1) You spend a plurality, if not a majority of your surfing time on this site. This is significant statement given the amount of time you spend on other sites. You realize that possibly the only positive to the deep slumber of Kurt Harris is that you have more time here.
2) At work you constantly, yet inconspicuously, have a web browser opened with the site and hit F5 (on PC) repeatedly in between and during emails, calls, meetings, etc.
3) You curse the Neolithic Gods of Technology (Gates, Jobs, Chambers, et al) that in spite of having the most powerful computing power one can buy shy of a supercomputer, the screen does not refresh fast enough. You hope Patrik bought the high-availability hosting plan since you are hitting site more frequently than a Chinese cyber attack on the DOD
4) You used to hate the non value-added meetings you would attend as a waste of time. Now you relish them because it is a prime opportunity to do some serious Q&A on PH. Co-workers ignorantly admire your multi-tasking abilities.
5) It’s 9 PM, you just put your daughter to sleep, and decide that you will spend just a few minutes catching up on the latest posts. 4 hours later it is 1 AM and you have to be up in 5 hours with your kid and to get ready for work. You do the sensible thing – spend ANOTHER hour researching about cortisol and sleep deprivation
6) You are at dinner in a restaurant with your wife and friends. You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom…to check the site from your iPhone. After a short while, you do it again. When you return, your friend asks if you are ok. You do the honorable thing – lie and tell them you have a weak bladder. Meanwhile the look your wife gives you tells you just wasted $50 on that bottle of wine because it’s not going to get you anywhere tonight.
7) You ask a question and then refresh, refresh, refresh, ad infinitum…then finally an answer, no wait…an upvote. Rinse, lather, repeat…
8) You answer a question – see previous point
9) You wake up at 3 AM and need to pee. First things first, you go to your den, quickly check your account…dammit no changes…and then relieve yourself. But before you go back to bed, one more screen refresh just in case
10) Finally – you wish the above items were just you being funny, but EVERY one of them is reality and not fiction! I am really serious these are true stories!
I have more but enough already!!! Need to check into rehab stat!!!
So what about you, are you an addict and if so, how does your addiction manifest itself?
EDIT for BaconB - macronutrient, adrenal. Plus bonus - leptin resistance. Oh no he di'nt!
... You have a panic attack when the "A new answer has been posted" message appears while you're writing your answer, because you know someone has just said what you were trying to say--and said it much better than you could ever hope to say it.
... You look for posts with a score of 9 that you haven't upvoted yet, so that you can vote them to 10, hoping that the positive upvote karma may somehow come back to you.
... You spend all day polishing your next question, and you consider consulting "Advertising Hacks" to help you write the title.
You treat your paleohacks rep points and medals like a World of Warcrafter treats XP and weapons.
Seeing the little envelope turn orange gives you a warm tingly feeling inside, especially if it's because people think you are awesome and upvoted you. On the other hand, downvotes and snarky comments precipitate an emotional nosedive.
You forgo eating in order to spend more time on paleohacks and justify it by calling it an IF.
.11. paleoflirting ;)
12. "p" and the enter key brings up paleohacks in your URL bar on both your computer and phone
13. You now associate raccoons and knives
14. You use paleo acronyms in daily conversation but no one understands you
15. BAMBAM is not a cartoon character anymore
16. Its totally cool to post nearly nude photos of yourself on the internet as long as they have a "before and after" tag
17. you post a sweet torso shot with hopes you'll get upvotes from the opposite sex
Also I am extremely guilty of 1 and 7. Like woah. When I'm in camp for the week, I have to suffer through SAD food and loud, bad singing at the camp dining hall. Thank you paleohacks for an entertaining and intelligent (well usually) diversion from the hell of Boy Scout camp meal time. Once I forgot my iphone in my cabin and used one of the kid's ipod touches to check paleohacks while at lunch. As I'm sitting there looking bored, the kid goes "Ali, did you forget your phone again?" nods "want to borrow my itouch?" nods
You think "Sweet! Nobody has responded to this question yet, my chances of an upvote are exponentially higher!"
you train yourself to sleep in a bi-phasic pattern so that you can use that naturally occurring 1-2 hours of natural wakefulness to read through questions on PH.
you install F.lux on your computer so that surfing PH at night has diminished effects on your sleep after surfing PH.
you keep yourself in ketosis and fat adapted to you are not bothered by hunger and thoughts of food while surfing PH.
you perform mobility WoD's as your surf PH.
after getting an upvote you immediately check your blood sugar level because getting an upvote is so sweet.
You know you're a Paleohacks addict when references to paleobabby or slipping organ meats in chili make you laugh out loud.
You pretend you are going to "walk" on the treadmill "listening to a podcast" after dinner. Really you are searching deep, deep into the bowels of YouTube to find that "just right" link to embed in the comments section. You do this because you are having a secret throwdown/tryst-thing with another hacker - or three :)
You offer risky, controversial answers, but only in the comments section so as not to tarnish your sterling reputation points.
You have a dream about living on a farm with PersonMan. Seriously.
I think I need a little break from PaleoHacks.
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