I know I'm fairly new at this, but if she's wanting to lose weight it will come off much easier if she doesn't eat fruit, nuts and dairy. I know you said she's picky, but following a pretty strict regimen is what will work best. And also maybe trying the Leptin Reset.

I think sometimes it's hard for couples to switch to a certain way of eating together, just because girls need so very many fewer calories than guys, and when food is totally new to you it's hard to eyeball whether you're eating too much or too little (i.e. a bowl of cereal and skim milk is probably much less food than the lovely smoothy you were describing, plus liquid calories are really really hard to eyeball, so maybe she only needs 1/2 or maybe she should stick to eggs & meat).

So, I'd say she should give it some time so she can get used to telling when she's hungry/full and how much food is too much food (which is hard to tell sometimes with new foods until suddenly you realize it's 16 hours later and you're still full).

Sometimes it's just hard to eat with dudes, because it's natural to subconsciously eat just a touch less than whatever they're eating. But if I ate 2/3 of what my husband eats, I'd get fat in very short order.

BTW, I'm not saying she should start counting calories and weighing her food, I'm just saying that in the transition phase, since she's eating with you a lot, she may just not quite have figured out how much food she actually wants to eat. It comes with time.

Based on the answers so far, it seems like we've really come full circle, and in the obesity realm, that's not a good thing.

Obesity can't be solved by just eating less. You have to change your hormonal environment. This will set what your body wants to do with the calories it gets.

She will be much more likely to succeed if you take away the fruit and nuts (including coconut milk) and the dairy. Reduce carbs to 20g or less. It's not a 100% guarantee, but if it is going to be so hard, you might as well give it the best chance of succeeding.

How close is she to her goal? I really, really like this SuppVersity post on how you need to adjust your way of measuring depending how close you are. And even if she's not close, for women it's a little bit more tortoise than hare.

That said, I think the biggest problem women have is finding that sweet spot between eating too little (and thus raising cortisol, slowing metabolism) and eating too much (and thus thwarting fat loss efforts).

I've been lately talking about using hunger as a guide. Never hungry? Probably eating too much. Always hungry? Not eating enough.

We're all different, so it will take some time to figure out what works best and the right kind of exercise to make this work (and hint ... it's not chronic cardio, so don't let her get any ideas from watching the Biggest Loser!).

her body needs to heal itself...she's not just magically going to correct any metabolic issues in a few days, or even weeks on the diet. i'm paleo / primal over two years now, and i'm still discovering that i'm getting 'better' and it's getting easier to maintain the diet with those changes. she should relax, cut out the big culprits, and eat the foods that will most quickly nourish her body back to health. she'll get there :-)

Many of the answers already given include good tips.

If anything, I would add eat a good meal and don't eat again until you are truly hungry. Eating 3 meals plus 2 snacks means you're eating to a schedule rather than physical hunger.

And I must say, if she's stressed and not enjoying her first phase of the change one of 2 things will probably happen: either she'll decide she's not ready for this and go back to comfortable ways of eating or she'll get stubborn and make a true commitment to the new lifestyle.

Only she can make the decisions here; I think your best role is love and support as she works through what she wants and what she's willing to do to get there.

My guess is that she's eating too much. And if she's still occasionally slipping with the diet soda then that could be having a disproportionate influence. Often it's necessary to work your way into it, that's partly why cheat meals used to be popular - eating cleanly 4 out of 5 days of the week is better than slipping up a little every other day. There's a lot to be said for giving yourself permission to improve slowly. Every decision to forgo that soda or treat is positive movement. Writing those 'non-food' decisions down, along with what she did actually eat may provide a useful focus to see how her diet is improving, and there are several other motivational approaches that may help give her confidence in what she's doing.

At the other end of the scale, I'd be very surprised if she didn't see some movement with IF. Fasting can be a great way to break old habits and form a enw relationship with your body's needs, but there are risks to tackling it before you have control over what your diet will be when you start eating again.

The smoothie is a sugar bomb...bananas are a starchy carb which will slow fat loss, and things such as yogurt and whey protein are highly insulinogenic...you may want to cut those out. have her start her day with protein and fat (maybe a 1/2 cup berries if you so desire). if shes having this instead of a smoothie in the mornings it should help to get things going.

this next part is up for debate...

i am working with a crossfit instructor in FL who successfully lowered her BF to 12% and she told me to keep in mind that while fats are good not to overdo it with one meal (where as many people say KEEP ADDING FAT!)...for example I would have coffee with cream, eggs, bacon, and avocado for breakfast, thats 3 different fats. she suggested ONE fat per meal and be moderate because if youre trying to burn fat...after all TOO much will still lead to weight gain. we want our bodies to burn the fat thats there.

try to keep carbs under 50 g. a day too

Lots of good answers already here. But I want to reiterate the protein shake is a bad idea - eat real food! And giving up diet soda "for the most part" doesn't sound like she's being all that strict. If she's serious about weight loss she need to get her hormones fixed which means being strict and not cheating until she's healed. Once you get your body back to normal you can start being less strict. But until the the little cheats pretty much negate the good stuff.

I think the best way would be to reduce carbs and increase activity for general weight loss. Try counting the calories for the day and make sure they're about less than 2000.

Also tell her of all the other benefits of paleo and tell her it's a lifestyle and it's also best for the long run. By the way you're describing it she seems impatient and could use some more convincing.

Are you taking her measurements or are you only using a scale? She may be loosing inches but gaining muscle, therefore, her scale numbers aren't changing drastically.

When I started using kettle bells my weight really started to melt off big time. I really enjoy the workouts because the movements are interesting and they are a good stress reliever.

My only other tip would be to tell your wife you are really noticing her improvements. Make sure to pick something specific and tell her what you like. This will make her feel good and it could encourage her to keep trying harder. As I got compliments I would get excited, and it made me more strict with my eating habits and it got me to push harder in my workouts. Sometimes its all about encouragement.

Time for my bad cop. Every one is being way too nice here. Your wife needs some tough love. drum role...... First, why are you writting this question? Where is she? She can't type? Answer: you care way more than she cares. ...She "started" the diet, but still is including 3 meals a day and two snacks, Wow! Still includes fruits and nuts. STill includes diet soda "somewhat", Feels" very restricted"..... If she wants to feel really "restricted" she should come over to my house. I'll show her "very restricted" ! :) :) The smotthies have to go... and the Lunch is "varied". Wow , what does that mean? ( I'm guessing McDonalds/ Burger king). Lunch should be the same as dinner. Meat and veggies! (brought from home in a cooler) And last , but not least she's "picky" OMG! Picky equals looking to fail. .....You are fighting the "good fight", but do not expect to win this one. Every tell tail sign is against you and "victory". My thoughts are with you......................... Edit: I'd like to return again to the original premise of your question: She "started "paleo..... For the above mentioned reasons, I think not! What she has done is started "Paleo Theater". You are in the first act of your five act play together. Hopefully not a tragedy.

My introduction to Paleo included a 21-day strict program about 7 months ago. It's not for rapid weight loss. I noticed inches coming off much more than any weight in the beginning. I'm also a picky eater, and had to re-introduce red meat into my diet, after giving up all grains and legumes. It was really difficult - it's very easy to not eat enough of the right foods when you're picky. Like the others said, eating more eggs and meat for breakfast would definitely be a step in the right direction. And, substituting the diet sodas for tea, espresso, coffee or mineral waters would be a big help. I had no idea how much a silly diet coke was keeping the weight on for me. It is the difference between losing and maintaining for me.

Honestly, I don't have the experience or credentials some of the others here have, but to me I don't see that she is eating necessarily too much food. It sounds like her body needs to shift from the low fat/grain based stuff... which I think definitely takes some time. If she can think about her effort to try this new food lifestyle as an experiment to help her body transform the way it processes foods, that might help. It's not a diet as we all know, and the quick weight loss we see with low fat, high sugar/carb diets, is not permanent. It will always creep back - which has recently been cited in some studies. Our bodies will feel starved after some period of time, and our brain chemistry will trigger the urge to overeat. So, she's doing the right thing - it's an investment in long term and real change.

And, if she's detoxing from sugar, that is a big deal. She may be struggling with cravings and physical withdrawls. The shift really will take the 21 days.

I eat whole fruit for breakfast. I think it's the best thing. An energy boost to wake you up, and all the fluids in there and soft fibres to cleanse your digestive system. I can only suggest she tries that. Feel light in the morning.

For lunch I'll tend to have a salad with fish or meat in it. Some days I have a jacket potato with salad and meat (it just depends if I feel I need it or not depending on what I ate yesterday or the night before or whatever).

For dinner, unless it's a cheat day and I'm eating out, it's a massive salad or stew, without starches, so basically lots of veg and a good portion of meat or fish (usually organ or seafood).

I think living this way I get 95% of the benefit, without having to be so crazy about everything that it makes life hard to handle. I went from being fat and ill with poor digestion, to losing 15-20% of my body weight, mostly fat, looking loads younger and healthier, with good digestion and feeling better than I have done for about 8 years (I was 22, 8 years ago and in good health).

I say start simple (lose the main offenders) and then gradually bring in more changes as you like.

The best thing you can do for your health is give up grains and sweets.

I'm no expert by any means, but I'd say hide the scale first. Then, is she consuming too many calories?

I ended up looking up lists of "paleo friendly foods" & mentally taking note of what I like/would eat, don't like/won't eat & those I'd try/never had. I was amazed at how much food I liked/was willing to eat. Maybe making a visual list of foods she already likes/can eat & is willing to add to her new lifestyle could help.

Knowing - as a female - she's gotta come to terms that men/women lose/gain weight differently, at different rates & understand that even one month in isn't indicative of anything.

Do keep emphasizing on "how you feel" b/c eventually that will sink in b/c she'll notice some oddball improvement (energy, bowels, menses, sleep, cravings, mood, etc.).

Keep your chin up & be the loving guide by showing/expressing how this lifestyle change works for you.

I can't provide a lot more than has already been said, except to offer some encouragement. I started this run 2.5 years ago, at 450 lbs. it took almost 3 months before any weight loss showed on the scale, so my neurologist told me to stop getting on the darned thing. He is the one who got me started on quarterly weighing... Enough time to stop the obsessing that was making me miserable, but often enough that, if things did go bad for me (like they have this past winter), I am in a position to catch it before it gets too far out of hand.

If your wife were a friend of mine, I would tell her that it's easier to do the hardest thing first. So if you're going to put in the effort, go for it with gusto and push as far as you can. Go for the VLCs or the Leptin Reset. Give your body the best chance of showing results by believing in yourself and giving yourself high expectations... But not expectations based on the numbers on the scale. Look at measures like the Happiness scale, and the Gee, I can do that this month and I couldn't last month scale... Or the Gee, I never thought I'd actually LIKE that scale... These are, in my opinion as a formerly life-suckingly sick person, a much better way of measuring the overall value of ancestrally-minded eating than depending on arbitrary numbers on a scale.

Who knows... Maybe someday she'll find this amazing community of supportive folks and we will be friends... Then we can compare notes about how tough, but rewarding, some things are like letting go of self-hurting ideas, and trying the tough version of new things, and ripping off band aids in one swift yank.

Best of luck to you both.

If she hasn't read it already, The Fat Trap might help her get some persective. I recommend mindfulness meditation for the stress. Jon Kabat-Zinn and Daniel J. Siegel are a good place to start.

For me its been very very hard - I have converted many people to Paleo to have them lose a ton of weight doing exactly the same as me and I am still struggling to drop the KGs!!!

For me many years of eating whole grain diet ( was instructed by drs and Nutritionists to help with my weight loss after having diabetes with pregnancy!!!) just sank my metabolism and now after seeing a Naturopath they think I have adrenal fatigue ( So insulin and Leptin resistant and then the next step!)

For me my diet is very restricted - just meat eggs and some salad/veg - I am on 15 gms of carbs a day - ketosis and the diet is also LOW FAT ( I struggled with that concept for ages but really when I drop the fat the weight does go too) I sup with protein soups and shakes - no carb and no more than 10 gms at a time ( to keep the whey from being insulinogenic for me) The reason for shakes and soups is that meat has fat and although I have eggs for breakfast and meat for lunch and dinner - adding in meat another 2-4 times a day adds to the fat count. So no dairy - yoghurt coconut milk or anything like that. Keep the protein up and treat her to very nice cuts of meat to make her feel like she is not being deprived - salmon and fish too!

The diet is to give my body a complete rest - I wont be eating like this forever just till I am well then I can drop the shakes and pick up the fat!

Thats not all SLEEP is the single most important thing she can do - a good 8 hrs at night no waking and when you are overweight its hard to get a good night in ( I take pregabba - really helps) Vita D seems to make a lot of difference too

Weight training - 3 times a wk - just for 20 min lift heavy weights on first reps and drop to lower ones really burning that muscle - this helps grow the muscle and that helps with the leptin resistance.

It takes a good 3 months for most women to reset - so early days but hit the gym and 3 times a wk for 20 min is easy for anyone! She will feel better even if not losing.

Sadly for women its a longer harder road we have estrogen to deal with along with insulin! Its so a mans world!