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Hi all. I have an ex who is seriously questioning my "experimenting" with our children on a "fad diet" and I need some help in justifying it to him. He says there us no scientific "proof" paleo is better than general American diet, and that "Humans eat grains for a reason. People have reaped and cultivated grains for thousands of years for some reason (lving longer and doing more than cavemen)and to deny kids of it is not wise. Until there is scientific Proof - i dont think it is good to subject the children to this." Advise?

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Whether you're LC or not, I think the presentation Dr. Eenfeldt just put up is an outstanding, clear, simple introduction to the problem with the standard western diet, and the (mostly) paleo-compatible principles of our alleged fad diet: dietdoctor.com/… – Rose Sep 7 2011 at 1:24

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Probably just thinks that quality food costs more and doesn't want it to increase child support payments. If anything, it should make it cheaper for him since they won't have as many medical bills.

Replacing gluten-grains with rice and potatoes shouldn't be an issue. Making your kids go VLC is questionable at best though.

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I'd ask him for proof that the SAD is healthy! This link from MDA might be a good one to send him; http://www.marksdailyapple.com/why-grains-are-unhealthy/

Good luck, I hope he comes around.

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Repeat after me: You are an EX therefore it is NONE of your business

Adding on since the other called me out about the parentage thing.

I'd say in that situation: "It's hardly hurtful for the children to be on this diet. All it entails is meat, and vegetables and fruit in it's purest form. While it is a lifestyle choice that I am choosing for them, it's impossible for it to be harmful for me to feed my children vegetables, fruit and meat"

read below... I had already said I hadn't realize he was the dad... please read my comments before you flame me please... it was a simple misread

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Mmmm...see what you mean, but if he's the father...well, I'd be concerned about getting him on board too. Especially if he's still involved w/the kids, which he seems to be. – Rose Sep 6 2011 at 22:50
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Not cool........Dads have rights too. In this case he is completely wrong but that still does not mean his opinion about his kids should not matter. – The Quilt Sep 6 2011 at 23:11
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Agreed with The Quilt. – Patrik Sep 7 2011 at 0:03
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Might be your ex, but not your kids' ex. – Happy Now Sep 7 2011 at 0:08
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I'll give you some points back, Erin. I understand that you misread, even though I myself have never been mistaken in my life. ;) – Rose Sep 7 2011 at 1:20
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It's difficult to convince someone who doesn't have an open mind to such paradigm shifts. After all most of us have spent a life time of being told that whole grains are healthy, saturated fats are bad, etc, etc. I sometimes wonder how I got here myself, I was fit and healthy before going paleo and I'm kind of stubborn when I think I'm right - yes I used to eat a lot of whole grains because they were good for me, ha.

I can understand why people would think paleo is yet another fad diet type when they're are just looking at the surface. "What type of diet doesn't let you eat bread? What the hell am I meant to eat if I can't eat bread??"

I think you need to get your ex on a paleo diet, so he can see for himself the benefits. So you're going to have to help educate him on why he should try such a diet.

Personally I would buy and give him (or at least loan) Robb Wolf's Paleo Solution and Mark Sission's Primal Blue Print. And then point him at the relevant online resources, success stories etc - Everyday Paelo comes to mind as Sarah's blog is very much geared towards kids and family. Hopefully he will see and experience for himself that a SAD is a poor way to eat and there are much better alternatives.

Best of luck, a tricky situation.

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I love Rhubarbs suggestions. Keep your eyes peeled, follow a ton of blogs, read a ton, basically You must do the work here. Make a binder of articles. and GIVE him copies of the book. and everytime you exchange the kids, have another article to give him. – Senneth Sep 7 2011 at 16:12
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I agree with The Quilt. It would be important to get ex onboard if you want consistancy in your children's diet. There are so many good articles online to show him.

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Is this truly about the kids. In other words, so you believe he's being reactionary because of his relationship with you (and thus, he'll challenge almost any big change you make.) Perhaps by changing your diet, he feels like you are somehow attacking his fitness as a parent or his own life-style? Or do you believe he is truly concerned about his children's health and really believes the diet they ate previously is healthy? If it's the former, you may need to back off and just do what you can at home with the kids. Maybe they will start making healthier choices at Dad's house and he will slowly come around. If he truly is concerned about the kid's nutrition or some other aspect of a Paleo life-style (such as peer acceptance and social experiences), then slow steady education about why you want to embrace a Paleo life-style and a willingness to discuss his concerns openly while suggesting acceptable compromises might be in order. Sometimes a drastic change isn't best for a family. Sometimes slow and steady progress towards a healthier lifestyle is the right choice, especially if it lets reluctant family members have the time and space they need to accept change instead of feeling upset and threatened by it (and possibly cutting off any further possibility of discussion or willingness to support your decision.)

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It's been in the mainstream news not so long ago:

http://www.news.com.au/technology/sci-tech/a-grey-matter-of-size-brains-arent-what-they-used-to-be/story-fn5fsgyc-1226074059863

Scientists have found that modern-day people are about 10 per cent smaller and shorter than their hunter-gatherer forebears.

Most of the decline has happened in the past 10,000 years, and has been accompanied by a 10 per cent decline in brain size.

The research reverses the popular belief that humans have grown taller and larger.

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The decline in stature may be linked to agriculture, which began about 9000 years ago.

I was even surprised that it made the news, but I guess the general audience wouldn't add two plus two and make the connection anyway ...

But here's the science - that's what agricultural products did to us. So, ask him - does he want smaller children with shrunk brains?

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I don't agree with your leap in logic here. This decline in stature and brain size may be connected to the nutritional value of diet, but it may also be connected to the change in life-style and food-gathering skills that people experienced when they began to build agricultural settlements. Of course many people on the Paleo diet try to mimic paleolithic exercise patterns too, but I'm sure the skills involved with gathering most of your food on a daily basis took a different skill-set and needed brain function than a day in the wheat field. These types of changes are what evolution is about. – Heidi Oct 29 2011 at 4:37
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In my opinion, I would lay off convincing him of anything for awhile. In the meantime, feed your kids the way you want to when you can--start educating/brainwashing them subtly. Then I would go back to him when you are in a good spot with eachother and ease into the conversation again. I think you'll just solidify his objections more right now while he is being obstinate. It may put the kibosh on the whole thing and cause a competition unless you back off now.

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