This question is slightly biased. I'm fat, but eat healthy food (at least most of the time). I have some pretty hot friends who eat a bunch of crap, don't work out, and are totally hot. I have another friend who's bulky, but not fat, gets lots of exercise, and is open minded with eating Paleo but will generally eat anything someone puts in front of her, and peanut butter is arguably her favorite food.

Who would you choose? Or would you look elsewhere? Do you want someone smart and strong-willed and determined that grains are good for her, or someone who's dumb and weak and will do whatever you tell her? There is so much more than their current diet you should be looking at.

I agree, the corndog implies that she doesn't seem to give a crap about her health. But would a Vegan be better?

I would suggest looking for someone you connect with, and if that connection includes a passion for health, then great!

I was striving to be healthy when I met my husband. I knew he was a fast food junky when I married him, and while I hated it, I loved so many other things about him enough to deal with it and health-wash him later.

SWF seeking dreamy caveman. Passion required, beard optional.

When I met my husband, I was 20, he was 19 and on leave from the Marines. I smoked, he used copenhagen and we both drank socially, ate shitty food and were very typical young people in the early 90's. Having now been married for 18 years we've both quit tobacco, we've had a child, he's survived cancer, we're both more health conscious now, eat better, exercise and I can honestly say that there has never been at any point in our relationship, anything he's done that made me feel repulsed by him.

If at this point in my life if I found myself single, I can't say for sure whether or not I would judge someone by what they eat or may eat on occasion.

My current boyfriend naturally eats a very low carb/no processed food diet even though he's always been thin and healthy. His viewpoint on the SAD is one of the things that attracted me to him when we began dating. I find that he keeps me on track when I have a bad day and want to cheat which is super motivating and makes me appreciate him even more than I would if we didn't have that aspect to our relationship. It's a big improvement from the guy I dated before him who was an insatiable fast food junkie that ridiculed my way of eating every chance he got.

I didn't realize how important being on the same page nutritionally with someone was until now. I hope I never have to date someone again who doesn't have the same outlook on diet and lifestyle as I do. The only thing that would make my boyfriend better and more like me nutritionally would be if he were as into the idea of raising our own meat (cows, goats, chickens, ducks, etc.) as I am, but I can keep pushing that over time. ;)

You have to be fair- not many people realize how damaging poor eating is to them. That girl eating a corndog may change her ways overnight if she learned how bad it is. My husband and I were SAD eaters when we met- then we went vegetarian, and then vegan together. We decided to leave veganism after over a year and went flexitarian- then discovered paleo and ventured into that together and haven't looked back. Not everyone is going to be perfect- but you can work with someone.. it's not about changing them, but enlightening them. Don't judge a person by what they are eating- you were probably eating that as well at some point in your life.

I've been with my husband 10 years, and we both started out (me at 20, him at 23) eating like crap. But my health has taken some serious downturns and, while he's not setting out to become 100% Primal himself, he understands that I'm having a really really hard time adhering to it. I have a carb/sugar addiction that is literally an addiction -- after 2 days with no sugar, I start pacing the apartment wringing my hands and unable to think of ANYTHING other than running down to 7-11 for a Reeses. I described this to a student who had a heroin problem, and she understood completely :P

Anyway, Husband has agreed that this summer we will see NO non-Primal food enter this house. (Well, with the one exception of his birthday -- he's going to buy a loaf of bread and have BLTs all day, then toss whats left of the bread). Whether or not he ever sticks to this diet, what's important to me is that he's willing to change his life because it's important to my health. (Eating low carb Primal won't cure me, but it will make all of my conditions more easily manageable, and keep me healthier long-term.)

If I were to ever find myself in the dating scene again, my real requirements would be that the man I dated be willing to let me eat the way that's right for my body, help me with it, and LISTEN to me when I discuss nutrition and health, even if he chooses to disagree. If he'll have a discourse with me about it and not dismiss me out of hand, that's enough.

Then again, I'd never date someone who dismissed my opinions out of hand about ANYTHING.....

attitude plays a big role in who i find myself attracted to. ranty, whiney, judgemental people are unpleasant to be around.

in another thread i addressed my preference for men who are health concious and eat well; its all in the taste.

I'm married, but I did ponder this question only yesterday. "What if I were thrown back into the dating pool!?!" For my personality, I think it would be hard to date someone who wasn't at least open to the idea of at least trying paleo. The open mind, support and respect for my dietary choice would probably mean just as much if not more. It takes a special person to say "I don't choose that for myself but I choose to support it for you". It would go both ways, though it would be so much easier if he would at least not eat processed or fast food!

My husband and I are one the same page with our eating and it makes things a lot easier! We grocery shop together, discuss recipes and enjoy food together. He is the more disciplined one which helps keep me on track. A lot of friends that I CrossFit with, their spouses usually do not workout with them or eat Paleo/Primal. We are one of those "rare" couples I guess?

I take Paleo as a religion in a way (replace the word Paleo with Jesus, and you will be surprised). My boyfriend has an obsession with pretzels, mountain dew, and popcorn. I'm taking on Paleo just recently, with no salt, fruit, nuts, and any other "iffy" Paleo foods. Polar opposites.

But, I love him and he love me. I can still love him just as much because we have respect for our food choice. I realize he may not be ready to start a Paleo diet, and he realizes I'm trying to change my eating habits for the better. So we are still both happy.

If I was single and dating, I think it would be a priority. Not paleo per say, but I would seek out other very fit, active, health-conscious people.

But I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, and we're very happy. He is not paleo and probably never will be (picky eater). However he's pretty open to my ideas, he eats what I cook him (with his tastes in mind) and has a natural inclination towards clean living; he's never smoked or drank excessively, he eats to live, he's very active (without ever 'working out' once in his life), and at 42 years old he's the same weight he was 15 years ago. Plus he has good genes in the family. I feel very lucky to be with him; most men his age I know are centrally obese, smoke, drink or both, and eat nothing but crap all day - they consider caring at all about your eating or health 'girly' or something. It depresses me a little just to be around people like that, I can't imagine being in love with someone determined to eat themselves right into a heart attack or diabetes.

Well, being in college, most of the guys I know couldn't care less about nutrition, so I'd count myself lucky if I could find a guy to date who wouldn't think I was completely nuts. Accepting my way of life and potentially going paleo too... well that would be awesome.

If you want to date someone who is in good shape and health conscious, take a page out of the CrossFit Bible:

1. Open a CrossFit affiliate
2. Make girls work out really hard
3. Tell them to eat paleo
4. Hit on them constantly, don't worry if they have a boyfriend/husband
5. ???
6. Profit

As a 41yo gay man, my dating possibilities are already severely limited. Assuming 3.8% of the population is queer, ~half of them are women, and amongst the men, they have all the usual reasons not to be interested in one person or another; and even assuming my data are off by a few percentage points one way or the other--my potential viable partners already comprise a vanishingly small cohort. If my partners now have to be paleo, I might as well forget it, and resign myself to being one of nature's perpetual bachelors. (BTW, is that paleo?)

Amongst my friends and family--the people I love MOST in the world--exactly one of them is paleo. I don't evaluate any of them based on their food choices, and I thank them not to evaluate me that way either. Most of my good friends have incredibly ethical, meaningful, active, socially conscious lifestyles. Many are quite beautiful and sexy as well, including a few who are even (gasp!) VEGANS!!!

As Chris Kresser says, there's more to health than food, and there's more to life than health. I'm not looking for excuses to disqualify people from my life--there are already too many as it is. It's much healthier for me to focus on common ground and chemistry. I'm not turning down a hot guy who who totally digs me because he eats grains instead of brains.

I've been thinking about this today... What does blatant disregard for ones own health say about a person? Especially a person with a healthy-eating spouse. They have all the information in front of them, living proof that it works, they see how much better you feel than they do, and they still choose to eat pasta or a giant plate of french toast even when presented with better options. Even when they know they feel like crap after they eat it. I don't get it. I'm not sure I want to be with someone like that anymore. Not so much because they eat the occasional sandwich or something but because they don't even try or care, at all, period. I feel it's kind of selfish too, especially if you are in it for the long run because they are robbing you of a healthy active future and giving you a bunch of bullshit and doctors instead. They don't care.

I just stumbled across this discussion.

Although I don't judge people for not eating Paleo or similar, I agree that I'd rather not choose (again) to share my life with a mainstream diet person.

But as a single 37 year old mother of two, currently living in a fairly small countryside village in Norway, I have never in my entire life met a man that is on Paleo...

U sure they exist???

;-)

I just stumbled across this discussion.

Although I don't judge people for not eating Paleo or similar, I agree that I'd rather not choose (again) to share my life with a mainstream diet person.

But as a single 37 year old mother of two, currently living in a fairly small countryside village in Norway, I have never in my entire life met a man that is on Paleo...

U sure they exist???

;-)

Is that an invitation? ;-)

I was actually just thinking about this the other day. Current relationship is with the opposite of paleo, and it is in its death throes (the relationship, not the partner, though that's debatable). I'm not looking right now, but when I do start looking, I'll probably start at my local Crossfit affiliate. I wouldn't mind someone who ate paleo most of the time and cheated occasionally, but the person absolutely has to have a similar mind when it comes to nutrition and feeding any potential children. Maybe they should add that to eharmony... do you smoke? Drink? Eat gluten? Need not apply...

As a teenager who's been health conscious (but not paleo) for several years, I've yet to be in anything resembling a serious relationship, but I find that I'm not too attracted to the guys my age who don't take care of themselves.
I probably would be less picky about it than I'd like to be. At the very least they have to have optimum health as a goal that they're working toward - their method, which can be easily "fixed", doesn't matter so long as they genuinely care about their health.

I've been married for 10 years, and was with her for 2 years prior to that. I've only known about Ancestral/Paleo/Hunter-Gatherer lifestyle eating since 2003 or thereabouts - so obviously no bearing on my mate selection whatsoever.

My wife has "tried" paleo, for a few months, lost some weight, felt a bit better, and even went out and got all the Paleo cookbooks. We even tried modifying it for my son, but it really didn't work out for her, and by extension, our son.

I made the mistake of being a bit over-zealous in my critique of her choices, and that caused some issues.

I'm finding now that by being as stringent as possible with my own health and regimen, her curiosity gets piqued... and as she sees the positive changes in me, that extends to her. That seems to be a running theme in my life, when I go "full-zealot" for Paleo, I tend to make an ass of mysel, even to the people I know and love who know I'm prone to zealotry.

I'm sure most of you have heard the zoo metaphor for modern life. It seems to me there's a danger of becoming a zookeeper. Indeed, in daily life, I see many cases where it seems like things would be better if I could just feed someone right for thirty days- control the environment, get the person healthy, and then they'd get the eureka moment. But what if the eureka moment doesn't come? When looking for commitment, especially, this looks like a bad gamble. Women have from conception to birth, and then most jurisdictions let them keep the children if there are any conflicts between the parents, so banking on 'she'll understand eventually' just doesn't seem too smart.

for me, it's about openness. my boyfriend isn't totally sold on cutting out grains, but he's totally ok with eating the food I cook and cooking around my restrictions.

Well, it would be nice to find someone to enjoy a good conversation and a good a lunch with.

Although I prefer having a partner that is also into natural food I think I could live with it as long as we would respect each others dietary choices.

On the other hand, with all the talk about epigenetics I wouldn't want to, äääh, make a baby with a girl who puts garbage into her body every day as I think it is unfair to the unborn child ;)