If you really want visible abs, then you may have to recalibrate to get them, but you may also have to deal with the fact that your body may not "want" you to have them. You may also have a bit of loose skin that needs time to tighten up, so you'd have to spend a bit of time with what may be an unnaturally low level of subcutaneous fat.
You sound rightfully skeptical of the idea that everyone is (or should be) walking around year-round with visible abs and their board shorts pulled down to their pubes to show off their sweet dicklines. If you really want this, then by all means do what needs to be done to achieve it, but don't do it just to live up to some visual ideal of greatly exaggerated ubiquity. Girls look just fine without visible abs and always have. Don't be too rough on yourself.
You enjoy CF, so keep doing it, but realize that as prescribed, it's not the most recovery-friendly regimen. I personally think that "overtraining" is tossed around too often, but some of the CF programming strikes me as specifically designed to turn certain people's bodies into cortisol distilleries. Just dial it back if you need to, it's not a sign of weakness or sloth.
I'm not saying don't take steps to improve yourself or work hard, just make sure you're doing things because you want to, not because you think you should want to. I'm sure you're intelligent enough to make that determination, so please don't think I'm being patronizing - I wrestle with the same sorts of issues. The world is a rough enough place without us beating ourselves up. :)