My friend is having her second Paleobabby! We are very excited, but the issue she is having is that most of her friends and family, who are kind and loving people, are sort of forcing a traditional babby shower on her. My friend would like her paleobabby shower gifts to be handmade items and/or gifts of great food like gift certificates to places that sell shell fish, organs, grassfed beef, etc. My friend's main priority is to start her babby off with a HEALTHY foundation of good food and a few quality clothing items and not tons of Carter's rompers.
Unfortunately, my friend's babby shower planners are much more interested in buying what they want to buy for her, and less interested in getting gifts that the paleomama really wants and needs.
How would you let people know, without hurting feelings or making people think you are crazy/weird, that this is what you want (the organs, the beef, the oysters, the awesome handmade Etsy babby items) without hurting their feelings? How do you help people get over their desire to buy cute Target babby shiz that you don't even want?
People want to give something cute. Give them examples of cute things. Baby chicks (so she can eat them later) a bunny (so she can eat it later) a bib that says "my dad's a cave hottie".
Honestly, the closest you're gonna get is this statement: We don't really need anything because we kept the stuff from the last baby. What we could really use is CASH, (be clear not gift cards, or at least gift cards to somewhere you shop. Somewhere they'll actually go, too. ex: Nob Hill/Raley's. They have great organic selection for a mainstream grocery)
Tell them, that if they buy you clothes, you'll have to sell them off to get cash so you can get what you actually need. Can't really put that in the invite, but she can sure as hell tell her mom and sisters, who will likely be giving the majority of the gifts anyhow.
Another idea: Amazon.com's universal wish lists. Anything sold online can be added to it, including steaks from US wellness meats.
She's gonna get a bunch of Carter's regardless. It's how baby showers work.
To be honest, there's a saying for this. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Just like promoting paleo diets to those that aren't ready, you're dealing with an all around losing proposition. Sell off the stuff you can't use (it's not like it lasts long with the speed babies grow).
Also, it's baby, not babby. See: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll-lia-FEIY
There is no nice way to tell people what to give you as a gift. The best your friend can do is register for things she considers appropriate/useful, and then exchange things if she needs to. Or, your friend could ask for a specific type of shower, say a diaper shower, for example, or a shower where no one brings gifts but works together to make a creative gift such as a baby quilt.
It would be, I think, appropriate to let those who ask about gifts know that the family has specific dietary needs and that gift certificates to "insert-name-of-appropriate-store-here" would also be a good gift. Using an Amazon.com registry is, I think, a brilliant idea.
In addition to selling things your friend gets that she can't/won't use, she might consider donating them to a shelter to help other moms and babies who aren't so fortunate.
How about have every bring a gluten free frozen frozen dish to the party for her to put in her freezer for those first sleepless weeks.
You can also have her sign up for a baby registry so she only gets what she wants. I found the baby registry very helpful so we didn't get a bunch of ridiculous plastic toys and instead got what I needed... like a ring sling, muslin blankets, cloth diapers, etc
Spread the word that every cute onesie should include the gift receipt. That way you can ooh and ahh at all the inappropriate gifts, then return them later in exchange for babby pemmican. Keeping the ones from relatives who you just KNOW are going to ask about their gift later. :-)
i think the in thing now for baby showers, bridal showers and housewarmings are to send out "wish lists" in the invitation. i won't comment on if that is in good taste or not, but it's not unheard of these days and would solve your friend's conundrum quite nicely, imho.
the little paleo stuff that would be very useful for a new mom could be things like fermented clo and butter oil. also, gift certificates to grassfed meat suppliers would also be nice.
Has your friend considered a blessingway celebration instead of a traditional baby shower? I attended a blessingway this past winter for a Mum expecting her second child, and wanting very much to be connected to her pregnancy and have a natural home birth delivery.
Just mentioning blessingway or saying the party will be "along those lines" will get the guests doing some reading on the topic (as it is not a mainstream event). One of the main points covered on any website is that it's not a party to outfit the baby-to-be in a bunch of cheezy newborn outfits - it's to celebrate the new Mum's upcoming journey and celebrate her. Gifts are appropriate but thought must go into them to be appropriate. Some of us gave the Mum-to-be freezer foods to offset the household work, or generic supplies for when the baby arrived, but there was not a single Target/Carter's/brandname anything brought into the house.
It's "out there" but so is Paleo to most of my the people I've come across in my world who cannot believe I'm happy not eating grains ;-)
In my experience people almost NEVER buy gifts off the registries. They always buy stuff THEY want to buy. Which in my mind is ridiculous. The whole point of a baby shower is the get together with close friends and family and celebrate the beginning of a new life in the world...AND to get the momma and baby things they might need/want. NOT what YOU want them to have or what YOU think they might need. Is it possible for her to talk to the people throwing her shower and tell them what she would like? If they aren't willing to budge on the idea of a traditional shower then I agree with BeingVenus and have them bring frozen meals (gluten free), or at least attempt a registry with natural things she would like for the baby and herself. I think it is at least worth a shot having her talk to the people throwing the shower. They might be willing to bend a little hehe.
Realize that even if you make a registry or gift list, you're still only going to get about half of the things you actually want. Also, I've learned a long time ago not to trust my family or friends to give me the food that goes into my body (minus my husband who eats the way I do).
There really isn't a 'tactful' way to guide people into buying what you want.. kinda have to just tell it like it is. If people don't like it, tell them you only want their presence and not their presents.
And keep the receipts!
If she communicates her desire for the stuff she will really use (not in the invitation, but on the registry, which she can tell people about if they ask), then she stands a chance of getting at least a couple of the things she wants, from her close friends. Her great-aunt Margaret is still going to buy her a bunch of cheap overly-gendered baby gear from Target, though. That's just how it works. What's her address? I'll knit that babby a loincloth better than anything on Etsy.
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