Maybe not exactly what you want to hear, but if your wife is healthy and happy then maybe she doesn't need to change anything. My wife and kids aren't Paleo, and while I would like some small adjustments in my kids' diets (what parent doesn't), I believe that everyone is basically healthy and happy.

Different people tolerate sugar, starch, and fat in different ways. My wife apparently has a very high tolerance for sugar and starch because it causes her no ill effects and her and her entire family on both sides are generally the same way. She can't eat a lot of fatty foods though. I am exactly the opposite, I can eat as much fat as I want, but carbs, especially grain-based, are bad for me.

Unless your wife has some specific issues or complaints, I think it might be a tough row to hoe to get her to change her fundamental diet...

EDIT: one last comment, something I have noticed about the Paleo community and the frequently cited bloggers (Mark Sisson, Kurt Harris, etc) is that virtually every testimonial is "n=1", that is, it works for that individual, and so that person makes a book / blog / self-help series about it trying to help everyone. The basic assumption is, if it works for me then it must work for everyone else in the world. But I just don't buy that. There are different people and different diets. If the Paleo diet were the only way to go, then every top-performing athlete would be Paleo, which isn't the case. This is a long winded way of saying that people without problems often don't need help.

My advice is don't. You continue to change and she will certainly adapt. That is what happened in my family and what my patients have experienced as well. Don't force change on anyone.

My experience is that the more you push something, the more resistant she's going to be. Heck, I still haven't watched movies and TV shows that are probably GREAT because someone talked about them forever and now I don't even want to hear the title mentioned.

As others have said, lead by example. Quietly shop for yourself, cook for yourself. Offer her little bites of your food if she looks interested; split it with her if she likes it. Quietly improve your training, physique, and any gastro problems. Quietly accept compliments from people who've known you forever.

It'll take time. From reading other people here, it can take years. And it may never, ever happen. But no matter what else, if you love this woman, DO NOT let this become a bone of contention between you. Don't let it build up resentment or snotty comments or backhanded compliments. Your marriage is more important than what she is (or is not) eating.

Lead by example and DO NOT preach the "Paleo Gospel". My wife is a solid Primal-style eater now and while I cajoled others (when they questioned my choices) I did not with my wife (I still want to live at home!) and she "converted" herself. She's not as strict as me but it works for her and she's not the one with an autoimmune disorder to worry about - I am - so I can be as hard core as I want. She is happy with her food choices and how they make her feel.

The kids on the other hand...baby steps to get them onside, but again, finding good food that they live and that fits what I think they should eat is the key, not preaching. More flies caught with honey and all that.

I think the best way is simply to cook as much as you can yourself, offering up lots of delicious paleo food even if at first it's lean meat and tons of veggies - serving the cooked veggies with some butter and the salads with EVOO. One would be hardpressed to argue against white rice, potato, sweet potato, winter squashes and other safe starches after reading enough of Paul, Stephan and Chris.

Anyway, it'll be a hard sell if you try to "change her views" but an easier sell if you simply give her enough of the good stuff that the bad falls away.

The things really to be wary of are sugar and n6/linoleic acid/plant oils. Grains aren't great but they're not likely as damaging as the aforementioned toxins.

I would tell her that a friend of yours - Danielle - said she would become insatiable after going Paleo. Does she really need any other reason?

Ok seriously (not that I discount the previous sales pitch at all)...I had posted the following in response to another question about "recruiting converts" to Paleo

"Attraction, not promotion IMO. Let's leave the proselytizing for religion...I suggest you keep your side of the street clean and feel good about the choices you have made to improve your health and inspire others to understand why you have made those choices".

Additionally, I had the same issue with my wife. Here was my chronology with her-

1) Sugar/Fructose - she already was mostly sugar free for several years since Paleo or otherwise, there is not too much convincing regarding the health benefits of sugar elimination. However I still politely asked her to watch the Dr Lustig video (Sugar The Bitter Truth) with me so she understood some of the science behind it. She humored me and at the end said and I quote "1.5 hours to convince me sugar is bad. No shit Sherlock!".

2) She went grain/legume free about 2 years ago because she was low carbing to lose weight. If your wife wants to lose weight, the low carb angle might be helpful and then include information regarding gluten, lectins, phytates, etc.

3) Finally, inclusion of saturated fat in lieu of PUFAs/vegetable oils. This was and is a HUGE challenge for me. First I tried to convince her that the Diet-Heart / Lipid hypothesis was based on bad science (ala Ancel Keys). When that was not sufficient, I had to show her my lipids before and 6 months after Paleo to show her zero impact. Now she has finally (begrudgingly) ditched the egg whites and PAM spray and is eating whole eggs cooked in ghee. But every day I am being second guessed about this. However she saw my research and commitment and therefore continues to stay the course. Time will tell if it lasts.

Bottom line - Danielle was right. I may be a Darwinist, but thank God for insatiability :-)

Have you suggested she try a Whole 30? (Or modified lacto paleo Whole 30 with heavy cream and butter, if the original version is too strict?)

Emphasize, "It's not forever, just for 30 days!"

You could good naturedly make it a bet between the two of you or something, make it fun. Or offer to give up something (or instead to do something) yourself while she undergoes her challenge. You could take on a major, long-deferred chore throughout the month, like organizing and doing a yard sale (and be sure to follow through, and don't involve her! Her effort is the Whole 30!).

If she did Whole 30 in July, and experienced markedly improved digestion, and suddenly was ready to go to Hawaii in August 10 lb. lighter, might end up giving her food (har) for thought.

More on the group of folks doing the July whole 30 here at this thread:

http://paleohacks.com/questions/47004/anyone-else-doing-a-july-whole30-would-you-like-to

Who does the cooking and grocery shopping in your house? If that burden falls squarely on your wife, maybe you should think about helping her out with that. She can see that paleo cooking isn't difficult or weird, you won't have to worry about her cooking things you don't want to eat (you didn't mention if that was a concern or not, I admit). I'm not married. But if my boyfriend tried to convince me to change the way I ate to match him, yet wasn't willing to take over any of the food preparation duties himself, I would be pissed, even though I love to cook. It would be a "if this is so important to you, you had better be willing to put in some effort yourself to help me" kind of thing, you know? I see from this post that you're totally up for that, so that's great!

You might also mention that paleo doesn't have to be super-high in fat or anything. She doesn't have to put butter on everything- I certainly don't! Plenty of people eat potatoes, fruit, and even white rice. You can make great food using leaner meats, fish, vegetables, and tubers. The important thing is to avoid sugar, gluten, vegetable oils, etc. You don't have to go cold turkey on the grains. I phased them out pretty slowly- one week I made it my goal to stop eating all pasta, the next week I started cutting down on bread, etc. For foods I really loved and ate a LOT I went even slower- one week I would eat them, say, only 5 days out of 7. The next 4 days out of 7. Repeat until I was able to just drop them from my diet without much thought or any cravings.

Edit: As for establishing wariness of gluten: if I happen to have to tell someone why I don't eat grains, I never try to tell them that gluten is the cause of all disease known to mankind, mostly because I don't really believe that myself. I just say that grains are calorically dense and more or less nutritionally worthless. I don't think eating wheat will kill me, I just think it's kind of like eating sawdust, when there are so many other foods that taste better and are far more nutritious. You might try that instead of a more alarmist tactic.

Have someone, maybe a family member, child?, or friend gift her with "The Paleo Solution" by Robb Wolfe. Robb is really good at that. The book is well written, interesting and the "geek speak" is there if you require it, otherwise you're encouraged to skip over it and get straight to the goods.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

http://www.archevore.com/get-started/

^^The best starting point.

First, I would not try to scare her into or out of anything. That is a CW tactic, and we know that it does work well for awhile, but at what cost? The issue with her family and food is another huge hurdle. Food isn't just something we eat, it is our culture passed down through many generations, whether it is grandma's pork roast or Aunt Louise's cinnamon rolls. I would suggest that instead of focusing on "gluten-free", focus on bringing friendly foods to the communal table and start (or re-start) your own traditions. This is where the Weston Price folks really have an advantage. Sure, there is data (and sure, paleo folks disagree with some of it), but what could be more friendly than "Nourishing Traditions"? Gosh, I hear that and I can almost smell my Aunt Emily's chicken soup with greens from her garden, can't you? You just take that image, and then just take the noodles out of it.