This is how (thanks to akd for posting this on FB this morning)

Make sure you catch the funny at the end.

I throw down the glove - Julia Child and Jacques Pepin rule at the scrambled egg. This means enough to me that I am transcribing out of my copy of J&J Cooking at Home so you have both of their versions. I made no adjustments - these are straight out of the book.

When you check out the recipes you're going to see that they both use almost identical ingredients, but with each of their slight variations in technique, will give you scramblies with completely different texture, appearance, and flavours.

I have made both and I swear - big time tastycakes.

Bonus: For your viewing pleasure, an entire episode of J&J Cooking at Home: The World of Eggs. First up: scrambled. I love when they get all bickery, really the best show ever with their stories and such.

Julia

• 2 or 3 large eggs
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• 1 tablespoon or more unsalted butter
• Heavy cream (optional)

Special equipment: A 10-inch non-stick frying pan, a straight-edged wooden spoon or a rubber spatula

Crack the eggs into a bowl, add big pinches of salt and pepper, and beat with a fork, just to blend. Over low heat, melt a tablespoon of the butter in the frying pan, enough to film the bottom and sides, and then pour in all but 2 tablespoons of the eggs.

Cook the eggs over moderately low heat, stirring rather slowly and scraping the bottom of the pan with the spatula. They will gradually begin to coagulate after a minute or two; keep scraping the bottom clear to draw in the uncooked eggs. When almost entirely thickened into soft, custardy lumps, after 2 minutes or so, remove from the heat and fold in the reserved 2 tablespoons of eggs. Taste and adjust the seasoning. Fold in another teaspoon or two of soft butter, or a dash of cream if you wish.

Quickly scrape the eggs onto a warm plate (not hot) and serve immediately with the garnish of your choice.

Jacques

• 2 or 3 large eggs
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• 1 tablespoon or more of unsalted butter
• 1-2 tablespoons heavy cream

Special equipment: A 2- or 3-quart heavy saucepan, a medium wire whisk

Crack the eggs into a bowl, add 1/8 teaspoon each of salt and pepper, and beat thoroughly with the whisk. Place the saucepan with a tablespoon of butter over medium heat, swirling to film the bottom and the sides. When the butter foams, pour all the eggs into hot pan and immediately begin stirring with the whisk, clearing the thickening eggs from the sides and bottom of the pan and breaking up any lumps. Be sure to run the whisk around the bottom corners to dislodge any egg that may stick there.

Cook for a minute or slightly more, steadily whisking, until the eggs are uniformly thickened but still quite soft, with very small and creamy curds.

Remove the pan from the heat, whisk in another spoon of butter and 1 or 2 tablespoons of cream, and quickly spoon the eggs into a soft mound on a warm plate. Serve immediately with a garnish of your choice.

Fresh cream is nice, too, to replace some of the butter.

What is not good about your scrambled eggs? If the problem is lumpiness, I can help!

My tips for a nice, creamy texture: keep the temperature low, cook the eggs in a small pan and stir constantly with a wide, flat, wooden spatula. If you keep the egg moving constantly like this, it doesn't spend too long in contact with the heat and stays creamy. If the egg starts to get lumps in it, stir faster! And turn the heat down a bit, or take them off the heat for a few seconds to cool down. Finally, take the eggs off the heat just before they are fully set. This is because they will keep on cooking in their own heat, even in the few seconds between taking them off the heat and serving them.

I bet you'll get a wide variety of answers!

I start with the Kerrygold and use low-medium heat; patience is a virtue with eggs.

I don't whip my eggs, just fold briskly with a fork until well mixed.

After pouring them in, I wait as if I'm starting an omelet, then do the "push toward the center and let the liquid flow onto the pan" move.

Once the majority of the egg is firming up, but well before it would brown as an omelet does, I begin GENTLY pushing the egg around and breaking up the circle into large chunks.

I really don't like scrambled eggs that have been beaten to death before or after hitting the pan. For me, it's more about gently coaxing them to cook but just barely.

A little black pepper, a little salt, maybe some veggies, definitely a little salsa (and bacon, of course.)

Here is where I'm at with my ever-evolving scrambled egg technique:

• medium heat
• plenty of fat (bacon grease, butter, leaf fat, whatever)
• heat fat up but not to the point of smoking
• mix eggs thoroughly with fork or whisk
• add milk for fluffier results
• pour into hot pan and keep the eggs moving
• form into single mass at first opportunity (the top should be giggly and raw)
• flip as soon as integrity of the mass allows (the bottom should show little to no browning)
• cook other side 5-10 seconds
• l'enjroix (fake French for 'enjoy')

In a cast iron pan, make a bunch of bacon over medium-low heat. Remove the bacon and set aside. Crack a few eggs directly into the pan. Add a few squirts of hot sauce and scramble the eggs and pile them together in the middle of the pan. I like my scrambled eggs to not be too uniform, so this method works well for me. When you start to see the eggs bubbling a little, flip the whole thing over and cook another minute or two (not too long, you don't want them to be dry)

The key to great scrambled eggs is low to medium heat and enough fat to keep them from sticking to the pan and to impart that creamy yummy goodness. After that, it's really a matter of personal taste. I like cream, butter, or bacon grease for the fat. You will change the texture depending on how you "work" the eggs. Lots of stirring before and after will give creamy eggs. Limited stirring, just enough to keep things cooking and not sticking, will give the curds and lumps that many people like. Either way is tasty! Just remember-good things come to people who wait . . . great scrambled eggs take time on lower heat, but revel in the creamy goodness afterward!

Made mine this morning with coconut milk and bacon fat in a cast iron pan, medium heat. Garnished with farm-raised bacon. FTW.

Omelet > Scrambled Eggs

this is the best. http://www.wimp.com/cookomelet/

My way, which you may or may not like. Serves one.
3 eggs, salt and pepper, tiny splash soy sauce (or not, if you're afraid of fermented legumes), red chili paste (or red chili garlic paste, depends what I have in the house).
Combine all ingredients with a fork, gently. No need to whip; also, the color doesn't need to be uniform. It can be half white half yellow.

In a small frying pan, heat plenty of fat on high-heat. Atleast 1 tablespoon bacon fat or clarified butter. Or if you're insane like me, half butter, half bacon fat. Tasty.

Move pan around to make sure fat is evenly distributed. Once the fat is sizzling, reduce heat to medium-low, dump your egg mix in.
Give it a few seconds to start cooking, then gently move it around with a spatula a couple times. Give it a few more seconds, and gently move it again with a spatula. When it's still runny, but almost cooked, turn off the heat and move the pan off the burner. Don't worry, the runny part will cook. Don't overcook, you don't want your eggs to get dry.

This lady here has a nice method too: http://startcooking.com/blog/38/Scrambled-Eggs
But I like my scrambled eggs in bite-size chunks, and my method generally accomplishes this.

Ok nobody's said this one. Beef Marrow. Get one bone's worth of marrow out of the bone and slice it about the thickness of two nickels. Brown in pan (preferably cast iron), then break it up with a fork. add in the beaten eggs. You'll probably make your non offal-eating friends gag, but it's awesome.