Some of these are like-mindedly critical of our lifestyle, just as the other Sh*t __ say video series... if we can't laugh at ourselves...
(At a bar) No, I don't drink beer. I'd like a cider, and two bottles of water. No, it's not for my girlfriend.
(While reading a cookbook) Sounds delicious, if you took out all the crap and replaced it with bacon.
(To a co-worker) So I woke up this morning, and surprise! I can see my Abs! I'm intermittently fasting to celebrate.
(At a coffee shop) Excuse me, I ordered this iced green tea without sugar...
(At a restaurant) Can I get that steak medium-raw?
(At a restaurant) Make sure they don't cook my steak with any oil or margarine... butter is ok though... REAL butter... you don't have any? Here, I have some in my messenger bag.
I had a great workout last night until I got a ticket for trespassing at the Elementary school jungle gym.
(To a co-worker) I don't eat neolithic foods... except for vitamins... oh, and fish oil.
(On the phone) Let's go out for dinner tonight? Where do you want to go? Well, I can't eat there... can you do a Churrascaria? Too much meat? How about a steakhouse?
(On the phone) I can't believe she cheated on me! How did I find out? Yeah, there was an empty box of Captain Crunch in the trash compactor. Hell yea I did! Kicked her to the curb...
(To a vegan co-worker) I've got a great book to loan you, but you're gonna have to open your mind first... at least consider humanely raised meat...
(At a supermarket butcher shop) Was this pork loin locally sourced?
(At a supermarket butcher shop) Are there nitrates in your bacon?
(At a supermarket butcher shop) Do you have any other organ meats?
(At a supermarket produce section) Can you tell me where this spinach came from?
(On the phone) Wait, wait, wait... let me back up... back in 2002 this guy wrote about gluten sensitivity in non-celiacs. Wait, no, hold on... maybe it was 2000... anyway, he has a book, but I mostly got info from his blog...