Wow, Dave, this is heavy stuff and I know how much I always hated feeling out of control.

Is there any chance you can pre-empt this?

Can you start having a huge, high-fat breakfast every morning so everything seems a little less tempting? Maybe cook up some meat the night before and grab it right away in the morning?

Can you carry something less damaging in your pocket so even if you need to eat when you're full it's not the worst stuff?

Keep talking to yourself! What's most important, living a strong, active life or those treats?

I'm rooting for you!

Awareness of the excuses we make to ourselves. Sure it's a lot easier on a clean diet but don't let the talk fool you, it can still take an awful lot of willpower to reprogram your subconscious. I know if I buy something I will eat it, and any promises that it'll just be this one time and the rest of the week I'll be good never last, sometimes they don't even last out the day. Still, I used to allow myself to believe them, and still have quite a long way to go to remove all traces of that habitual behaviour.

A good step for me has been fasting, now I know I can simply choose not to eat if there's nothing suitable available, rather than rationalising that I 'have to eat something'. And if people are making cakes every week, well then there'll be plenty more cakes in future so I don't need to try this one as if it's my last day on earth. That's been a significant shift in perspective. And that's what we have over the bears. For all that we might be indoctrinated in harmful ideas and bad habits, we can take control. All the other animals would be dead in a week if they had unfettered access to our supermarket shelves like we do.

One possible idea:
Make a simple wordpress blog where you log your daily food intake. Put the link to this blog in your paleohacks profile.

A second possible idea:
Get a buddy with a similar issue. When the odds are against you, you need a buddy.

A third possible idea
Always have gum in your mouth. Then you can't eat without comingling it with said gum.

A final idea
Do you ever drink fruit tea? I find that drinking those intense fruit teas with almost unnatural levels of fruitiness keep me from desiring junk as much.

This is a tough issue. Good luck!

I made paleo energy bar things to eat as emergency snacks while I got used to the paleo diet. That helped.

I was like that bear, but all cravings for sweet things went away once I'd been on paleo for couple of weeks.If you were at my place craving sugar I'd cook a fantastic steak for you. :-)

Have a big breakfast, work to change your habits, and that should stop your problem with cravings.

What worked for me, and so well that I don't care anymore about all the 'cocaine' lying around.

• ask yourself, are the few seconds of (very subjective) tastebud pleasure you might get from insert SAD item here worth the effects on your health and figure? and the guilt you will feel afterwards (remember, guilt=stress, and if this happens often, its chronic stress, which is bad, bad stuff).

remember, people don't really genuinely enjoy eating all that 'cocaine' - I mainly just see them shoving it into their mouths, rather mindlessly. Very different from truly enjoying a very good stew, for example.

• Strike these items off the 'food' list. They just aren't food. Would you eat glass, or plastic? No. Well, stick these items in the non-edible category. If you check out Peggy Emch's website (theprimalparent.com) and read her advice on parenting, you'll see she's taught her daughter to just see processed food as inedible.

Then again, this is just what works for me personally. I've always used the 'stick to your guns' approach, and have never understood the 'cheat' approach. I don't think its worthwhile to 'allow yourself' a little slack and put on a few pounds over Christmas, just because you just can't resist that cake.

Yes, you can! The thing is, the difference between you and the bear is that you have a human brain! Take the focus away from the food and to the company & conversation. Just because everyone is eating the pastries and donuts, doesn't mean you have to aswell! There's nothing wrong with ordering a cup of tea at a restaurant and keeping up conversation even if your friends are eating. In the end, remember, its your choice!

Personally, I don't care if its Christmas or my friend's birthday, no sugar means no sugar. No grains means no grains.

This is what works for me. Feel free to disagree... Good luck,

lots of paleo love :-)

Milla

I can totally relate!  Trying to be perfect through greater self-control doesn't work well for me either. I've been working hard to make better food choices over the last year and though I still get frustrated by some of the sweets that slip in here and there, I can say that I'm worlds better than I was a year ago.

For me the key was to never ever give up and to not beat myself up too much when I eat the wrong thing. I just try to enjoy it and minimize the impact as much as possible. I've learned not to compromise on gluten and that seems to help me immensely. I'm pretty convinced the gluten made me binge like you're describing and I'm pretty surprise at how much more control I feel now that I'm going on a year or so gluten-free. Now when I do have something it will be in the realm of an eggnog latte (cut with lots of milk to make it less sweet) or dark chocolate rather than cookies or cake. I also expect to have sugar cravings the following day because it's seriously crack. I try to have some warmed up berries with garam masala and cinnamon on hand when the cravings get bad. ;)

All the logistical things like bringing my own treats or cooking my own food helps, but I think only the paradigm shift really made a difference for me. As my food choices have improved, I've also found that I've really fallen in love with Paleo food and prefer it 90% of the time now anyway. I really get excited about delicious, nourishing food more than I ever have in my life.

I look at my health more like a long hike with some detours rather than a 400M sprint if that makes any sense. Slowly iterating over a long time towards improvement is much more sane for me.

From Lauren in the comments:

You have my sympathy if you are surrounded by so much easily available crap food all the time. It is not a easy problem to deal with. I think free food offered to you is particularly hard to deal with.

Personally I know that I find it easier to stop at none than stop at one.

Resisting eating any brownies is hard but easier than resisting the second brownie.

You need some kind of mental wall between you and all that food. So that eating it does not even become an option. At least you want to have more control over your own brain than the cake does :)

I don't even want to know what ice cream cake is.

You are singing my song. While not diabetic I did weigh over 300 lbs so balls were to the wall to be sure. For me it was a rewriting of the scripts in my head that finally worked combined with strategic use of off-plan foods so that I could manage my feelings of deprivation.

For me I had to go from a place of seeing everyone enjoying all this wonderful food and it being denied to me to a place of actively choosing not to have it. To come at it from a place of choice and empowerment instead of the pathetic place of feeling like a 4 year old whose mother was telling them they couldn't have to cookies sitting on the table. How you get there is something you need to work out in your own head but try to objectively look at your own thoughts and feelings and work on building some scripts that can help you think differently about the situation. While changing your thoughts will NOT change your DNA no matter who wants to argue otherwise your feeling come from your thoughts and thoughts can be changed which in turn will change how you feel. Just work on getting to the root of how you are thinking about this and feeling about it and how you might change these things to feel that it's a choice you are making and one you can feel good about.

I like the advice from Nance to pre-empt things. Just wanted to suggest that cooking your own might be part of that. There are some great paleo transition recipes out there, and some great recipes that can be adapted to paleo pretty easily. (Try googling homemade sugar-free chocolate chips, and you'll see what I mean!)

We were all this bear at one point or another. Hopefully, we'll teach our kids to avoid crap in a bag/box and the next generations can avoid that evil.

Cocaine is appetite suppressing and you'll be way to busy talking amazing crap to everyone at said events to have time to eat anyway. I say indulge.

When I'm not high on cocaine and I'm tempted by other people's crap food, I tell myself, it's not food, it's poison, don't eat it, it's for the weak. You're strong!

Sounds lame but it really does fortify my resolve.

Oh, I feel your pain. I used to be powerless around junky food. The three things that help the most are: 1) knowing that I can't have even one taste of "forbidden food". It's a lot easier to say no altogether than to stop once I've started. 2) going completely gluten free - feel so much better that you're not tempted to eat any gluten-containing food, which is 90% of all snack food. 3) Arming myself with healthy alternatives when I know there will be tempataion. GF whole food treats, be they deviled eggs or a coconut treat do not have the same effect.

Oh, and the one other (non-dietary) thing that really helps - having something else to do with your hands. I knit, and I make sure to bring a small knitting project with me to all social gatheirngs. Having my hands busy keeps me from eating just because "it's there" and keeps other people from pushing food on me. Knitting is also a good conversation starter - especially if you're a guy.

Celiac with soy allergy works for me. I don't have the option to eat junk.

Speaking of which, I kind of lost my taste for junk food. But it took a few relapses to get to this point. Kind of like quitting smoking.

It gets easier?

I was in the exact same situation, only difference was that I was the one making muffins, cupcakes, etc... :D So I just had to stop that, no big deal. But that didn't stop me of buying it elsewhere or eat the crap food people kept offering me and I couldn't say no to.

So I went looking for something to motivate me. And I found a lot of quotes, especially from Nike like Just do it (Or better, Just don't!), Yesterday I said tomorrow (Sounds familiar?). But after a few days, I slipped again, got back on track once more and slipped again and went back on track once more, etc...

Since support from friends and family (and of course you guys too) is a big help, I also thought of a blog. But that just ain't my thing. Although letting your frustrations go in a post on forums helps like crazy.

Now, what helped me keeping on track was a goal. I want to join the police, it's all I ever wanted, but suffer from various physical issues at the moment. And even that goal didn't seem enough to keep me motivated. Until I found my cherry to top it off:

The bitter truth, hanging right in front of me :)

Dave, I've learned that for me, sugary "crap food" practically IS cocaine. Just recently, I've accepted that it is an addiction, and one that can't be taken lightly. Now, I try to look at sugary junk as a recovering alcoholic would look at a beer or a shot or "oh come on, just one little glass of wine." Because I don't know where just one bite, or one sip, will lead me, it's safer and simply necessary to avoid, avoid, avoid.

Realizing and accepting that this is a real issue for me has encouraged me to treat it seriously and to remain "sober."

Don't deprive yourself of sugar? or eat more.

sounds like to me you have made some choice and you are not happy with them. my family doesnt eat paleo either. these people are like your family. i can respect my familys choice not to eat paleo, you can too. you can do it.

Pre-empting it didn't work for me. Having a "cheat jar" didn't work for me. Weekly scheduled binges didn't work for me.

What worked for myself, and my girlfriend, more than anything, was to just gorge on problem food items. To the point where I felt like absolute shit, especially in contrast to being strict Paleo. Do that enough times, and you get over it.

It took me awhile, but this summer I reached a point where nothing with wheat really interests me whatsoever...not even 85C Bakery pastries. And a week ago, I walked past the ice cream section at Sprouts and felt nothing.

Have you read Zorba the Greek? Wise words, that man.

My question on hunger as a Paleo talisman was ignored and/or poo-pooed. I will exhume it from the paleohack morge and turn the corpse in a different direction. GET RID OF YOUR HUNGER! EAT BETTER. if your answer is "I eat real well". My answer is NO ,YOU DO NOT EAT WELL ENOUGH! I walk around, through, and over crap food each day like every human being in the Western World. It's sometimes even in my house. Overnight visitors, friends and in-laws. It is no problem, because I'm one step in front of the hunger. I've just eaten my 100% Paleo meal, which I've customed made for my individual goal of avoiding hunger. It is not rocket science. Stop finding excuses. If you need to eat sit, eat shit. But really! Go back to the the drawing board and find out how to get rid of the hunger. Tweek the diet, and don't stop until you get it right. Sorry, this is what I do for a living., as a personal trainer. I hear this daily, if not hourly. I'm really a nice person. :) ..... And let me add , I enjoy your answers and questions here on PH!

Wow, people here have great answers, so I'm not sure this adds much, but more suggestions for you:

(a) When you're tempted to cheat in private, remember that you're not rebelling against anyone else, you're just rebelling against and punishing yourself, and there's no reason for that. There are plenty of much more fun ways to actually rebel against other people :)

(b) I absolutely second the giant breakfast of eggs and bacon, smothered in ghee. Honestly, it might make you kind of nauseous (walking for about 1/2 an hour afterwards should help) but it really does make crappy food unappetizing and prevents you from eating again until you're actually hungry;

(c) Don't think about the food before you go to these events and visualize yourself avoiding it. Everyone says to do that, but then you're just salivating and thinking about those foods. They're not food. You're not denying yourself anything. You're just a different animal than they are. That's hay, they're horses, you're a tiger, go eat some lamb.

(d) Socializing is awesome. People who isolate themselves because of their diet are doing themselves a disservice. But that being said, you sound somewhat desperate, and you know that if you can lay off the junk for just a couple of weeks, the cravings really do go away and become more manageable. So, as a last resort, for just a few weeks, don't go to these events. Lie, say you're sick, make other plans that don't revolve around food (coffee breaks, movies, have people over to your house, etc.); and

(e) Lastly, don't drink for those few weeks. I love drinking, and drink a glass or two of wine every day. But when you're fighting an addiction, and your body is screaming for cocaine, lowering your inhibitions is the last thing you want to do. Snuggle on the couch with a cat/partner/book, sip some tea, plan your delicious fatty, fatty breakfast.

I have absolutely no doubt that you'll be answering a question in a month or so, saying that you're no longer coke-bear, and dishing about all the awesome things you did to get there.

All these wonderful answers! I think what sticks out here is a two prong approach. The first is mental hygiene, discipline and commitment. That is easy when you are not hungry. Sorta hard when you are.

The second is to embrace the science. Jack Kruse fixes people with his Leptin reset by having them eat so much they are not hungry. A big breakfast of 50g protein will handle the cravings.

Another thing to keep in mind here. There comes a time, when adding back starchy carbs to one's daily intake that one starts to have "intrusive thoughts of food". I think that was discussed by Phinney on his Jimmie Moore podcast. Those food items are intrusive, but visual and possibly olfactory. There is an addictive process to sugars at work here, and that may make it essential for you to exercise exquisite environmental control.

Try to find a way to ask for the support you need and deserve from your friends and family members. Make them partners in your "recovery". I am not calling you an addict, by any stretch, but if you ate yourself into DM2 and were fat at one point, you did have a carb addiction, right? This is physiology, not psychology. Read up on it.

Put up a photo of your former self, where you can see it, and more importantly THEY can see it. They see what you have accomplished, and they get to be part of the solution by helping you continue.

If you look at Mark's Daily Apple from last Friday there is a story of a very fat guy who got very buff. I am sure that his family is not pushing donuts in his direction. They more than likely are saying Dude! Tell me how to do this.