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Quick question about my balls.

I've got three at the moment. One inflatable ball that I keep at the office and haven't used in forever, one that I have at home and use very sporadically to toss around, and one from a set of those little Chinese exercise balls used for relaxation. Balls are truly amazing things, and I feel like I am under-utilizing mine. How do you use balls? Do you exercise with medicine balls? De-stress by tossing one against the wall, like House MD? Anything I'm missing from the wide world of balls?

And on a very distantly related note, do you ever form random foods into balls? Like rice balls, ground liver balls, coconut balls, dark chocolate balls, etc etc?

:)

---EDIT---
There was a vote to close this question. Please folks, keep your answers on topic. If you answer without mentioning either balls or nutsacks, I might have to delete your answer. We have to keep the ball+nutsack to noise ratio high.

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27 
Semi-related question about my nutsack. Sometimes I want to carry a small amount of paleo snacks somewhere that I made myself. But I don't like using plastic baggies, for no good reason. Does anyone use a snack-pouch made out of a cool natural material, like burlap? – Kamal Nov 11 2011 at 3:50
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I don't recommend burlap if your snack is salty chocolate balls. It tends to impart hairy bits upon sticky balls. I recommend a small velvet satchel filled with seeds for snacking. That way you can feel magical and unsticky while traveling. – lunabelle Nov 11 2011 at 4:02
4 
Buckskin and or lambswool. Not really, but you gave me a great craft idea for some extra materials I've had laying around. – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:04
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You know what looks awesome in old cartoons? When the main character is really hungry and someone takes him in and he starts eating a big turkey leg and tearing off pieces of crusty bread. What does this have to do with anything? I don't know. It's not even paleo. – Kamal Nov 11 2011 at 4:09
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The best food balls are without a doubt Schweddy Balls: youtube.com/… – Rose Nov 11 2011 at 15:52
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20 Answers

44

I've always been told that the balls should not be neglected, although it's easy to forget to play with them when distracted by other activities. But I know that playing with balls develops joint strength, while also increasing power, and especially speed. But that increase in speed sometimes comes at a cost to the snatch, which should not be rushed but done in a smooth, continuous motion.

Since I don't have balls of my own, but use my husband's instead, I confess I don't know the effect of ball play on the clean & jerk, but perhaps some of the power lifters here with balls of their own can chime in on that.

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11 
And it's Rose for the win. – Shari Bambino Nov 11 2011 at 4:33
7 
Touche, Rose. Touche. – Kamal Nov 11 2011 at 4:33
11 
Lady knows her balls, that's for sure. – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:34
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I keep reading this answer over and over again. It's amazing. Can you submit it to the New Yorker or something? – Kamal Nov 11 2011 at 4:35
6 
Rose - so hot right now. I feel like I am no longer needed here with this kinda rapist wit. Into the sunset.... – Aravind Nov 11 2011 at 13:19
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15

I generally just play with my balls. I mean what good are balls if u can't play with them

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5 
I agree! Ever toss them at people just to get their attention? – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:01
3 
All the time I'm throwing my balls at the wall, seeing what will stick. – wjones3044 Nov 11 2011 at 6:31
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Well I'm ever upper-class high society God's gift to ballroom notoriety And I always fill my ballroom The event is never small The social pages say I've got The biggest balls of all

I've got big balls I've got big balls They're such big balls And they're dirty big balls And he's got big balls And she's got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing And my ballroom always full And everybody cums and cums again If your name is on the guest list No one can take you higher Everybody says I've got Great balls of fire

I've got big balls Oh, I've got big balls And they're such big balls Dirty big balls And he's got big balls And she's got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all

Some balls are held for charity And some for fancy dress But when they're held for pleasure They're the balls that I like best My balls are always bouncing To the left and to the right It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night

Oh, we've got big balls We've got big balls We've got big balls Dirty big balls He's got big balls She's got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all

Oh, we've got big balls We've got big balls We've got big balls/And I'm just itching to tell you about them Dirty big balls/Oh we had such wonderful fun He's got big balls/Seafood cocktail She's got big balls/Crabs But we've got the biggest balls of them all/Crayfish

Oh, bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers

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3 
Shelley and Keats are overrated. Bon Scott lives! – Rose Nov 11 2011 at 15:50
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I'm old school too Rose – Aravind Nov 11 2011 at 15:51
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...bollocks, knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks (it's like a mantra) knackers Bollocks, knackers Bollocks... – none Nov 11 2011 at 16:18
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Ha. This was my favourite song when I was 13. – Ambimorph Nov 11 2011 at 19:33
One of the best songs ever made...ever. – Heather Feb 5 2012 at 1:45
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11

PUFAs have been know to thwart the ancestral condition of strong ball skills. Problems with transcription factors involved in ATP synthetase pathways and mitochondrial telomere density fructose sometimes inhibit reward motivating tendencies. In short, this report has been about Brazil.

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11

How fortuitous that this question is posted as I just happened to be playing with balls since early this morning! A wide variety of shapes and sizes for my choosing, it was just a matter of selection.

I definitely warmed up with small so there wouldn't be any range of motion issues and then it was just making sure my hands weren't too cold to handle the next size, didn't want to have any problems establishing contact. I decided that about a 30% increase from last time sounded about right to effectively work my arms, core, legs, and back.

It's truly amazing what balls can do for someone, they really provide an outstanding dimension of functional training that will prepare the body for movements made in everyday life.

Basically I'm just an equal opportunity ball handler. Lacrosse, Slam, Medicine, Nut, Yaki Onigiri.

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10

I've been thinking about getting rid of my front door so that I can roll a giant stone ball in front of the opening like our paleo ancestors probably did (according to cartoons.)

Ball tip: I recently learned of a woman who was able to unlearn her southern accent by keeping her mouth filled with marbles when she spoke.

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10 
So a mouth full of balls fixed her right up? Interesting. – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:03
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Doesn't it always? – lunabelle Nov 11 2011 at 4:05
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A mouth full of balls generally makes me gag so I don't think this tip would work for me. – Shari Bambino Nov 11 2011 at 4:19
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Unless you have an accent to overcome, I say kepp the balls out your mouth. In fact, that may be a great t-shirt idea.... – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:20
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I like my little Southern accent. Better than a poke in the eye or a ball in the mouth (IMHO) – Shari Bambino Nov 11 2011 at 4:24
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Balls. Balls. Balls.

All the live long day it's balls in my life.

Yoga/Swiss balls. I've got two. Bought them whilst prego and needing a place to sit that didn't make my butt hurt like hell. It worked. Also they were great for bouncing on while in labor. Now, I just throw them at my 22 month old. He loves it.

I have a medicine ball but it's too heavy for me to throw. But it's so nice and solid that I've started using it for thoracic mobilization stuff. Also rolling on it along my IT band makes me want to scream, but works the kinks out like a charm.

I use tennis balls for muscle release. Use one of those on your piriformis or your quadratus lumborum and you'll be screaming for your mommy!:)

Finally the good ol' golf ball. So small, but so hard. Great for foot massage. Step on one and roll it around your foot for a while. You can write me a check for that advice once you awaken from your blissful stupor!

Balls. I love 'em. I use 'em. You could say I am a ball a·fi·ci·o·na·do!

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3 
Oh my goodness, that was unexpected. A real answer...I'm not sure what to do except follow your advice word for word. – Kamal Nov 11 2011 at 4:04
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Just use your balls! This is all I want for you. – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:06
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I caught you, you sneaky editress! – Kamal Nov 11 2011 at 4:10
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What?.......... :) – none Nov 11 2011 at 4:13
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As a male, I never like to see the word "hack" and "balls" used in the same sentence. The image is painful.

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8

Balls are great in a massage context. I use a lacrosse ball for my plantar fascia, for example. Perhaps a mouth-sized ball, like a golf ball, could be used as a snack-avoidance mechanism. Even though I live in Switzerland, I haven't got myself any Swiss balls yet. My husband's American set is still in great shape.

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2 
I thought this was a completely serious answer until I read the last sentence. Now I'm not so sure... – FED at LiveCaveman.com Nov 11 2011 at 19:09
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There's a reason nature does not make soap bubbles shaped like a cube. A sphere is smooth, strong, and challenging. It can keep rolling, even when kicked. Just be careful not to deflate your balls and they'll serve you well for many years. Last but not least, let us not forget the Hairy Ball Theorem from Algebraic Topology!

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plus one....deflated balls do nothing but flop. No good for anyone. – none Nov 11 2011 at 20:06
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Pemmican was traditionaly carried in a pouch from the scrotal sack. The testicles, like tentacles would rap around the great white whale's bulbous head and pull him ever deeper into the black abyss...down they plunged....1000s of feet, locked in a death grip that only one would survive, till the crushing pressure of the cold, salty ocean forced them apart...as they slowly rose to the surface...softly, sweetly...the giant octopus offered up a smoke to the great white whale. Ignoring her, he swam off as fast as he could, never to see her again. She sighed, 'what a dick..."

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7

I have a pair of the Chinese medicine balls, about medium-sized. Haven't utilized them in awhile! Lacrosse balls are great for massage; pretty intense though!

UPDATE! Today I did a workout involving med ball cleans; I'd never done them before, and it was nice to learn yet another way to handle balls.

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6

Every once in while I will sit on one and GOD DOES THAT HURT.

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5 
You or the other guy? – Andre Chimene Nov 11 2011 at 4:39
6

Is salt on balls Paleo?

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No, but carnivorous sources of sugar are. – jesuisjuba - paleorepublic.com Nov 11 2011 at 21:23
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But salty balls go so well with sweet meat. – tartare Nov 11 2011 at 21:30
3 
True true. Reminiscent of a favourite non-Paleo treat, Reeses Cups in holiday ball form. Props to the Law. ::gang sign flippy fingers:: – jesuisjuba - paleorepublic.com Nov 11 2011 at 21:41
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I just had to drop in and see what this thread was about. Finally, somebody has the balls to ask. Or gonads at least.

I've only got two. I use them to clear paths and crush assailants. But they're ticklish. Wanna tickle them? C'mon, I dare ya.

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4

I have more balls that you. Just came back from Chinatown with two of those ceramic round orbs that one circulates in one's hands; to live, according to the accompanying flyer, For Ever.

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4

My ball's are dirty from using them to much.

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4

Oh thank god this isn't another one of those hack my vagina questions! I thought for a second that you were talking about male anatomy, but I see that you are not.

Are you?

And let us not forget softball where in order to score you must first make advances to first base, second base and third base. All whilst wielding your bat to make a hit upon the pitcher.

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3

No to all your questions! :-))

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3

I've been sitting on my balls for years. It was uncomfortable at first, but eventually assisted me in being more alert at work... as well the added benefit of feeling the need to take a break from sitting more often. Being very heavy at one time, made my ball-sitting shenanigans all the more awkward. My balance has improved from sitting on my balls, and while my coworkers first thought it odd, they have started sitting on their own balls.

I started a revolution with my balls... what have you done with yours?

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