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I've found that I have to supress the urge to chastise people everywhere for eating poison and for not knowing better!

I have to restrict myself from lecturing on the evils of sugar and wheat

I have to restrain from interrupting someone talking about low fat diet X being the latest greatest

I have to bite my tongue when someone complains about themselves or a loved one with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol or other easily curable "disease" because when I open my mouth to explain, they say "you're no doctor" "my doctor says otherwise" "no way, studies!!! Show that fat is bad for you" really which ones?

No one wants to listen

no one wants to hear that they've been LIED to their entire lives

no one wants to hear that the government has misinformed them and worse MISTRAINED their doctors...

Anyone else feel like they should be shouting from the rooftops but don't want to have to dodge rotting fruit to do so?

I get people that ask me how I lost 105lbs... Then scoff at me and call me stupid when I say i eat fat instead of carbs/sugar, they insist I'm going to kill myself or that their friend X tried diet Y that they read about on the Internet and now they have disease Z

what do we do? How do we break thru the shell and let them hear the truth?

Edit: additional question... how do we paleosmack our childrens athletic coach, who wants to carb load junk food into all the kids?

Edit: wanted to share a little "sigh" story.

At work, we had a luncheon. only "safe" food was a salad. Lettuce. So im grabbing a plate of lettuce so as not to be the only guy sitting around with nothing. Normally Id just skip the meal. 2 slightly overweight guys suggested I take food (I think it was chicken pot pie). I said, I can't. One insisted, no, you want to, but are avoiding it. I replied: no, Im allergic to wheat. The other quickly replied, oh that makes sense why you're so skinny. /facepalm. If you understand that wheat makes you fat... Why do you eat it? /ragequit.

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Credit to Adam Crafter for Neolethal. – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 2:04
Good question/rant. The complacency of the medical establishment is shocking. – Glenn Jun 9 2010 at 2:17
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We pay for studies To create drugs to fix problems that wouldn't exist – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 6:56
@thorsays: thanks for the credit! – Adam Crafter Jun 9 2010 at 16:34
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"You've been told many times before, messiahs pointed to the door, but no one had the guts to leave the temple" the who – Ebice Jun 9 2010 at 20:46
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22 Answers

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I sometimes preface my response to "how did you do it?" with a smile and the statement "You would not believe me if I told you."

For some reason, this lets more people actually listen critically, and I'm not sure why humans are wired to believe new-to-them information if they think it is some sort of hidden knowledge.

and Yes yes yes, I sometimes want to shout at people who are about to kill themselves by another (waistline) inch with that next poor/evil/bad food choice... I make myself wait to be asked, it gives me some small chance of being heard.


Now that I am much shrunk from my prior state, those who did not know the bigger me seem to be thinking I always looked like this.

Flattering, yes, but I've lost one of my strong 'proofs' for paleo-based body change.

No, I'm not going to start carrying around a before picture, that would creep out my id AND ego.


Update2: I seem to have gotten a bit younger in my appearance... Most express strong doubts that I am in my 40s. I tell them that I've been aging slower as I eat ia paleo style.

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Love it. Gonna try it – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 20:31
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This is the approach I use as well and it really seems to set people at ease. VERY few people want to be preached at about anything let alone something that flies in the face of what they've been 'fed' their whole lives. – Corey Jun 10 2010 at 14:24
Really great! This would work on me! – Pieter D Jun 10 2010 at 18:17
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My answer to "how did you do it?" is "Bacon and eggs every morning." – John R Jul 28 2010 at 10:46
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Hi Adam, I also recently used "you wouldn't believe me if I told you." Worked well, thanks. I think it sets up the right tone between you and the person you want to give you a chance. – Paul Sep 28 2010 at 13:33
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A very famous historical figure once said something I think you should heed:

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast
ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them
under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
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Another famous historical figure said, "Act, but do not reflect on the fruits of the act." Tell people if they ask, but don't get all bent out of shape if they don't hear what you're saying. – John R Jul 28 2010 at 11:38
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live by example ..if they ask i tell if they laugh oh well..im not here to convert people the only time im upset is with my family and the crap they feed the kids but i dont know what its like as i have none of my own so i cant really talk.....people dont respond to preaching usualy and are lazy too,,it usualy takes somthing drastic like disease or obesity to spark somthing in most...just what i think...let them have their S***t and Eat it too...i feel and look better and ill tell them how im doing it if they care thats how i feel

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"if they ask I tell if they laugh oh well" - I love it!! Rhymes too :) – archaea Jun 9 2010 at 7:18
I'm with you, Joe. Live by example and those who want the same results will truly want to know how you attained those results. – tattooedchef Jun 9 2010 at 10:46
"the only time im upset is with my family and the crap they feed the kids" ****This is only thing that sometimes bothers me, too. Other than that i dont really give a hoot what others do. People that know me ask how i keep fit with little to no exercise and i tell them - thats it, simple. But when i see people in my extended family feeding their kids crap, i feel the urge to speakout/recommend a book/etc – ben61820 Jun 9 2010 at 13:44
Same here. Co-worker's heckle me, I laugh it off and keep on truckin. Then I see my parents (both overweight) eating "healthy" and wondering why they cant lose weight. I've tried to help, but it's a fine line to walk. I agree with what other people above mentioned, nobody likes figuring out they have been lied to. Whether it be dietary, financial, etc... it all ties in – Todd Nov 17 2010 at 18:49
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I have learned to only give advice when people ask for it. And trust me, I know what you mean and still often feel the urge to preach.

Also, leading by example seems to help, especially for the people I care about and love. My wife was a bit skeptical at first, but bit by bit she changed.

People often thinks the evolutionary approach makes a lot of sense, but in the end they always ask something like: and what about your liver with all that fat? or: don't you have to watch you cholesterol? or: you look fine but you'r still young. or: really interesting, but every week there is a new diet? or... You probably all know these excuses.

Currently trying to convince my parents. They eat butter again!! They lessen their sugar! Next step: grains!

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Sold my mom pretty quick on all of it. My dad was already fairly healthy in that he avoided most processed junk, got him off soy immediately. still working on grains tho. My daughter loves the fats etc, she's not broken of her sweet tooth yet, although I do not allow her to indulge she still asks about sugar sugar and have to turn her down and give non sweet treats instead – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 7:07
Pieter, congratulations on the butter victory. All the best with the grain project. – PaleoGran May 25 2011 at 15:30
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I love the whole9 health elevator pitch ('tis a bit of a mouthful though) when trying to let people know how you lost weight, have loads of energy, clear skin etc.

I eat “real” food – fresh, natural food like meat, vegetables and fruit. I choose foods that are nutrient dense, with lots of naturally-occurring vitamins and minerals, over foods that have more calories but less nutrition. And food quality is important – I’m careful about where my meat comes from, and buy produce locally and organically as often as possible.

It’s not a low calorie “diet” – I eat as much as I need to maintain strength, energy and a healthy weight. In fact, my diet is probably much higher in fat than you’d imagine. Fat isn’t the enemy – it’s a great energy source when it comes from high quality foods like avocado, coconut and nuts. And I’m not trying to do a “low carb” thing, but since I’m eating vegetables and fruits instead of bread, cereal and pasta, it just happens to work out that way.

Eating like this is good for maintaining a healthy metabolism, and reducing inflammation within the body. It’s been doing great things for my energy levels, body composition and performance in the gym. It also helps to minimize my risk for a whole host of lifestyle diseases and conditions, like diabetes, heart attack and stroke.

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IMO no one can hear what they are not ready to hear. Preaching (even though you are right) will only make them turn off the message. I would absolutely answer questions from people - start with simple answers - don't lay it all out for them at once. Let them know that if they want to know more, you'd be glad to answer any other questions or point them info resource - IF they seem interested in your preliminary answers. If they are hostile, with the "you're going to die" type response, I would just say something like "Well, in my experience, this is working very well for me (I've lost xx pounds)" and leave it at that, unless they follow up with a curious or respectful question. If it's hostile still, you should probably agree to disagree.

I'm giving better advice here than I am sometimes able to follow myself. The urge is strong to try and save/better the lives around us, but I've found over and over that that info overload or preaching just doesn't work. Let them watch what happens to you, and if they become ready to hear, they'll come to you.

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"Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conqured by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone." Ayn Rand

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Yes, yes, yes - I feel all those frustrations! I have to try to stop myself from being preachy or arrogant, and I suspect I sometimes don't succeed. Oops. Overall, I think you need to let people ask you, rather than broach it yourself, and try and give fairly topline answers at first, then go onto the science stuff if they ask more.

The guys from Whole9 were on Robb Wolf's show the other week, and said that instead of saying 'you can't eat grains etc', they talk about what they do eat, and how it makes them feel, and some of the benefits.

Sally Fallon from Weston A Price reckons all the dumb, lazy people who keep eating crap will die out, and the healthy people will rule the earth. OK, I am paraphrasing, but seriously, that's what she thinks. And I have to say, when the fat person in front of me at the checkout is buying six bottles of coke and tons of white bread, I think I must agree!

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Except our taxdollars will pay for their healthcare, our costs will go up to manage their illnesses. Billions of our dollars will go to developing drugs to manage their problem, instead of just stopping them from eating poison – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 6:54
Yes, very true and very sad. – Belinda Jun 9 2010 at 23:43
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The paleodiet has now gone viral, and is breaking into the mainstream with articles and coverage in the mainstream press (although it's reported simply as a curiousity). There are also some honest-to-god studies underway which should make knowledge of the diet spread even faster. I bought Cordain's book in 2002 when it was still in hardcover, and started the diet then. It made a lot of sense to me on an intuitive level and I lost over 20 pounds in 2 months. When people asked how I did it and I explained the diet, they were basically dismissive, despite the evidence right before their eyes. In my experience, the single biggest problem people seem to have is with grain-based foods, especially bread.

"But bread is low fat." "it's the staff of life." "there's nothing healthier than pasta, what do you think marathoners eat it for?" "like cavemen? sounds like male-oriented marketing hype to me."

Grains, and foods made from them, are so culturally entrenched that it takes a paradigm shift before people can see the problems with eating them. The people I was talking to had such a problem with the idea that grains were unhealthy that they mentally shut down and didn't hear much of the rest of my explanation. I may as well have been telling them that the earth is flat and I have evidence.

So I stopped explaining. I simply said how much weight I lost, how healthy I now was, and what I ate, and that agricultural foods are so unhealthy that they should be regarded as starvation food only. If they had other questions, I answered them. I have faith that with time, and more and more paleos out there, the word will spread. And so will better health.

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I don't care what other people (aside from close friends and loved ones) eat. I really don't. Their choices are not my problem. If they ask me what I'm doing, I tell them. If they don't choose to believe me, that's not my problem either. Why get frustrated about something I can't control? That's definitely not paleo.

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I've never been overweight or had any serious health issues so when I try to explain that there are certain foods I don't eat people can't understand why. I've started saying I'm Paleo for political reasons as I pour a big dollop of heavy cream into my coffee. ('Wheat is murder' is my new catchphrase - thanks Paleosister) I do get the urge to preach but I've come to realise that people who don't want to listen can always come up with an argument against everything so there is no point. On the other hand just generally chatting about my reasons with a bit of humorous self-deprecation thrown in "I know I'm weird but..." has led two of my co-workers to give it a go - one of whom has lost over 30lbs in 5 weeks. The biggest tongue-biting will have to be reserved for my 20 year-old niece who gets home from university this week having just turned vegan. I know there will be nothing I can say to someone newly converted and utterly convinced of their own self-righteousness. I think I'll just put her in the same room as my 16 year-old, anarchist daughter who has just read The Vegetarian Myth and stand well back.

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What about "vegetarians" that barely exist on cheese pizza and soda telling me I have 5 lbs of meat in my intestines! That's what I have to deal with!

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I let them know that's false, then point out my proteins are stored in muscle and their sugars are stored in that nice spare tire... – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 9:06
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Tell that d*mn coach that they are YOUR children and you , the parent, are legally responsible for their health and upbringing ........... BY LAW !

They must stop trying to derail your family's values. You could sue or just take your kids out of that curriculum .......... after all which is more important? I am sure you can find a pastime to jazz your kids up. Luck, Shirley

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Oh the coach won't feed my kid crap, but feeding the rest of the team pizza in front of my kid makes me mad... Oh well... – Stephen-Aegis Jul 28 2010 at 21:55
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I am judgmental. Especially at those whom I have pointed out how I have done this with very little effort and they say "It's just so hard". Having been obese I can tell you that the effort in eating this way is nothing compared to being 100 pounds overweight and just getting up in the morning to face the day as some sort of land whale. Then there are those who have the mentality that they must suffer to lose weight and by trying to do so they "try" but in an effort to make it miserable they make it too miserable and then say it is too hard.

Now I try really hard to keep to myself unless someone asks about how I lost weight. I do find myself referencing my weight loss a bit because of how it affects my job and attire and other considerations, so that can be a lead in.

I find myself having to hold my tongue and work hard to contain the disgust when I see parents with young kids who are obese to the point of having fat rolls. Having been the fat kid all of my life and just recently in my mid-late 30's finally getting fit this strikes a deep nerve.

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Yes, but I don't keep my mouth shut although maybe I should. I think that people that come to Paleo are problem solvers so we see and want to fix other people's problems as well. You are right though about resistance. I'll tell people all about the diet, they'll say "wow, that really does make sense," and then they'll go right on eating the way they always ate. The emphasis on fat seems very hard for people to accept, the dropping of processed food and grains people seem a bit more open to

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A few of the smarter ones have jumped on board, many are reluctant simply to give up the convenience of processed food – Stephen-Aegis Jun 9 2010 at 6:55
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amazing how convenient it is to be fat and get cancer after years of processed food, amirite? – MikeD Sep 14 2010 at 17:19
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We are bombarded with so many health and nutrition "truths" and that makes people defensive about their choices. Many institutions are complicit and it keeping an open mind is difficult.

I just wait until they ask. If they are curius and persist I will copy an article for them or send them to a website. My friends are older, generally accepting and non-judgemental. A vegan friend cooks special meals for me when we are entertained at their house.

My outrage is barely contained when i see what parents allow kids to put in their mouths. When I stop for gas at a convenience store I have to bite my tongue.

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Would you rather be right or happy??
That's what I like to keep in mind ;-)

Nice thread.

Marc

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I'd rather be healthy. – Adam Crafter Apr 4 2011 at 22:11
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No- it is not my place to get anger. I can help explain but in no way do I want to act like a missionary bent on conversion over logic.

SET AN EXAMPLE. When people say- "You look great." Be great, not an ass.

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Not anger, frustration, these are friends and colleages that I'd like to see healthy... No grok don't eat that plant it made Duroc sick last week – Stephen-Aegis Jul 28 2010 at 11:54
And don't assume we act like asses either, coercion and explanations ae what's happening, the frustration is internal – Stephen-Aegis Jul 28 2010 at 11:55
I hope I didn't apply that you or anyone else act like asses but I know some do. I don't like how some paleo blogs are full of arrogance and disdain for others. This is not good for a group ( us) that need to extend our voices beyond the choir. – pjnoir Jul 29 2010 at 2:51
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No, if other people ate this way, grassfed meat might be more expensive. Supply and demand and whatnot :)

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I beg to differ. Competition drives down prices, need in the market increases supply. Those producing meat will produce what we demand. – Stephen-Aegis Mar 23 2011 at 18:02
And if the corn soy an wheat plantations were reclaimed I think we'd be fine – Stephen-Aegis Mar 23 2011 at 18:03
I think M. was being facetious. – tremendo Mar 26 2011 at 13:14
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I think it is obvious that homo sapiens are the least intelligent creatures on Earth. Enlightening anyone can be very frustrating. Is it worth your stress? Galileo said the world is round, so they locked him away for the restof his life.

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Correction: Galileo said nothing about the shape of the earth and he was not locked up for life. Rather, he proposed that the sun is the center of the universe. Clearly we now know that he was seriously mistaken, the sun is definitely not the center of the universe and the Catholic church had a good case that at the very least he was incorrect and probably uttering blasphemies. As far as we know the earth is the only planet with intelligent life on it so it could be argued that metaphorically the earth indeed is the center of the universe just as the scriptures teach – Earl Cannonbear Jun 9 2010 at 13:05
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Pretty much all the vegetarians/vegans I know are overweight to some extent from mildly to quite obese. WTF, Mountain Dew is vegetarian, right? It is a challenge to refrain from comment, but I do. Last thing I want to do is come off as another strident food activist who turns people off to the message.

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A coworker was asking me about the Paleo way of life. I started explaining using simple, basic examples (Panu 12 steps as an example). He then proceeded to tell me I sound like some kid that just discovered religion and how it's the only true way. – Todd Nov 17 2010 at 19:03
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My family is annoyed by me and at times angered by me because I am EXTREMELY judgmental.

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