So here's some background:
I am currently working as a farming apprentice, and I've been noticing a distinct lack of motivation and drive to perform well at my job. My boss is an extremely negative person, and while we get along most of the time, he always feels a need to criticize my work. To top it off, I never get any positive feedback, so it can be really discouraging (and feel completely pointless) when I go above and beyond. I feel like nothing is ever good enough for him, and if I did attempt to perform to his expected standard, I'd completely burn out, both physically and emotionally. The fact that I've been struggling has really taken a toll on my self-esteem, which has increased my self-doubt and depressive tendencies, and ultimately affected my energy and motivation. It's a viscous cycle. I have little motivation to do well at my job because I'm depressed, but I'm depressed because I can't seem to get it together at my job.
My apprenticeship is ending in a few weeks, and I'm currently on the job hunt. As you can imagine, my current mental state is less than ideal when trying to convince a potential employer that I'm a good hire (and of course coming from a farming background isn't opening a ton of doors either). How on earth am I going to convince anyone that they should hire me if my current job has made me completely doubt my worthiness as a worker and employee? I feel so overwhelmed by negative thoughts and self-criticism since I can't seem to get it together. I want to succeed and do well, but I'm just so down on myself that everything seems like a struggle.
So I guess my question is how can I use aspects of the paleo lifestyle to re-build my self-esteem and confidence? Social bonding is limited, unfortunately. Did I mention that I live on a 160 acre farm with just my boss? I'm very isolated. I haven't been officially diagnosed with depression, but I'm wondering if that is what I'm suffering from. I'm pretty sure my boss just thinks I'm lazy and unobservant. I follow a paleo diet but I've been eating way too much sugar recently, and I'm wondering whether getting that under control could help. I'm fairly active since I have to do chores all day. Ugh, I just want to feel good about myself again. I feel like I failed at my first post-college job, and it's a sucky feeling.