Everyone has a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to choosing the chunk of dead animal that will be most scrumptious. I'd love to hear them all.
I'll go first: Bacon. Specifically packs of bacon. In order of importance:
1) Firm. Not juicy.
2) Homogenous rectangular shape. Avoid packs that are half of one cut and half of another.
3) Consistent strip of red throughout the length of the cut. About a 2:1 or 3:1 ratio of fat to meat.
I've also had an issue with bacon slices of unequal thickness! It bugged me to no end to have half my bacon end up too crispy (yes, there is such a thing) while other pieces were still chewy. (I bake my bacon, so I can't easily take thinner slices out earlier).
I found a brand that's much more consistent in thickness, but they're often of pretty wonky shape.