Please hack my email to a new friend who's healthy eating habits include tons of sugar and seed oils.
We never had a chance to talk about that casserole. It sounded mostly fantastic, but you mentioned using sesame oil and that's what I got hung up on. And then we moved on to more important, wildly fantastic activities, and I never got to explain myself. Talking about this stuff in general is far less interesting than the aforementioned activities, so I'll forsake any long speeches in favor of enjoying our time together, free of my pedantic ramble; that said, you're 70 miles away from me, and I'm lonely for you, and I want you to understand some of the background of where I'm coming from. I'm also incapable of doing any real work, it seems, on this lonely Friday afternoon.
So, that said...here’s an article about diet that I mostly agree with: "Feast Like a Caveman and Watch the Pounds Melt Away" (http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/11/11/paleo-goes-mainstream-cbs-news-reports.aspx?np=true) I could care less about weight loss at this point—it’s all about having lots of energy. And not dying.
Here’s my one request for you personally—give up all seed oils (“vegetable oils”) for a month (yes that includes your sesame oil, canola oil, safflower…etc. etc.). Keep the olive oil. Replace with animal fats (ghee is nice, or butter) or coconut oil. Your skin will be luminous and clear. It will not give you heart disease. In fact, as the article points out, a diet rich in animal fats improves blood lipid profiles. This is actually well known and is not seriously disputed among scientists. Scientists, however, were never on the team when we created the original four food groups and subsequent food pyramid, MyPyramid, etc. I’ve been moving in this direction for four years and my total cholesterol has dropped from the low 200s to 160. HDL (“good cholesterol”) increased from low 40s to high 60s (this is considered very good). Blood pressure went from “hypertensive” to “pretty fucking awesome.” Pulse rate went down from 100 to 60-something bpm. Based on my own personal journey, I have come to question every piece of prevailing wisdom—and not just because of the celiac/soy allergy issue. I have found, through self-testing, that there is only one correct conventional dietary truth out there—you are what you eat.
One final note, and I realize you have more important things to do than read a bunch of shit that may or may not be crazy talk, but you REALLY need to read this article about the history of how this ungodly social experiment in diet evolved and took its current form: "What if It's All Been a Big Fat Lie?" (http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/07/magazine/what-if-it-s-all-been-a-big-fat-lie.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm) In eliminating the seed oils, you’ll find that the stuff you use to sauté is the least of your worries—99% of processed and restaurant foods are FULL of seed oils. We’ve systematically eliminated healthy animal fats from the industrial food supply. There is a good reason for this: seed oils are produced for pennies and sold for dollars. Hugely profitable. But if you can run your car on it, it is decidedly NOT food. (Willie Nelson runs his tour bus on biodiesel, which is literally recycled “vegetable oil” from restaurant fryers…)*
I go on to some wildly inventive sex talk from there, so I'll spare you.
So is this a good place to start? I'm going after the seed oils because she expressed concern over an acne breakout and I'm fairly convinced that it's a seed oil thing.
As the girlfriend of a SAD eater who is very, very attached to his shitty diet (and gets very angry if I ever say anything about it, even when his health problems are obvious even to him)...I say good luck.
I'm not sure sesame oil would be the thing I would use as an "in" to this discussion--especially considering the frequent use of sesame oil in paleo recipe books. In fact, sesame oil (along with olive oil) is often excluded from the list of vegetable oils to avoid because, depending on how it is produced, it isn't particularly problematic--as compared to things like canola, soy, corn, and vegetable oils.
I think I would start with a discussion about sugar or grains or more obvious industrial seed oils.
Also, my standard disclaimer in posts like this: If your friend hasn't asked you for information, it may not be well received. No amount of information will change someone's mind if they aren't open to change at that time.
I know your are mostly "right", but sorry ,from here ( im pretending to not know) your e-mail looks like the usual crazy talking BS. I assume she has been eating like crap for ages now, so take it easy with the optimal diet talking and don't try to change that all in a day. See how the relationship develops and then -if its worth it - gradually- drop a few pearls of wisdom here and there.
Pearls of wisdom--YES! (Use them sparingly though)
Sharing how well you feel on said diet-YES! (After many, many dates or if asked)
Sermon plus homework-NOT ROMANTIC!
Even though I agree 100% with you in theory, I personally would delete your number from my phone because I would envision a future of having someone policing every bite of food that went into my mouth. Controlling behavior, no matter how well intentioned is not affection.
I also fear you have crossed another social etiquette line here too, no matter what the ingredients you should have thanked her for the meal and left it at that.
It is however okay to cook for her and casually chat about why you chose the ingredients you did.
It is also okay when dining out together to ask the waiter about ingredients for what you are ordering (not what she is ordering) so as to open the conversation without being critical of her food choices.
TLDR. It is too long and makes you sound preachy.
I'm more sneaky than you are I guess. No one has ever broken up with me and none of my relationships have ended because of food. I do think really unhealthy eating grates on me after awhile. So I do bring things up, but slowly and always by talking about it and not by sending emails. IMHO a guy who eats unhealthy is easier to deal with than a granola-eater who already has ideas about health, but unhealthy eaters can be resistant too. I wouldn't continue a relationship with someone resistant to learning more. Usually it comes up when we cook together and I buy ingredients. If he offers me some canola oil to use, I politely decline and say I really like lard/coconut oil because it tastes awesome (I don't say better) and it has some great unappreciated health qualities (I don't say canola is bad). Then I start saying how eating things like that has improved my health. Eventually the canola oil is displaced.
If I encountered sesame oil I would say that I just don't cook with it because chemically, the fats are too delicate, but sometimes I use it as salad dressing or in marinades.
So ditch the email and start chatting in the kitchen.
Don't do it dude. You do sound like a food nazi and no I do not think she will still want you if you send that. This little message needs to come out over weeks maybe months not in a single email. Let the discussion unfold naturally. Don't try to change her. Talk about your own ideas and your own journey and if she's interested she's ask for information. Since acne is a concern send her something that speaks to that directly maybe?
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