Female 23, 58kg (probably gained since last). Waist 72cm. Looking out of shape with a distinct apple figure (more like chicken figure). Removed Implanon two months ago, regained a little bit of libido. Still no period, or actual libido and everything disgusts me. Incredible cravings for carbs and especially very doughy things.
Lots of butter and lard and coconut oil
Chicken, salmon, mackerel, beef, pork
Broccoli, spinach, salad, garlic, onion and other types of low carb veggies.
Multivitamineral, 3-type magnesium, vit D, zinc, Fish oil, vit K, L-glutamine
I've been gaining weight around my middle and behind and I'm completely unable to lose it. I can't relax with breathing exercises or meditation or films. I go for regular walks and move around quite a bit, but exercising absolutely kills me lately, but it can't all be due to lack of exercise.
I look very worn out with dark circles around my eyes and my skin is not well and feels loose. I have no interest in anything and I can't laugh. I take everything seriously. I have lots of energy, but no interest in doing anything with it. Everything bores me. I can't stand listening to people and I can't think of anything to say. My face is always dead-pan.
I don't recognize myself at all! I'm completely apathetic and don't care how things go anymore, since I stressed myself out over my academic results and high work morale. I used to be very easy going, but now I'm like a bridezilla and everything needs to be perfect and clean.
Very afraid of going to the doctor. I'm paranoid about them thinking I'm hypochondriac. They usually do. The standard bloodwork came back normal, includng T3, T4 and TSH, but haven't had other hormones checked.
I haven't taken care of my looks for a few months, while I used to be very vain. My hair is good and my skin isn't oily, but it looks very worn out. I don't get sick at all, and my mite allergy disappeared all of a sudden.
I have started smoking again since two days ago and drink in the middle of the day and eat bread like crazy. None of these things relax me. I can't sleep, but I'm in bed all day like a whale. It hasn't made any change in how I feel. I don't feel worse or better.
I always wake up feeling tired, but I jump up and run around anyway. I just don't feel refreshed.
I have checked symptoms for high cortisol, and even though a lot of things match, I don't particularly feel stressed.
Appreciate your time and answer. It'd be very nice if it's not along the lines of "exercise more" or "up your fats" or "relax". I've been searching for answers extensively. Also, part-taking in a hobby is a very good idea, but I've lost interest in all my hobbies :(
EDIT: Thank you all for the response! It helped tremendously. I have decided to make a big change in life and steer off the current education path I was on in pursuit of a traveling freelance nomad lifestyle! I also started taking Cortisol Manager two days ago and it has helped in making me more relaxed and productive and happier, so I don't feel like a headless chicken anymore.