I’ve noticed through self observation that the times in my life when I’ve experienced the most social anxiety are the times I’m going through changes in my identity. Sometimes it helps just to recognize that you’re in a growth stage and embrace the cocoon. I hope it doesn’t sound too woo, but going inward and exploring what’s happening can give you a better sense of who you are and who you might be becoming. Social anxiety (for me) pops up when I’m feeling lost and disconnected from myself. I take notice when I suddenly feel awkward, nervous around people, or say the wrong things, and I try to honor that experience as a signal that I need to pull back and let myself finish a growth process. It doesn’t have to be forever if you acknowledge it and work with it. Use the reprieve to make yourself stronger and more sure of yourself. If you’re using your “antisocial” time to beat yourself up and admonish yourself for your perceived weaknesses, you might just turn it into a struggle that goes on and on. Everything is cyclical and sometimes we need a bit of darkness and solitude to mend. I wish you the best of luck.

Your best bet is to get some training utilizing CBT therapy. With social anxiety, you need to face your fears as walk through them logically-- CBT will help with that. If you are worried about the physical symptoms, a great book is " Hope and help for your nerves" by Dr Weekes. I highly recommend it. It helps address why your body reacts the way it does. God Bless

I honestly think the trick is to start small. When I got to college I had terrible social anxiety and wouldn't leave my room. When I finally build up the courage to walk across campus I would turn and run back to my dorm, more disappointed than I had been before. I started to think of the smallest possible thing I could do, which for me was talking to people in supermarket lines. I would think of a line (something about one of the magazine covers in the checkout line, or something about how slow the cashier was etc. I would just look at the person in front of me or behind me, delver my line, and mind my business. They might start talking to you, they might ignore but worst case they don't and you never have to see them again. This helped me build my confidence in talking to other people and while it took a long time, I am not bothered by this at all anymore.

For me personally, strength training did wonders for the bit of social anxiety I use to have. I really can't pinpoint why (maybe it has to due with hormones like testosterone and others) and maybe it's just the confidence you start to build while getting physically stronger and a bit bigger, but it was like a light switch when I started. I became much more at ease socially and much more outgoing. I think with guys specifically, strength training does wonders psychologically, as I'm sure it does with the ladies as well but I can't really speak on their behalf. If you don't train with weights yet I highly recommend the book Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe.

Personally, I found mindfulness meditation very helpful with this and related issues. On the subject, I recoomend Wherever You Go There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He has a lot of great thoughts and exercises to try. When in social situations, it basically breaks down to focusing on what is going on, not what might be.

In my case, part of the process involved kinaesthetic awareness. Kabat-Zinn wrote a book relted to this, too, called Coming to Our Senses.

Hope this helps.

I don't know...I think many people walk around in kind of a self-centered haze. Really connecting with the other humans around us is kind of a rarity. I tend to embrace moments when I can see some vulnerability and humanity in other people and your social anxiety could be seen as a heightened awareness of yourself and your flaws. I think flaws are beautiful. Maybe you could practice loving yourself for the times you feel embarrassed and that might have the paradoxical effect of reducing the frequency? I feel soooo uncomfortable when I'm feeling shy and I start blushing, etc... until I remind myself to enjoy it. Who wants to experience the same emotions all the time anyway? I try to look at it like a mini rollercoaster ride. Anyway, I think can be hard to see self-conciousness as a positive trait when you're feeling it, but it kind of is. I consider it part of a normal day's experience of a normal range of emotions. Point is, if you stop focusing on it as a negative and accept it as a positive, it might not dominate so much.

Just a thought, hope it doesn't sound too hippy. I had terrible social anxiety for a long time, complete with rampant blushing and racing pulse, and some perspective changes helped. In part I've accepted I'm a little "different"? I kind of like that. P.S. really liked Lunabelle's answer.

Throughout my 20s i felt the same. I got involved in a variety of things to boost my confidence: furthered my education, did some adventurous outdoorsy stuff, got fitter, etc. I began to feel like i had something to offer. I met people with the same interests along the way. And here and there I have to "act" like i'm confident and most people see me that way so then i can coast a bit and the anxiety goes away. There is the odd situation where it is just not worth it to put myself through it. At 38 years old i realize there is no need to waste time trying to be someone else. In the end, do things that make you happy. Try and face the fears regularly in little doses and it all gets better.

Try EFT.

It's been really powerful for my clients with anxiety.

meditation + taking action (in small steps if necessary) but keep building on the momentum

Am emmanuel 18yrs, i think i have social anxiety, i haven't been like this for years now, but now i feel very anxious. I do masturbate but not often, am so scared whenever i look at someones face, i also get this hot flashes at my back, what could be the cause?

In my opinion this doesn't change with age as I know a couple (very well)

You need to find things you are good at - excel at them - build your confidence

Spend time with people who build you up, not knock you down

And so what if you're not a cocky jack-the-lad? Don't ever try to be. At least you won't ever be a full-on gobby sort with his head so far up his own .... he can't see how big his own head is. You sound a nice guy

Its all in your head, pretend it doesn't matter and it won't matter. You can think yourself out of anything you thought yourself into. Or maybe the society you're in is awful, and you badly want to leave, maybe the society is what has a problem not you.

How old are you?

Though this may appear to be my answer to everything lately, it may be because it's my answer to many of my own issues - you may want to look into food sensitivities. If you're allergic or intolerant of foods or classes of food chemicals, they can cause central nervous system stimulation and tachycardia (rapid heart rate). It also causes histamine release, which is a neurotransmitter implicated in anxious feelings. I have found a direct correlation to eating something to which I'm intolerant (which, unfortunately, could be one of multitudinous things) and having flushing and anxiousness - and having no control over it. When I'm toxin-free, these feelings don't happen (some latent fear that it will happen is always there - but then I'm pleasantly surprised when I speak to someone and my heart rate doesn't go up and I feel quite at ease). While I've gotten good at cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, mindfulness meditation, hardcore do-or-die willpower and what-have-you I've found that food intolerance was always the root problem. My first improvement was getting rid of gut dysbiosis because yeast is one of my many triggers, and I most certainly had fungal overgrowth in my early twenties when these symptoms were at their worst. (If you happen to have dysbiosis, just be careful that you don't treat it with "food remedies" to which you may also have sensitivities, as was the case for me.)

This is something of a wild guess here, but ever since I've pinpointed this in myself I've suspected that many people with social anxiety are at the mercy of their overly-amped nervous system in constant flight or flight mode caused by food chemicals. My previous degree is in psychology so there can be any number of potential reasons for social anxiety or phobia however I have a strong hunch that food is at least a potentiating factor, even if there is significant genetic/epigenetic hardwiring at work as well.

I know this is an old question, but recent events made me think of a possible answer. I'm house sitting for a friend, which means my schedule is off, and I noticed feelings of reclusiveness are much higher than usual. I am an introvert, but this weekend the urge to be alone became very strong. What if the primary problem isn't social, but the lack of a home? If there is no refuge, no downtime, no peace, no balance, etc... well, then why the hell would I want to go party? I don't want to party, I want to fix the problem, decompress, and then maybe later I might be amenable to a little company.

Just lately my dad said am possessed evily, just of the way i easily get afraid of people, but he doesn't know its my social anxiety, he just mistook the whole thing...... First! what can i do? Secondly! What can i do to boost up my self esteem?.... Please i need answers

One thing I discovered was body posture. Your body posture actually feeds back into your emotions. So actively relaxing your shoulders, arms, adopting the posture of a confident person can help. Its not a total solution because you need to also build self-confidence, but it does help.