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1) You spend a plurality, if not a majority of your surfing time on this site. This is significant statement given the amount of time you spend on other sites. You realize that possibly the only positive to the deep slumber of Kurt Harris is that you have more time here.

2) At work you constantly, yet inconspicuously, have a web browser opened with the site and hit F5 (on PC) repeatedly in between and during emails, calls, meetings, etc.

3) You curse the Neolithic Gods of Technology (Gates, Jobs, Chambers, et al) that in spite of having the most powerful computing power one can buy shy of a supercomputer, the screen does not refresh fast enough. You hope Patrik bought the high-availability hosting plan since you are hitting site more frequently than a Chinese cyber attack on the DOD

4) You used to hate the non value-added meetings you would attend as a waste of time. Now you relish them because it is a prime opportunity to do some serious Q&A on PH. Co-workers ignorantly admire your multi-tasking abilities.

5) It’s 9 PM, you just put your daughter to sleep, and decide that you will spend just a few minutes catching up on the latest posts. 4 hours later it is 1 AM and you have to be up in 5 hours with your kid and to get ready for work. You do the sensible thing – spend ANOTHER hour researching about cortisol and sleep deprivation

6) You are at dinner in a restaurant with your wife and friends. You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom…to check the site from your iPhone. After a short while, you do it again. When you return, your friend asks if you are ok. You do the honorable thing – lie and tell them you have a weak bladder. Meanwhile the look your wife gives you tells you just wasted $50 on that bottle of wine because it’s not going to get you anywhere tonight.

7) You ask a question and then refresh, refresh, refresh, ad infinitum…then finally an answer, no wait…an upvote. Rinse, lather, repeat…

8) You answer a question – see previous point

9) You wake up at 3 AM and need to pee. First things first, you go to your den, quickly check your account…dammit no changes…and then relieve yourself. But before you go back to bed, one more screen refresh just in case

10) Finally – you wish the above items were just you being funny, but EVERY one of them is reality and not fiction! I am really serious these are true stories!

I have more but enough already!!! Need to check into rehab stat!!!

So what about you, are you an addict and if so, how does your addiction manifest itself?

EDIT for BaconB - macronutrient, adrenal. Plus bonus - leptin resistance. Oh no he di'nt!

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13 
 I guess Quilt has me beat since he said that he once was about to go into the OR and stepped out to respond to my cholesterol post. He wins...patient loses, oh well. – Aravind Jul 23 2011 at 22:17
2 
 You realize, of course, that you have transformed Paleo-Hacking into an art form. The entertaining and educational links, the masterful writing, the groundbreaking insight, not to mention the comedy - HOLY CORDAIN yes - the comedy - epic (and I MEAN this too!:) – none Jul 23 2011 at 22:38
2 
 At dinner now in the bathroom. What a loser! – Aravind Jul 24 2011 at 1:53
2 
 Nothing to do with my wife, but the friends. If it was just her, I'd be like "hey, gotta drain the main vein and see if I'm getting any props on PH. Be right back. If I'm not back in 5 minutes, wait longer...and order me another drink too" – Aravind Jul 24 2011 at 4:01
3 
 It's that damn orange envelope that magically comes to life upon login. A thrill! What will it contain.. something positive? Negative? Indifferent? Exciting?!?!? Must.Click.Envelope. – jesuisjuba - paleorepublic.com Jul 24 2011 at 4:04
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15 Answers

20

... You have a panic attack when the "A new answer has been posted" message appears while you're writing your answer, because you know someone has just said what you were trying to say--and said it much better than you could ever hope to say it.

... You look for posts with a score of 9 that you haven't upvoted yet, so that you can vote them to 10, hoping that the positive upvote karma may somehow come back to you.

... You spend all day polishing your next question, and you consider consulting "Advertising Hacks" to help you write the title.

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2 
 OMG YES! ...................(the dots just added so I made the character count, oh wait, I just made it by explaining the dots that made the character count x) – WayfinderAli Jul 24 2011 at 1:22
Thanks for the upvote karma! :) – Ed♦ Jul 24 2011 at 12:01
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  • You treat your paleohacks rep points and medals like a World of Warcrafter treats XP and weapons.

  • Seeing the little envelope turn orange gives you a warm tingly feeling inside, especially if it's because people think you are awesome and upvoted you. On the other hand, downvotes and snarky comments precipitate an emotional nosedive.

  • You forgo eating in order to spend more time on paleohacks and justify it by calling it an IF.

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2 
 Love toe WoW reference ;) (I have been playing for about 6 years) – Josh M Jul 23 2011 at 22:21
*the lol - seems I can't type today – Josh M Jul 23 2011 at 22:21
1 
 You alt+tab while in a FL raid to check if anything new has been posted. :) – ComplexRehvenge Jul 24 2011 at 13:58
Thank you for the WoW reminiscing. I miss playing but it's just too much of a time investment these days! – Nutritionator Jul 24 2011 at 14:13
Lol the IF! I skip dinner sometimes because I get caught up reading PaleoHacks then I sleep and consider it IF – mzrdnan Apr 5 2012 at 14:15
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.11. paleoflirting ;)
12. "p" and the enter key brings up paleohacks in your URL bar on both your computer and phone
13. You now associate raccoons and knives
14. You use paleo acronyms in daily conversation but no one understands you
15. BAMBAM is not a cartoon character anymore
16. Its totally cool to post nearly nude photos of yourself on the internet as long as they have a "before and after" tag
17. you post a sweet torso shot with hopes you'll get upvotes from the opposite sex

Also I am extremely guilty of 1 and 7. Like woah. When I'm in camp for the week, I have to suffer through SAD food and loud, bad singing at the camp dining hall. Thank you paleohacks for an entertaining and intelligent (well usually) diversion from the hell of Boy Scout camp meal time. Once I forgot my iphone in my cabin and used one of the kid's ipod touches to check paleohacks while at lunch. As I'm sitting there looking bored, the kid goes "Ali, did you forget your phone again?" nods "want to borrow my itouch?" nods

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Paleoflirting is...well...so Paleo :-) – Aravind Jul 24 2011 at 3:49
12- yes!! I have a PH crush on BAMBAM no shame – Danielle Jul 24 2011 at 23:23
@Danielle- I Think all of us girls have Internet crushes on BAMBAM and JackKronk! – WayfinderAli Jul 25 2011 at 2:58
1 
 Plus one for paleoflirting, is it tag yet? – Adam Crafter Jul 28 2011 at 15:50
1 
 Imagine if we could private message... "I'd like to shred my low-lactose cheese on those abs..." – Danielle Jul 29 2011 at 20:27
12

You think "Sweet! Nobody has responded to this question yet, my chances of an upvote are exponentially higher!"

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Foiled by HappyNow! – LiveBigger Jul 23 2011 at 21:43
4 
 I'm going to take that as my cue to go outside and play in the sun. Just gotta check one more thing...(famous last words). Everyone, please stop being so interesting, I've got chores to do. – Happy Now Jul 23 2011 at 21:47
11

I've been guilty of #5 more times than I'd like to admit.

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10

  • you train yourself to sleep in a bi-phasic pattern so that you can use that naturally occurring 1-2 hours of natural wakefulness to read through questions on PH.

  • you install F.lux on your computer so that surfing PH at night has diminished effects on your sleep after surfing PH.

  • you keep yourself in ketosis and fat adapted to you are not bothered by hunger and thoughts of food while surfing PH.

  • you perform mobility WoD's as your surf PH.

  • after getting an upvote you immediately check your blood sugar level because getting an upvote is so sweet.

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LOL @ mobility WoD's! I sit in a full on grok squat while paleo hacking! – FED at LiveCaveman.com Jul 24 2011 at 0:12
9

You know you're a Paleohacks addict when references to paleobabby or slipping organ meats in chili make you laugh out loud.

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yes............ – being Jul 24 2011 at 2:05
You know you're a Paleohacks addict when you figure out how to evade the 15-character minimum for a comment. That's – Paul Jul 24 2011 at 8:01
5 
 legendary . – Paul Jul 24 2011 at 8:01
5 
 who (ironically?) might not know who doogie houser was – Kamal♦ Jul 24 2011 at 14:39
3 
 Haha thanks kamal. I did just have to go google that though... – mari Jul 24 2011 at 15:29
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7

  • You pretend you are going to "walk" on the treadmill "listening to a podcast" after dinner. Really you are searching deep, deep into the bowels of YouTube to find that "just right" link to embed in the comments section. You do this because you are having a secret throwdown/tryst-thing with another hacker - or three :)

  • You offer risky, controversial answers, but only in the comments section so as not to tarnish your sterling reputation points.

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1 
 I wonder who you are referring to. Hmmmm?!?! – Aravind Jul 23 2011 at 22:32
8 
 Gluten rules! Just try to downvote this, suckers. – Phoenix Jul 23 2011 at 22:37
2 
 Phoenix - no problem, we'll just downvote another post of yours and you'll be wondering "what, who, where the..." – Aravind Jul 23 2011 at 22:41
1 
 Oh you sneaky devil - I'm gonna start goin' agro in comments now. – baconbitch Jul 24 2011 at 0:15
3 
 Comments is where the REAL hacking BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – none Jul 24 2011 at 0:23
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6

You actually have a favorite biochemist.

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Ha ha! Very good! – BaconHealsChic Aug 25 2011 at 22:55
5

You have a dream about living on a farm with PersonMan. Seriously.

I think I need a little break from PaleoHacks.

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3 
 You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude f**ks once or twice a year! You are too much for me PersonMan, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you. – Aravind Jul 24 2011 at 14:05
4 
 PersonMan is a Paleo Legend. – Jack Kronk Jul 24 2011 at 16:28
5

You spend most of the day (and night) contemplating your next blockbuster question and are almost suicidal when you find out some has already asked that.

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3 
 The related one to this - you submit what you are sure is a blockbuster question. Oh yeah, here comes the upvotes baby...but alas, barely any upvotes or even responses. WTF? Like a shrewd marketing campaign by Apple, you carefully re-evaluate the optimal day/time of the week to "launch" your next question. You also realize you need to be mindful of the other hot questions in play since market share acquisition will be difficult if someone else has just released a "hot product. – Aravind Jul 25 2011 at 20:01
4

You use up all your up votes in a attempt to break the spell and move on to other parts of your day, but you stay on paleohacks and make notes to yourself about what smart or funny answers you need to come back 'tomorrow' to up vote.

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that is dedication – Kamal♦ Jul 28 2011 at 15:54
3

You spend all day keeping your mouse set on the minimize button at work while sneak reading just in case your boss walks around the corner.

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2

When you seriously start considering starting a #paleohacks hashtag on Twitter...

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You mean there's not one?! Let's get that shi started! :) – DanielleO812 Apr 12 2012 at 20:21
1

You know by heart the exact time of day that your votes reset so that you can start voting again. You keep a mental (or physical) list of the posts that need votes once your get votes to give again.

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