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Would a paleo diet make Santa less jolly?

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17 
 If Santa went paleo, I would be more concerned about the well-being of Rudolph... – Wisper Nov 29 2011 at 15:59
Oh, Wisper! That's your best comment ever! – Nance Nov 29 2011 at 18:59
I wonder whether Rudolph and his buddies are fed their natural diet of lichen, leaves and grass, or if Santa gives them cookies and Coke instead... Follow-up question: Is Rudolph's meat paleo? – Karoliina Nov 29 2011 at 20:43
i heard its majic corn...eeeewwwwwww – sage_ Nov 29 2011 at 22:04

9 Answers

11

He already did!

Unconquerable Dave

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10

We've been holding him back all these years though, what with leaving him cookies all the time. From now on, everybody leave Santa a plate of crisp bacon.

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2 
 Bacon for Santa...I want t-shirts made! – Jon Nov 29 2011 at 16:44
bacon for santa! sounds like an awesome new campaign! Hell, bacon for everyone! – raydawg Nov 29 2011 at 17:29
We always left a raw carrot for the reindeer. Maybe we should have skipped the cookies and left just the carrots. – Kelly Nov 29 2011 at 20:45
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Papa, you haven't touched a morsel. I'll have to take this suit in. Eat!
I'm busy, Mama. It's almost Christmas.
Whoever heard of a skinny Santa? Eat. Eat!

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1 
 What's it say that I recognize the words and can "see" Mrs. Claus scolding Santa? – Nance Nov 29 2011 at 18:59
It says you're normal as far I'm concerned. – Carl_Stawicki Nov 29 2011 at 20:56
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He'd probably end up looking like this: http://plus4chan.org/b/baw/src/132088013311.jpg
and he still looks pretty jolly to me in this picture.

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1 
 +1000 for the 4chan link. :) – raydawg Nov 29 2011 at 17:28
1 
 Rule 34 on Santa! – Nemesis Nov 29 2011 at 18:57
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Santa's at the NORTH POLE! He should definitely be on a high-fat, nearly all meat diet. Of course, as a magical being his health is not at risk--when did you ever hear him cough while filling the stockings?

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In one special Santa got sick and Mrs. Claus had to do the work for him. – Kelly Nov 29 2011 at 20:46
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I have a bunch of antique Christmas cards, and Santa is a rather in-shape looking dude on all of them. I don't know when Santa got fat. Maybe when everyone else did. :(

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When he started to get sponsored by coke. – Qommon Feb 9 2012 at 6:02
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Paleo Santa:

alt text

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thats anabolic Santa. – FuelRestMotion Dec 2 2011 at 23:20
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he'd lose his ride if he ate roasted reindeer.

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Nah, he'd only eat those Reindeer too slow to get away from him, the others would be very fit, and would help him get the toys out even faster -- if they know what's good for them! – raydawg Nov 29 2011 at 19:11
yes..i suppose their meat would be like shoe-leather – sage_ Nov 29 2011 at 19:18
Why do you suppose that, sage? Reindeer is actually very tasty! I think of Rudolph every time I eat reindeer stew. – Karoliina Nov 29 2011 at 20:29
1 
 Yeah, but I doubt the reindeer you eat has been living in terror the whole year, or run to the limits of their endurance behind a sleigh. Unless there's something about you that you're hiding from us... :) Unrelated story, years ago when I was a little kid, an aunt fed me reindeer stew with a marashino cherry. Tasty, but very traumatizing when I got to the cherry. She said it was Rudolph's nose... :P – James Nov 29 2011 at 21:55
@James, my BS meter is screaming! but its an awesome story and your aunt is crazy sadistic; i <3 that :) @Karoliina, what James said – sage_ Nov 29 2011 at 22:03
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1

Santa is supposed to be large and in charge. He is jolly and he shouldn't change a thing.

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