Stick to your guns...there's plenty of paleo options out there. If your child has only been eating this way then why introduce "fluffy white death" (that's what we call sugars, flours, etc. in our house) when it's not needed? The baby isn't going to care. After raising three kids and going through the whole "first birthday" thing with all three i've realized that as long as the child has boxes to play with, (from the presents), people to ooh and ahh over them, give them attention and hold them when they're tired, THAT is what makes a child happy. That cupcake that Melissa posted is cuter than any "traditional" cupcake i've seen (and I work at a gluten free bakery) and would make a lovely picture opportunity. Remember what the party is for...to remember your childs first birthday with friends, family and good times. Focus on THAT....not on food. You've got him off on a great start, GOOD FOR YOU! Don't let societal peer pressure and what is deemed as "birthday tradition" throw you off that track. You're amazing parents for giving him the start he's gotten already. What a great way to show others how to do it right. You're excellant examples of showing others what kids SHOULD be eating. I hope this doesn't sound preachy, it's not meant to be...just think about it. I hope, that whatever you decide, that this day will be amazing and the memories will bring you joy in the years to come.

If you have a food processor, you can make a raw "cupcake" with nuts and dates, like this woman does. A cheat I've done is you buy a chocolate larabar, split it in two and squish it into a mini-cupcake pan (with liners or use a silicon pan). Then you ice it with coconut butter mixed with honey. Voila...a cupcake of sorts. Here is one that blogger made, which is more fancier than my version.

But honestly, any baker worth their salt will do custom orders. Maybe if you shop around you can find someone who will work with you to find a recipe you like. I'd particularly look on the internet. I have a lot of friends who do low-sugar custom baked goods in the NYC area and they don't have shops, but they take orders over the internet.

on my daughter's first, I lost out on the cake argument, so I just pushed for as traditional recipe as we could find; real butter, cream cheese frosting, etc. Baby didn't even touch it. She wasn't exposed to sweets, and the stress of the party made her not even like the stuff.

There a lot of less-than-lethal options out there for a good compromise. It's a rare occurrence, and providing no allergies may be nothing more than a temporary sugar buzz. The cranky fit following would be enough to reinforce your reasons to raise kids on real food.

The kid will be jumping off the walls but its his first bday - chill out :) However, I found this great gluten free/sugar free carrot cupcake recipe. It has liquid stevia but its the bday!

I don't bake either (can't) so I asked my mom to make them when my kid was little. Or you can ask a friend or neighbor? People are willing to do anything for a baby's 1st bday!

Were I in your position, I would stick to my guns. Until faulty societal norms/expectations are done away with, things like this will remain "an issue".

We made amazing cupcake style muffins with rice flour. Here is the pic of how they turned out. You can use maple syrup, raw honey, or stevia or a combination of those. For 'frosting' there ain't nothing like straight heavy cream whipped up with a pinch of vanilla for flavor.

This combo won't taste like the hyper sweet store bought mix with nasty hydrogenated frosting, but the kids should have never known about those options anyways. I saw let's alter our children's expectations when it comes to this stuff.

:)

Edit: We modified the recipe from the back of the package:

For "Liquid", we used cream.

Sweetener: substitute raw honey and stevia mix. You could use some sugar too. It's not much anyway.

Replace Canola with Coconut oil.

He's only one year old. Who are the cupcakes for? Him or the adults? What is his favorite food? Why not celebrate with that.

Edit: My child & grandchild never had any trouble smearing anything smearable at that age. I have great pics of DGC wearing a frozen strawberry pop (just blended strawberries - VERY red and messy).

Although of course, it's good to keep your marriage intact also.

Well, when my daughter turned 1, I had never heard of Paleo and would not have dreamed of giving her cake. She'd never had it. Was her first experience with whipped cream however. I just filled a cupcake holder with fresh whipped cream. If you are permitting full fat dairy from 1 on, you could try this to satisfy the guests and cameras.

but be prepared; my daughter didn't like hers. I guess I should have expressed and whipped my milk.

And just why do his new memories have to pertain to somebody else's old memories? Convince your wife that he deserves something fresh, new and creative, not recycled memories.

MEMORIES ARE SO IMPORTANT! In our household, you know what a milkshake is? You cup your breasts, shake em up and down and sing milk-shake, milk-shake. This is certainly a better memory and food association for my daughter than a sugary drink in a cup.

These memories do not fade quickly (maybe never). My daughter is only 6, but can't pass up a chance to shake up a boob if its hanging loose while I get dressed.

Pity I did not know about Paleo then or I would have stuck to my guns. Not fair to the kiddies to back track and remove the bad habits we allow. I am still back tracking.

If you teach him a party has to have a cake, then every year you are in the same predicament. And in the end, it's really nothing special. It's the same thing every Tom, Dick and Janet is getting.

Coconut flour is a great alternative to regular flour or even "potato starch" or "rice flour" ingredients that you find in many gluten free recipes. Here is a pretty clean recipe-

http://comfybelly.com/2011/06/very-vanilla-cupcakes-using-coconut-flour/

I would keep it as clean as possible or he may feel sick to his stomach since his body isn't used to grains and white sugar!

Stephanie

I say do it. The pictures are priceless. We had cake for our son's first birhtday - got the great photos - he ate a smidge. This past weekend was his second birthday - I got him a gluten and dairy free cake - again took pictures, but this time he ate maybe 2 bites and was off playing again and eating watermelon.

In my opinion I think it's better to give them the option and have them choose what they want rather than not supplying the option at all. I think you'd be surprised with what the choice is (especially since they're little paleo kids so their sweet taste buds must be just like ours) But that's just my two cents.

Maybe try a flourless chocolate cupcake? I think this is what we are going to do for our daughters birthday when she turns three in September! Well a full flourless chocolate cake. But you can make a cupcake for your kiddo. The ingredients in them are gluten free and delicious. Could even top it with some coconut milk ice cream! Happy early Birthday to your little guy!

You may find a vegan bakery that makes gluten-free items and other options. Otherwise, your pudding idea sounds good, but add some homemade whipped cream. Your wife should get loads of messy-face photos with that concoction.

go for a gluten free cupcake.

if your child had no known intolerance to gluten i would even say let him have regular cake, but since he's never had gluten why trial it on his birthday, ykwim.

moderation is a great thing.

Just let him enjoy a real, proper cake. Nobody will die because of a cake or two litres of ice cream or whatever rubbish, now and then. Don't forget to enjoy life while you're at living healthy.

Birthdays should be special, loosen up I'd say!

One thing to keep in mind, whichever option you choose, is that your baby has no expectations as to what a birthday cake should be. You can cut way back on the sweetener, make it entirely fruit sweetened, or even do a meat cake (meatloaf baked in a cupcake pan) with mashed potatoes (or mashed cauliflower, turnips, sweet potato if you're in the anti-potato camp) for frosting. As long as it has interesting flavors and textures, the baby will be happy and provide amusing photo opportunities.

Of course, others in attendance may prefer a more traditional option.

We didn't do paleo when my boys were little, but they didn't get much sugar anyway. We did the cake thing for their first birthday, and they were both a little horrified. They licked it a few times, then were done. One of them even pushed his cake right off the table, he was so done with it. The pictures are cute, but so are all the non-cake pictures we took that day. I don't think your kid will be missing anything without cake, but I also doubt he'll even eat that much if you offer it to him.

My mother was a celiac kid in the 1960s before they had gluten free anything. In fact, they didn't know what celiac was, her doctor told them she was "allergic to starches." It was only a few years ago that she was tested and diagnosed as celiac.

Anyways, when she was growing up she always had a great big "birthday watermelon" with candles stuck in it. It was always special and she has great memories of it. You could make a ritual like that without having to compromise and eat cake.

You can make a flourless chocolate cake using cocoa powder instead of flour, I do it all the time and its extremely delicious and totally paleo(minus the sugar). Just google chocolate flourless cake.

Here, I made these for a girlfriend of mine who is allergic to gluten. Super easy and I promise that you can do it :) Just don't rush the process and you will have less stress. All in all I think any of the options given to you would be amazing.

They're mini sized, so you could definitely make them full sized, but how cute would a little pyramid of these babies be in front of your baby!? Three would still probably be less than one whole one. You could even put a chocolate dipped strawberry on the top with a puff of whipped cream or that coconut whipped cream that I saw posted, and plunge the candle in. Good luck and happy birthday to your little boy!

1/2 c coconut flour, 6 eggs, 1/2 c palm shortenig, 1/2 c maple syrup, 1/2 tbsp vanilla, 1/4 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt, 1 c frozen raspberries 1/2 cup organic chocolate chips

Oven at 350, mix everything together in your mixer except for the chocolate chips and raspberries. Fold those in at the end by hand. Use cupcake liners, probably party ones to up the fun factor :) fill just shy of the top of the liner, bake for around 30 minutes but test with a toothpick.

Done!

It is his first birthday, you ONLY get 1!!! Let him live it up. You can also try the White Lion Bakery. They are a paleo friendly bakery and have all kinds of goodies. You can even order the cake mix and icing and make it at home yourself. This will give your wife a feeling of accomplishment that she was able to contribute to this special day. Here is a link to their website http://www.whitelionbakingco.com/

My daughter's first birthday was a month ago. I made this recipe for the cake, which is amazing, and I made whipped cream with a little bit of honey and vanilla for frosting. I halved the recipe to make one layer, and cut two circles making a small, personal layer cake for her to dig into. It was really cute. http://www.primal-palate.com/2010/09/happy-birthday-hayley-dark-chocolate.html

My two cents is that he is probably not even going to notice this birthday so you guys are worrying yourselves for nothing. It's later birthdays you are going to have to worry about, when he starts noticing that he is getting different foods from his peers and he is feeling left out when he's not allowed to eat anything when he goes to friend's birthday parties. My advice? Don't do this to him. Teach him about moderation and how it's okay to occasionally have sugar and wheat (unless you definitely know he is allergic, of course) as long as you eat healthful food the rest of the time. These lessons will serve him well in the real world. Even if he turns out to be intolerant of wheat, the occasional cupcake isn't going to kill him. Better to let him live a little and participate in social gatherings. The health benefits of 100% vs. 99% just don't outweigh what he'll get from that.

Since my kids haven't been paleo since birth, I will make them gluten-free cakes (or order them from a bakery) for their birthdays - that way they can eat the same stuff as their friends at their party, etc. They are 8, 5 and 5 though. If they had never had any grains, I wouldn't blow it for their first birthday though! I would make these banana bread muffins (almond meal) and make a cream cheese frosting (cream cheese mixed with a little sugar) for the top. I would probably order regular cupcakes for the rest of the people coming to the party. My kids eat those banana bread muffins for breakfast almost every day and love them (and have since going paleo - there was no "learning curve" with these, they are yummy.) I add a pinch of salt to the recipe and 3 T of honey instead of 2 and bake them in cupcake liners for 22 minutes. I have also made them with pumpkin (canned) instead of bananas (equal amounts) and those are yummy too.

http://robbwolf.com/2011/04/21/recipe-paleo-banana-bread/

I think many posters here are certainly right, It WILL not matter to your daughter. However it seems like it is going to matter quite a bit to your wife. Go Gluten Free but let your wife have the experience she is looking for. More than likely your daughter will fall asleep/not like the taste/want to play with toys and not eat a whole lot of it anyway. Your wife only has this experience with your daughter once, try to understand that it is important to her even if you don't understand why.

I've just been checking out all these good answers, love all the links as well!

Doesn't seem to me like too big of an issue really, its simply a matter of ordering or making a cake or cupcake for the little one that both of you can be happy with. As everyone has said, you'll take those photos and off they will go onto something much more exciting like presents!!!

Back in 92, I made my son's first birthday cake using an apple-honey cake recipe (a Rosh Hashanna dish) and going with whole grains. Topped with blueberry "compote" (warmed in a pan, half pureed, half intact)

This was my mid-ground for the grandparents who were determined to get a cake at the grocery store (so his name could be on it ) and basically a date/dried fruit mold.

can't say it saved the marriage, but it saved the day.

I think anything that stands alone (like a baked good can) can be "frosted" and support a candle will do.

Good luck, and happy birthday to the kiddo.