Need a good woman, paleo preferred.

Unfortunately, now that I'm a rock god with abs of steel and a much bigger penis, I've also become an intolerable narcissist and nutrition demagogue.

Ready...set...VENT!

Lack of autonomy is very very hard for me. Before kids I worked - a lot. I was the main breadwinner in fact. Now we have two kids and my husband's job requires we move often, mostly to remote places. As a result I stay at home with the babbies - which is great - but it can be isolating and irritating that I don't have a stash of cash to buy presents, go on trips, whatever.

Also the nature of my husband's job comes with a HUGE lack of control. His work involves responding to situations in which shit has hit the fan. He is VERY good at what he does, but the problem is you never know when the shit will hit, or how stinky it is going to be. So, I can choose to be on guard at all times or play blissfully ignorant. I bounce back and forth. Mainly I choose to laugh.

There ain't no macro or micro nutrient, no bacterial infection protocol, no biohacking regime that I know of that can help me deal with this situation better. BUT since nutrition is one area in which I can exert complete control, I do it and it seems to be helpful in that regard.

"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface Consuming, confusing This lack of self control I fear is never ending Controlling"

~linkin park or someone else?

BTW - Personally, I think Linkin Park sucks because I am not an 11 year old boy skater punk.

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I'm coming from a history of 5 years of mental illness (anorexia, depression, ocd) which has left me today at 20 with no qualifications (had to leave school at 15 for psychiatric inpatient treatment), no friends, zero confidence, family relationship issues, a lack of identity and sense of how to go forward. I'm grateful today to be very close to fully recovered - at least functional and able to start making plans for the future but it's easy to feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do careerwise or how to get there and it can be scary and lonely. Time moves faster than I do. I also get so jealous seeing the kids I grew up with succeeding at uni, travelling the world, falling in (and out) of love and just generally LIVING. I am not going to sit idly by and watch my life continue as it has but the stage I am at is incredibly frustrating. Well enough to want more, still not robust enough to seize an opportunity. Improved health has brought back the will and desire to live... now I just need to get on with the process.

generally i just would like to be a better mom, better wife, better friend. more present, less rushes, less screaming at the kids, calmer, not taking things so seriously, less anxious and tightly wound, less defensive. i just want to be a better person for the people i love, who are legion, and deserve the best of me.

nutrition is a form of self improvement, and when im on track then im calmer, happier, more focused. but, its only a tiny piece of the puzzle, really. i want to live to see my daughter become a grandmother, so i keep that as the goal and tend to lose sight of the small, minute to minute goals like spending another minute cuddling instead of running off to clean the kitchen for the 234,985,643,795th time today.

"Unfortunately, it can be uncomfortable to discuss negative things when everybody seems fairly happy."

True, yet it seems to me no less accurate that it can be uncomfortable to take a positive, future oriented, make-the-most-of-the-moment approach to life, when many if not most people are routinely caught up in complaining about their life situation, second-guessing themselves at every turn, and making their quest for excellence dependent upon external circumstances. "I can't make any progress because nobody supports me, or I don't have enough time, or I'm tired a lot, or [fill in preferred excuse]..."

I am not referring to Paleo Hacks per se, but rather to something approaching the human condition. I'm particularly struck by how easy it becomes to say things like "I'm under a lot of stress," as if "stress" simply comes to us externally, like the weather. Even the statement, "My life is stressful at the moment." As opposed to: "I'm experiencing a lot of challenges these days, and I'm confident I can rise to the challenges. The very thought of being able to do so, fills with me energy and optimism."

Resilience can be taught. Life is a classroom that presents us with endless lessons, called opportunities. The learning is up to us.

Sunshine. Seriously. I live in a dark valley in a rainy coastal region, and winter sucks. Plus I live like a mole, going to work in the dark, slaving away under fluorescent lights in what I'm sure is a moldy building, and going back home in the dark.

I hate, hate, hate, hate it.

But I'm working on changing that, in a financially positive way! (C'mon, magic lottery ticket. j/k) I hope to have my own (profitable, please) business in a couple of years, so I can enjoy the sun when it's out, walk the dog when I want, hike when I want... Sigh...

Towards the end of 2010 I passed a 1cm kidney stone due to the doctors forgetting to zap it properly with their ultrasound asteroid gun. From what I can only guess was damage caused by giving birth to an oversized calcium oxalate baby, I actually developed a level of urgency which resulted in me having to run off to pee at best two or three times an hour, at worst eight to ten times. I basically did nothing the whole of 2011 apart from pee, and spent more time in a toilet-stall than a drunk girl does in a nightclub.

So forwards into my Paleo 2012, may yee be more certain and less porcelain.

And apart from that I want more humility, gratitude, passion and to be more useful with my time. Also this year I want to knock on the head my constant worry for affirmation, which come to mention is not helped with all this PaleoHacks vote tomfoolery. I also need to watch my focus with my new found passion for health and fitness and make sure I don't become self-obsessed. Self-esteem is like carbohydrate, I need not explain the metaphor any further.

So all that and perhaps I need to learn to use less commas in my sentences, or perhaps learn to use other forms of punctuation; and of course be less verbose and use full stops sooner rather than later.

My motto is "Be Useful".
Meditate on that, and you won't go wrong in anything.

Was hoping Paleo made me taller whilst invigorating my skin with rich moisture.

Neither has happened... yet!

"I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her, I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six four Impala"

There are some things.. and some stuff.. and some things. And.. stuff.

What helps immensely is that I use nutrition, and exercise, as a platform to help me deal with well.. the stuff and the things, so a healthy body/healthy mind is the best path for me to handle it all.

Yep.

--EDIT--

I forgot to vent, too busy explaining my method of dealing and such. Ahem.

GODDAMNSHIZMOFOCRAPSHITFUCKMOTHERFAWKING AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhh deep breath AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh hh....

Ok, done now.

I fear I have developed an aversion to allopatic medicine. First, I was diagnosed with diverticulitis, given multiple rounds of antibiotics which worsened my digestive tract, to having 4" of my sigmoid colon removed. I then developed an umbilical hernia likely due to the surgery and was informed that I had bowell wall thickening. Eventually, I was diagnosed with mild crohns only to be told that I would be medication dependent for the remainder of my life and eventually require furhter surgery. Thankfully, I found a naturopathic doctor who explained SIBO to me. I gave up wheat and began SCD before stumbling upon paleo diet which I believed has vastly improved my health. I am very resentful with regards to western medicine. I saw over 5 board certified physicians and can only recall 1 spending over five minutes with me and none discussing diet. I'm getting anxious and stressed just thinking about all of this. I was socialized to believe the doctor knows what's best and that I need to take my medicine like a "good little boy." I am grateful that I am feeling better, but have avoided seeing an allopathic doctor to confirm (through testing) that the dietary changes are actually working. Intuitively, I know I am improving based on symptom reduction and improved digestion. However, I still struggle that I am acting against medical advice and somehow need western medicine to tell me how to feel better. Our current medical system, should I say disease system just really angers me. Thanks for the excellent question

Paleo/primal nutrition and exercise hasn't cured my diabetes (type 1.5/LADA), as much as I wanted it to, and as much as a lot of people can believe it will. I still have to take insulin, and insulin makes it hard not to store fat, no matter what I'm doing. When I started insulin, I could see my abs and quads. No more. Sometimes it's temping to quit insulin and get lean again, but then I've got chronically high blood sugar soooo that's no good. Anyway, eating this way certainly helps me manage it and use far LESS insulin than I otherwise would have to, but it's not magic. And I still get high blood sugars on days I eat too much protein, don't exercise, or get out of bed on the wrong side.

And count me among those depressed. Ironically, in a way cutting the sugar and carbs out made my symptoms more acute because, I suppose, I'm not self-medicating with carbs which are great for temporarily feeling better. I've got some focus issues. I'll be starting regular medication soon because I have to let go of the "if I just tried harder/was more perfect" thinking or I'll be in this cycle forever. (Same applies to the diabetes.) I've got the heredity on both sides and it's a different kind of insanity to think, even after trying everything else, I can conquer it without help.

What's missing for me is the clarity to accomplish all the tasks that I need to do in a day. I really need to stop procastinating and being lazy and get things done. I'm working on it and my whole30 and bodyrock 30 day challenge is really helping.

I would like it if my nutrition helped me talk like those Mom's I see on television...you know...who calmy/sweetly say stuff like.."...it's probably not a good idea to put gum in your sister's hair." Instead transforming into a scary looking Monster and screaming..."WHY DID YOU PUT GUM IN YOUR SISTER'S HAIR?!"

What's missing in my life is my family. I have 5 niecephews on the other side of the country, so I don't see them as often as I'd like. I also miss my in-laws and want to move back to be near them again. It's a big family, and they provide a lot of love and support, plus fun trips camping, clamming at the coast, cross-country skiing to a winter cabin, and dancing. Togetherness with family and friends is something I think hunter-gatherers in general had more than we do today, and I'm really missing it. Now I just have to drudge through a few more years of grad school and then hopefully we can move back.

Well, I suffer from depression. I have dangerously thought, in the past that, as long as I was eating healthy paleo, I could go off my fairly small dose of antidepressant, and be ok. I was not! I don't know if it was the chicken or the egg, but all of a sudden I was no longer eating paleo and taking care of myself like I know I deserve when I am in a good frame of mind, and I wasn't taking my meds either. It finally came to me one day when I could not stop crying in front of a complete stranger! Things got quite awkward, and I kept asking myself "what the heck is wrong with me!?!". Once I figured out the whole mess, I got back on the meds and did a little thinking. I had become dangerously low, low enough to contemplate suicide at times, and I was constantly lashing out at my family.

But I have certainly learned my lesson, and as much as I would love to dump my meds, I know they keep me level and more enjoyable to be around. I still read about how someone has successfully come off their meds by supplementing with this or that, and I sigh wistfully, but I know I dare not try it at this point. I am now on a whole 30, cutting dairy out for the first time, and feeling great! I feel like this time I have got it... and I will make sure to keep taking my meds!

I need a job. I am so tired of being way way way way w.....a.....y below the poverty line... I need to graduate with my teaching certifications and find a school that is hiring and get a job.

Eating better helps me feel better physically and emotionally, but I still have some emotional issues that I would like improved.

There are so many other things... but mainly I am tired of not feeling like I am not worth anything - financially, emotionally, physically... I just want to feel better all around. I would like things in my life to be less difficult.

Trying to figure out if my job is in line with the career path I really want. I keep waiting for some sort of inspiration to tell me what to do when I "grow up". I work for a big Wall St. firm in NYC but I miss my country life. I wonder how the city life has affected my health, even though there is so much here available in terms of food, but I don't get out and hike as much as I would like to, my 20 minute driving commute used to be my relaxation time, and I don't have that anymore. So many things are great in my life, but I feel this huge hole with wanting to know what to do. I really just want to go live in the country again and have a small farm, but that requires a lot of capital build up that I can't do right now, and we're waiting for the med school admissions information to come in for the spouse, so there is so much up in the air. I guess I want to learn balance, and just chill out for a while, eat right and perform well at work. I am suffering from body image issues too. I gained weight from Thanksgiving to Christmas and feel so uncomfortable in my skin. So I think that is at least the one thing I can actively do something about, so I guess it isn't so bad, but it preoccupies a large part of my mind. I thought venting would make be feel better but I kind of just feel more blah... good question though! I think venting is important.

Hey, might as well...

I've come to realize that what I do for a living means very little (read: nothing) to me, and spending 40 - 50 hours a week on something that doesn't invoke my passion is no longer an acceptable in my life.

I'm planning on going back to school fall semester of this year for biochemistry. The reading I've done on nutrition over the last year has had a definite impact on my realizing that I'd like to be doing something that better challenges my mind. I largely have paleo and the research based nature of the community to thank for this. I've spent much of the last five or so years reading about nutrition and had planned on going to school to become a dietitian even before I found paleo, but never delved as deeply into the science of it all until recently.

Also, this is a bit of a reiteration of my recent question on reduced quality of life, but I am absolutely sick of physical therapy, taking it easy in my physical activities, living with chronic pain, and dealing with this goddamn broken leg. And the healthiest coping strategy I had: exercising? Yeah, can't do that anymore; not with any sort of intensity. Sometimes I'd do just about anything to be able to sprint a few blocks.

MEGA JOB DISSATISFACTION. But instead of griping about it like I did for most of 2011, I have made finding a better job my main New Years Resolution for 2012.
Most of this newfound motivation for job hunting (which I loathe) came from the fact that I was in line for a promotion since I started over a year ago and then found out that they have decided they want a spanish speaker. I dont speak spanish. So I got screwed out of the promotion, which was the whole reason I took the job in the first place. GAWD! If you dont like it, change it, right?

touch travel comunity back to my friends. expand time with them.

I really really want my digestive health to improve. I feel like I have been trying to solve a giant puzzle from hell, for 3.5 years. My life and general outlook is slowly getting darker and darker. Its like all the pieces of my life are in such a good place -but I don't get to enjoy them because my digestive troubles get in the way (like I can't go out with friends because I don't feel good, etc).

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse -I now get weekly migraines! I am not naturally a depressed person -but having health problems can really wear a person down.

I am always trying something new, it would just have been a whole lot easier if paleo had been the answer!

(No need for suggestions on how to improve digestion please -just taking the opportunity to vent)

What do I want..........easy

TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE IN EVERYTHING AS TIME TICKS

Health and wealth and friends by the score. By the way, by wealth, I don't necessarily mean material wealth -- it translates to psychic and intellectual wealth, i.e., knowledge resulting in enlightenment.

Unlike material wealth, health is something we all can attain. Through many means, however. I'm now convinced that there are many, many roads to health. And many different ways of optimizing aspects of health. So let's not be too judgmental. Nutritional relativism rules. We all evolved from different areas of the planet. But we're all God's children.

I will say that I really hope my new paleo diet will cure my psoriasis, my mood swings, take my gray hair away, and help me earn more money....

I also want to just point out that we are so lucky to be able to worry about and question the types of food we eat and to tweak our diets on a whim. A lot of folks out there don't have the luxury!

Lastly, I am so grateful to all of you, who are helping me learn things I didn't even know I didn't know!!

I have loved the Paleo diet so far. Yet I have come to notice that I now have a huge flaw... that is taking over more than I want it to. And I have yet to admit this to anyone... so you are all the first. Since I started losing weight on the Paleo diet I have hit 114 pounds and I am 5'5". I have become obsessed with weighing each and every morning, and with wanting to lose weight STILL. My body fat % is at 18.6%, and yet I am trying to cut everything out of my diet except for meat and a few vegetables so that I can lose weight still. I had my annual woman's check up and my Dr let me know that I am getting dangerously thin and that she is worried for me. I started eating a little more, and am now 117 pounds. But here is the thing, as soon as I gained those three pounds I am now DESPERATE to lose them back ASAP. Something is obviously wrong... and I have never had this problem before in my entire life. I have always been happy with myself and have never worried about how much I weigh. I went on the Paleo Diet because I have seizures and I thought it might help, and you know what? It did! I am seizure free and medication free. But it has left me with this terrible problem of self image and never knowing when enough is enough. Now people are worried for me and asking me to eat more. (My husband and brother in particular.) Ah... there is my vent session...as well as myself facing the facts... I dont know what to do from here.

Through my short, innocent life, I had a few health hurdles that were big downers: several heart surgeries in my teen years, sinus surgeries in my childhood years, chronic migraines on a daily basis for ALL of puberty (longest 6 years of my life), an ovarian cyst that burst and oh-my-god hurt, several ulcers, and pretty rough allergies. The biggest bummer of them all was the heart problem, which incited very thrilling panic attacks and trips to emergency, all because of a silly little nerve that crossed my AV node for no real reason except that it was a mild birth defect. Thank god surgery fixed several of my issues (I now have real sinuses that are shaped like sinuses! My heart now beats like a normal person), but it was a struggle to have these things just completely out of my control. I came out like that, and sometimes we ain't all born perfect.

Now that I'm all surgeried up and fixed, as well as having my diet and health in ship shape (bout of disordered eating and weight fluctuations in late teens), all I want is a BABY. But a baby that doesn't have little defects like I was born with. Everytime I see a baby my heart rate goes up and my brain turns into mush that just says "HEY ITS A BABY YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE, YOU CAN MAKE ONE, GO MAKE ONE". The thought of having a baby in my stomach or breast feeding a baby literally makes me feel faint. I constantly have at least one pet in my life, which I get strongly, strongly attached to, and I get very powerful urges to get rid of all my stuff and move about twice a year. I don't know if it's just my age (20) or the stage I'm at in my life (stable long-term relationship) but it is just something that I am consumed by. Having a perfect little baby. Because I'm still in school, my finances are no where near in order, and everyone would be shocked/appalled if I got pregnant, it just isn't in the cards and that SUCKS. I assume that lots of other women feel these same urges, but it's just not something you can talk about very openly. I wish society was set up so that we could have babies when we wanted to, and could somehow be supported as we pursued our careers when our kids were older and more independent! Or, at the very least I could say "Wouldn't having a baby be such an experience? I want one of those" without everyone looking uncomfortable, and then laughing.

My answer is a lot like tatty's. I had a traumatic childhood, and started using drugs when I was 10, and cutting and burning myself. I've thought about suicide, every day, since I was 8 or 9, and only in the past year have I been drug-free and NOT suicidal. I dropped out of high school, because I was so socially phobic that I could not be around people, without having panic-attacks and crying, all of the time, so until 8 months ago, I didn't have a friend, until I ran into someone I knew in middle school. She's actually the one who told me about Paleo. It's helped, a lot, and changing the way I think about food and health has helped me change the way I think about myself, and made me consider that I might be a worthwhile person. There's still a lot of fear, and a lot of anger, at myself and my parents, but I see the value in trying, now. I worry that I've thrown away my life and won't get anywhere, but I know I have people who love me, and I think I might be ready to love myself, now, and forgive myself for the mistakes I made. I know I can't change my past, and as much as I wish it hadn't happened, I recognize that it taught me, a lot, about myself, and other people. I know I just have to move forward, and that it's going to be difficult, and of course I'm scared. But at least I'll be doing something different, making a life for myself, and that's all I want, a chance to live my life, without a miasma of depression and doubt stalking my thoughts.

I hope it's okay that I answered this, I know it's kind of old, and my answer was probably sort of depressing, but it's something I needed to be able to say. And it's a question I'm glad was asked, because I think a lot of people are so overwhelmed that they look to one thing, to fix everything, and then give up, when it doesn't work like a miracle; I know I did that, a LOT, before I realized how much work life takes, but how much it's worth it. I'm not accusing anyone of this, just pointing out that it's something a lot of people do.

I want to find a nice girlfriend and it seems that everything that is an obstacle to that is what makes me depressed. I have been alone for the last 5 years after a relationship ended badly and as the years went on my self esteem practically disappeared, now I can't even imagine myself in a relationship. I hoped paleo would cure all my problems but it hasn't, I still have fairly bad skin and dark circles and a less than ideal body. But I am fairly new to this so maybe things will change. Depression and anxiety come and go but are definitely improved on this diet so that's something to be thankful for :)

It's nice to see a thread like this, particularly not centered around failures in weight loss but also in other aspects of life and health