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In your opinion, what food (or "food product") symbolizes or represents all that is wrong with the Neolothic Diet? A question was asked previously about the worst neolithic ingredient, but I'm curious about what food item that non-paleo folks eat on a regular basis you consider the most heinous.

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33 Answers

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13

Little Debbie snack cakes. All of them.

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I'm pretty sure the word "hyperpalatable" was coined in response to the 1960 introduction of Oatmeal Creme Pies. – tonysolo Aug 10 2011 at 2:50
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Fresh?! No. way! :-p I have no idea how they can get away with using the word fresh to describe those. – familygrokumentarian Aug 10 2011 at 11:13
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+1 I ate a twin pack of Swiss Cake Rolls nearly everyday after school throughout most of elementary and middle school. hides face in hands – Kimmie Nov 8 2011 at 22:25
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12

Velveeta.

It's not even cheese. It's labeled as a processed food product.

heinous.

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Donuts deep-fried in 1 day old, continuously heated partially hydrogenated soybean oil, with a thick layer of high fructose corn syrup coating. Extra points if it has a fake strawberry fruit filling with additional HCFS and FD&C red 40 aluminum lake.

Hits all the bases: Gluten, fructose, oxidized PUFA's, AGE's, and a possibly carcinogenic food additive for good measure.

IT EXISTS SOMEWHERE.

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9

Store-bought sheet cakes. Yes, even Costco and Sam's Club cakes.

They have:

  • Gluten
  • Sugar
  • High Fructose Corn Syrup
  • Hydrogenated Oils (Yea, that Butt-R-Creme icing isn't made of butter, y'know)
  • Vegetable oils
  • Preservatives
  • Artificial coloring
  • Artificial flavoring

Need I go on...?!

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4 
Let's go buy one for babby's birthday. We shouldn't deprive him. – Karen Aug 10 2011 at 1:27
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And they don't even taste good. What a waste of poison. – nancy64 Aug 10 2011 at 1:41
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I had Halloween-themed cupcakes from Sam's Club once. They used some concoction of dye to make the icing black, and everyone who ate them had brilliant green turds the next morning. It was like shitting out astroturf! Pretty cool actually, lol. – Nemesis Aug 10 2011 at 1:54
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Yep, they taste like shheeeeet! – Adam Crafter Aug 10 2011 at 2:09
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But without them, there would be no cakewrecks.com ! – Tikivana Aug 10 2011 at 5:34
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I'd vote for Atkins Bars ...

Atkins Bar Ingredients

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That's as scary an ingredient list as I can imagine. – trjones Nov 8 2011 at 18:58
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7

Easy.

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I just clicked on your link and the pictures made me throw up in my mouth a little bit - those look GROSS!!! – Thumper Aug 10 2011 at 15:13
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7

Any Neo food that tries to pass itself off as healthy. I hate finding the words "All Natural" only to find a long list of junk ingredients. I think stuff like Sun Chips, Power Bars, Snack Wells, 100 cal snacks, Sugar Free Candy, Gluten Free waffles should be banned for false advertising. My new pet peeve is Veggie Chips. It's a potato chip that is flavored and colored to immitate a vegetable. My friend was buying them thinking she was making a healthy choice until I read the ingredients to her. Don't get me started on all natural ice creams. GRR.

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5

Probably twinkies since they could survive a nuclear holocaust

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5

That nacho cheese sauce that is pumped out of an oil drum at a convenience store.

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I got a baked potato at wendys once for dinner and asked the guy if it was real cheese. He said yes. I got home and that fake shit was smothering my potato. I had a downright fit and my roommate couldn't comprehend why (but then again he's been eating fast food 3 times a day for the past 8 years...) – Danielle Aug 10 2011 at 6:08
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I imagine the nacho cheese sauce is made from Velveeta. I think that stuff is pretty close to caulking. – Chickenosaurus Rex Aug 10 2011 at 19:20
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You beat me to it!! I was going to say CheezWhiz – McMeghann Nov 8 2011 at 21:25
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CINNABUN-REFINED GRAIN-GLUTEN, VEGETABLE OIL-PUFA, TONS OF SUGAR AND SADLY DELICIOUS

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3

All great answers so far... But I'm torn between diet coke and anything else made with artificial sweeteners... BLECH.

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Hot Pockets are nasty.

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This Jim Gaffigan hot pockets standup bit is hilarious. youtube.com/watch?v=Tw7xPaL56Ow – Senneth Aug 10 2011 at 17:21
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3

Olive Garden is what is wrong with everything and everyone.

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I'm torn between donuts and Coke.

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Coke is a good one, because soda is the new American water. – Nance Nov 8 2011 at 19:51
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removing all grain bread products from society (breads, cookies, cakes, cereals, muffins, bagels, etc.) would probably be the biggest bang for your buck if you could only choose one type of neolithic food.

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peanut butter; its like a siren in a jar :(

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It's like spam in a jar. Or miracle whip. Or Fluff. So many bad choices it's impossible to choose. – thhq Aug 10 2011 at 2:22
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Hostess Donettes, covered with powdered sugar, which I was APPALLED to see in the vending machine this afternoon at my Kaiser hospital facility (next to candy, chips, cookies, etc.). They're going to get more than a "suggestion box" letter from me.

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I appalled by the "butt huts" I see outside most hospitals. What is it about medicine that makes people want to smoke and eat bad donuts? – thhq Aug 10 2011 at 2:19
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Deep fried cokacola, funnel cakes, and cotton candy.

Welcome to the county fair, where they serve this stuff just down the lane from the livestock, which you'd he better off eating!

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1

Fat Free Half & Half.

skim milk and HFC.

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Non-Dairy Coffee Creamer is pretty narly stuff too. – Senneth Aug 10 2011 at 17:22
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Little Debbie Snack Cakes are kind of scary.

Here are the ingredients in their vanilla snack cakes:

"Sugar, Corn Syrup, Enriched Bleached Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B1)Riboflavin (Vitamin B2)Folic Acid)Water, Interesterified Palm and Palm Kernel Oil, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oil with TBHQ to Preserve Flavor, Dextrose, Soybean Oil, Toppers (Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Cottonseed and Soybean Oils, Corn Starch, Dextrin, Soy Lecithin, Confectioners Glaze, Red 40 Lake, Yellow 5 Lake, Carnauba Wax, Blue 1 Lake, Natural and Artificial Flavor, Yellow 6 Lake)Egg Whites, Whey (Milk)Emulsifiers (Mono and Diglycerides, Sorbitan Monostearate, Soy Lecithin, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Propylene Glycol Monostearate, Polysorbate 60, Polysorbate 80, Polyglycerol Esters of Fatty Acid)Leavening (Baking Soda, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate)Salt, Corn Starch, Sorbic Acid (to Retain Freshness)Colors (Titanium Dioxide, Turmeric, Annatto Extract)Natural and Artificial Flavors."

http://www.grocerycouponnetwork.com/foodproducts/products.php?Id=42384

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0

anything from McDonalds

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nooooo!!!! coffee is a dollar any size! – being Aug 10 2011 at 3:09
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Protein Bars!

Most junk foods don't try to claim to be healthy. Its not the junk foods that are killing us as much as the "health" foods are in my opinion.

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When I visited Scotland in college I came across a deep fried Mars bar. Pretty sure that has every non-paleo NAD in one bite.

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It's a tie between ready-to-eat frozen hamburgers and deep fried diet coke.

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vegetable oils

(Remember olive is technically a fruit!

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They don't really come close to trans fats. Canola is downright healthy compared to that. – Travis Culp Nov 8 2011 at 18:40
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Egg substitutes. Whole, natural eggs are mother nature's gift to mankind yet we decide to strip all that is good from them and package the result in a convenient little carton so that a fat-fearing populace can feel "healthy".

To think I was one of them just a short while ago... :-O

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Anything I can't pronounce.

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All-purpose Bleached Flour

I heard that before the flour refining process was invented, cancer was nearly unheard of.

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Anything wheat touches.

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Girl Scout Cookies.

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