumbled hard boiled eggs at the salad bar. The next best option was new england clam chowder. :(

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Pei Wei (or PF Changs) Their 'gluten free' menu items are drowning in sugar and potato starch, which is usually offered with a side of rice, or a garnish of rice noodles. I understand that some foods can be gluten free without being paleo, but putting soy on top of your rice with your gluten free spicy shrimp defeats the purpose no? Also, I live in San Antonio where Mexican food is king and you can see it on the bellies of most of our population. Its a nightmare down here for office lunches....I hide in my cube with my sack lunch of last night's leftovers.

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I went to Pei Wei with my parents and was able to substitute my way into a decent meal. Coconut curry with beef, extra veggies instead of rice. – FED at LiveCaveman.com Aug 22 2011 at 20:55

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